I’m grateful for… my husband

standard November 25, 2011 1 response

In the summer of ’99, days after my 23rd birthday I met a guy at a party. He was supposed to be my rebound one-night-stand. My way of bouncing back after two long term relationships with two very different and yet equally-wrong-for-me guys.

This guy was sweet. He had huge blue eyes and a gentle smile. And as we danced together that night I felt so at home in his arms that I thought I might be crazy.

Twelve years later I still feel at home in those arms, but it doesn’t feel so crazy any more.

It was one of those random events, two people who weren’t really supposed to be in the same spot met and by miracle were each at a place in their lives where they both were open to what was there.

I’m grateful each and every day that I let myself stay open to what we stumbled on. I’m grateful each and every day that he felt the same way.

On that day I met a man who would come to love me for exactly who I am.

A man who lets me be myself.

A man who has my back at all times, who believes in me wholeheartedly, and who wants me to succeed in all my harebrained schemes.

We are such different people who come from such different backgrounds. I come from a family of extroverts, he comes from a family of introverts. He grew up Jewish, I grew up essentially without religion. I grew up in France, he grew up in California.

I’m a loudmouthed, boisterous reader and writer, he’s a quiet, thoughtful, quirky musician.

Logic states that, on that warm Bostonian night, he should have taken one look at me and glossed right over me to any of the other girls hanging out at that party. Instead, he did a double-take, stopped walking, and came to chat with me.

I’ll never stop being grateful for that.

That’s it, the fifth and last post in my Week of Thanksgiving hosted by LilKidThings. I know a week usually has 7 days, but I’m taking the weekend off from the Internet to enjoy all these things I’m so grateful for. If you need more gratitude and warm fuzzies click the image below to see what everyone else is grateful for!

Lilkidthings

I’m grateful for… Gratitude

standard November 24, 2011 1 response

It would be almost too easy this year to wallow in the fear, the sadness, and the “what ifs” that keep assailing us at every turn.

Frankly I think I was headed there recently. I couldn’t blog without wanting to focus on the stuff troubling me. I couldn’t have lunch with a friend without wanting to recount the worries. I felt all consumed by it and it was making me miserable.

Then this little Week of Thanksgiving prompt rolled around and I jumped at it.

Because deep in my heart I know for a fact that happy people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything. Happiness doesn’t find you, you have to find it.

And happiness is all around me.

Today I feel lighter. I’ve spent the last few days looking around me, reminding myself of all the things I’m grateful for, wondering which to write about. I’ve even gotten the kids into the habit of mentioning the things they are grateful for.

I’m grateful for gratitude and the exercise that has shown me that it isn’t all bad and that there’s a much better way to spend my days than wallowing.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Among all these other things I’m grateful to all of you who come here daily to read my words and offer silent or not so silent support. I couldn’t get through this year without all of you.
This is the fourth post in my Week of Thanksgiving hosted by LilKidThings. Join me all week as I feature the things that fills me with gratitude. Click the image below to see what everyone else is grateful for!

Lilkidthings

I’m grateful for… my daughters

standard November 23, 2011 2 responses

Seven years ago today my husband and I started the long drive to Lake Tahoe sometime mid morning, him driving, me sitting next to him clutching my phone in both hands.

I was waiting for the lab to call with my baby’s test results, the ones that would clear up the murky scary results we’d gotten the week before at the screening. I was almost 4 month’s pregnant and anxious to know if this child, this first baby of ours, would be perfectly average or if we’d need to make some serious decisions over the festive weekend.

I’d been told that there was just a slim chance that the results would be ready by the end of the day, but I clung to that hope like a lifeline.

I wanted to revel in the family’s joy over my growing belly. I wanted to relax and just appreciate being pregnant.

The road twisted and turned, and, as we started the climb into the mountain, the sun started to set, and the clock ticked past 5pm I had to accept the fact that I wouldn’t know that day. Wouldn’t in fact know until four days later.

I tucked my worry into a corner of my brain and resolutely focused on enjoying a weekend in the snow.

The next morning I woke up and the belly that I’d relatively easily been able to hide up until that moment had popped out. Overnight I’d gone from being able to keep my potentially “different” child a secret from the world to being very visibly pregnant.

Come what may, I would no longer be able to keep my condition a secret from my coworkers.

At 7am on the Monday after Thanksgiving, the genetic counselor called with the long awaited results. The baby was fine. She was more than fine, in fact, she was genetically perfect. Today she’s a smart, serious, loving 6 year-old. And every Wednesday before Thanksgiving I remember that drive and the intense love and hope I felt for the little blob bobbing around inside me as we traveled.

Two years later, same weekend, same destination, this time as we prepared for the trip home, I was struck by an intense craving for a banana slathered in peanut butter, something I hadn’t desired since I’d been pregnant with C. In that instant I knew, without a shred of doubt, that there was another little one setting up residence in what had once been the womb that kept her sister safe for 9 months.

As we head into Thanksgiving weekend, no travels planned this year, I can’t help but think about how, in my heart, this holiday is intrinsically linked to my daughters. I’m grateful for these two girls, their smiles, their jokes, even their tantrums and bickering.

They are both vibrantly alive and well and color my days with laughter and love.

As we head into our more chaos and uncertainty, I’m once again filled with warmth when I think that, no matter what, the four of us will face it together. The love we have for each other gives me the strength to face it all. This is the third post in my Week of Thanksgiving hosted by LilKidThings. Join me all week as I feature the things that fills me with gratitude. Click the image below to see what everyone else is grateful for!

Lilkidthings

I’m grateful for… laughter

standard November 22, 2011 4 responses

This year I’ve laughed…

through tears.
through kisses.
through sadness.
through solemn moments.

at doctor’s appointments.
at the ER.
at the hospital.
at school.
at Starbucks.

in Zumba class.
in the car.
in bed.
in the kitchen.
in the kids’ room.

I’m the family clown. I can see a reason for humor in pretty much any situation. I know when to deliver the perfect one-liner to lighten up a grim situation. I’m not just doing it for the kicks. I’m not doing it just for the attention. I do it because when I hear laughter, I know that all hope isn’t lost.

As long as we’re still laughing, we can get through anything.

I’m grateful for the laughter.

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It’s day 2 in the Week of Thanksgiving. Pop back tomorrow to see what else I’m thankful for during this rather challenging year. Click the image below to see posts by other bloggers and to join in on the wave of gratitude.

Lilkidthings