Wordless (Wednesday) Magic

standard May 2, 2012 1 response

On Thursday morning I flew to the other side of the country to hang out with my friends at Disney World. One of the speakers at the conference entreated up to spend more time “capturing the moments.” I took his message to heart and for once my camera spent a little time out of my purse. Apparently, however, I was so dazzled by the whole event that apparently I was unable to take more than a handful of clear photos and most of those were of food.

This one? Is my favorite. Yes, even though it’s fuzzy.

Grace Duffy and Kelly Whalen. Last lunch at the Brown Derby!

OK, to be fair I’m partial to this one too. (See how nice and clear that Mikey hat is? That’s talent my friends. Raw photography talent.)

Julie Meyers Pron and Grace Duffy. Heading to dinner and a night of magical fun!

Clearly I need to give up on taking pictures of people. But castles? In the dark? During fireworks? Those photos I rock! (Oh just go with it already.)

Maaaaaaagic.

The park was magical. Spending two days with my friends was pure awesome. But the real magic took place after I got home and it neither required pixie dust or ears, just some sand, sun, and friends.

Look at that! Summer snuck up on us!

Check out some more Wordless Wednesdays! (Down there! Below the linkwithin images.) They might be both more in focus and more wordless than this one!

Out of State Again

standard June 21, 2011 6 responses

I knew my summer was going to include a lot of travel again. I’ve known this for month. It was actually supposed to be worse, with a conference and a Life Coaching seminar each month.

By postponing the coach training until 2012 I’ve pared things down pretty radically, but the travel still looms.

Looms pretty close if you take into account the fact that I leave for North Carolina really early tomorrow morning.

Oh yes. Tomorrow.

I’ve done the laundry. I’ve thought about grocery shopping. I’ve even lined up five days worth of playdates, childcare, and other entertainment.

And I’m still nervous about leaving.

Last year I left at least four times, skipping away to the other side of the country, without thinking twice about it. This year, after the unrest of the last few months, this departure feels momentous and fraught with worry.

I know they’re going to be fine.

I know I have countless friends just standing by, waiting to jump in and help at the mere hint of a request.

I even know I have friends standing by, waiting to jump in whether or not there’s a hint of a request.

And yet it feels so momentous, to take myself out of the equation for five days. I’ve been M’s rock and the family’s glue for two months. I’ve been there at every turn, to watch and step in, to manage everyone’s emotions, needs, hopes, feelings and everything in between.

It’s a good thing for me. I need to go. Need to get back into the groove of work. Network with bloggers and brands. Speak about something that means a lot to me. Remember what it’s like to be Jessica Rosenberg, Professional Blogger, not just Jessica Rosenberg, aka Wife, Mommy, Caregiver.

It’s a good thing for M and the kids. They need me to go. So they can remember that they know how to survive without me.

Our lives haven’t stopped. They’ve just changed course. It’s taken me two months to see that what I thought was a radical transformation, is really just going to be a shift.

I’m no longer scared to lose myself in this change. This trip (and the others planned for later in the summer) are just proof of my determination to make that be true.

These guys are going to be just fine. Now I need to take care of me.

The trip that taught me better

standard June 15, 2011 2 responses

On the map it didn’t look so far, maybe 3, 4 hours tops. The girls and I could handle that easily. And so I bought the tickets.

Instead of flying to North Carolina we’d fly to Washington D.C., rent a car, and, after a night spent with a friend, we’d drive down to the Outer Banks.

I can hear you laughing from over here.

It took us two hours just to get out of D.C. and another 4 to get through Virginia and most of North Carolina.

See, that’s where I made a slight map reading mistake. Instead of being able to hop over to the Outer Banks from the top tip of North Carolina, you have to drive to the very bottom of the state and all the way up the outside of the state. All this with a 2 and 4-year-old in the car.

They were troopers. Amazing passengers. They napped part of the way and sat patiently in their car seats for the rest. I was closer to crying than they ever got.

After an all too brief vacation we had to make the trip back. This time instead of the clock, we raced a hurricane up the coast.

I have no recollection of the trip back down and up through North Carolina and Virginia and just a hazy recollection of the night we spent with a different set of friends.

And then my memory comes into sharp focus.

First there was the flight that was incredibly delayed. Then there was the announcement that no, the flight wasn’t delayed, but instead was leaving from the other end of the airport. Then there was me, toddler under one arm, stroller in front, carry-on precariously balanced on the stroller, and preschooler running beside me. Then there was the three of us arriving, entirely out of breath preschooler in the stroller, bag strapped to my back and toddler on my hip only to learn that, after all, the flight was still delayed, for two hours now.

The new flight was scheduled to arrive in Arizona exactly five minutes after our flight to California was scheduled to leave. And no, because the delay was being caused by a natural occurrence (damn hurricane finally catching up with me) the airline wouldn’t pay for our hotel room.

That’s when I hit my limit. I was tired. I had been responsible for my two kids for a week. I’d been traveling for days and sharing my bed with a squirmy kid – sometimes two – for the entire duration of our trip. I sat on the floor, called my husband, and almost wept.

We watched the sun set over the airport and I did my best to keep the kids from falling asleep on me and when the lovely air steward tried to tell me that families could no longer board early I only growled at him a little. And when the way nicer air hostess told me that she’d make the whole flight stay seated so we could make a mad dash for our next flight I didn’t jump out of my chair to hug her. And I swear that I only shed a tiny tear after we made it to our seats and they slammed the plane door shut behind us.

I haven’t traveled alone with the girls since that day. This summer I’m contemplating it again, but this time I think I’ll plan a little more carefully or at least get a little help.

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Yet another trip without the family

standard September 22, 2010 Leave a response

In April I went to LA. In June I flew to NY. In August I flew back to NY.

Not one of those trips included my family. In each instance I left my kids at home with my husband.

On Thursday morning I’m leaving again. And again I’m leaving them at home. I’m heading to North Carolina to speak at the awesome TypeA Mom Conference. And while I’m very excited to see my bloggy friends again and to meet new ones, I do have to say a huge part of me is dreading going.

It’s not the social anxiety of old. I’ve come a long way since then.

It’s that I’m just tired.

School just started and we’re just barely getting into a routine. I only just started catching my breath and getting back to work on the book. And now I’m leaving again. For five days.

It’s also that I feel like I got to spend precious little time just enjoying my family this summer. We’ve had snatches of great family moments, but they were scattered here and there. I’m ready for a family vacation. The four of us. Together. No work. No routines. No school. Just buckets and sand and endless stretches of time to enjoy each other and relax.

That’s not happening any time soon. Thursday morning I’m rushing both girls to school before heading home and jumping into a cab. I’m going to head to the airport where I’ll once again feel oddly unencumbered as I sail through security, and then I’m going to spend all day on two planes, criss-crossing the country. I’m packing two books, that’s how much free time I’m going to have.

Back in April and June I felt giddy at the mere thought of traveling solo. Even the trip in August felt like a treat. This one feels a bit like a business trip.

I think I might even miss the kids on the flight.