For many reasons, most of which are either irrelevant or downright boring, unlike the majority of my fellow Jews I am not fasting today. I do admit to feeling a bit of guilt this morning, no, not because I was having breakfast, but because I was enjoying it, oh, so much. M was dropping the kids off at daycare and I was blissfully alone. I mean, I even drank hot tea. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a hot cup of morning tea? Yeah, neither do I.
So this morning I sat there on the couch with my trusty laptop on my lap and my steaming cup of tea in my hand catching up with my friends on Twitter and I was oh, so content. And then I realized that maybe being that happy on Yom Kippur was wrong on way too many levels. So I figured that maybe I should find some way to atone for my sins. Which is when I hesitated.
How much have I really sinned this year? Well, OK, if we take a modern look at sinnery I guess I have committed a few…
Say, for instance:
The sin of sloth – when I stumble from the bed to the couch after a night of no sleep, just so I can snooze a bit while the kids watch Diego and Little Einsteins.
The sin of cattiness – when I chuckle as the perfect mom all dressed in white with perfectly manicured nails and picture perfect hair gets her latte spilled on her expensive track suit because her little angel was running around unchecked.
The sin of thievery – but honestly the kids never notice if I snatch a goldfish cracker or two. Promise.
The sin of vanity – when I go change my shirt because it has a massive stain that I hadn’t noticed when I first put it on. Sometimes I trade it for a wrinkled, but spotless shirt.
The sin of coveting – I covet other people’s undisturbed nights of sleep. I lie awake listening to M snore, or Little L cough, and I covet the kind of sleep that bachelors must enjoy.
The sin of gluttony – chocolate, cookies, chocolate, cheese, chocolate. I can’t stop. It’s terrible.
The sin of laziness – when I sit all day on the couch with my sneakers on my feet and yet never get up to go run.
The sin of forgetfulness – when I somehow never remember to put the chicken in the crockpot or the roast in the oven in time for dinner.
The sin of over thinking, over analyzing, over achieving – pretty much every single day.
The sin of doubt – doubting myself, my kids, my husband. Doubting that we can all get through these challenging times successfully.
The sin of being a crappy friend – one who doesn’t call back or email often enough. One who just isn’t there enough.
So yeah, I guess I’ve sinned my fair share. I probably should go atone. But I’m still not fasting. Maybe I’ll go fold laundry or clean the bathroom or something equally distasteful. And next year, honest I’ll try to do better. Try being the operative word here.
To all my Jewish friends, I hope you had a meaningful Yom Kippur.