T’was the Night Before School Starts…

standard August 21, 2013 1 response

T’was the night before school starts, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, except maybe the cat, who was hunting a fly,
The backpacks were hung by the front door on hooks,
Filled with snacks, pencils, and shiny new notebooks.

The children were all snuggled down in their beds,
While visions of desks and recess danced in their heads.
And me in my nighty and daddy in his shorts stomped all our feet,
While planning healthy lunches the children would maybe, hopefully, be willing to eat.

When up on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I ran out the door to see what was the matter.
Off down the drive I sprinted like mad,
To holler at the critters who were being so bad.

The blue moon above, shone brightly down on me,
As the squirrels peered down while laughing with glee.
“Don’t you dare wake the children!” I hissed to the night,
“They need all their sleep or tomorrow’ll be tight.”

Silence once restored I went back to my stove,
To again shake my head at the snack treasure trove.
One will eat sandwiches, the other will not.
One will munch on veggies, which I probably should have bought.

The clock ticked on loudly, a constant reminder,
That, long before I was ready, the sky would turn lighter.
I gave up on lunch ideals and reasoned with fear,
That full bellies mattered, not winning Mom of the Year.

As I trudged up to bed, after doing some laundry,
I bid a fond farewell to long summer days.
After dusting it off I set my alarm,
And heaved a sigh of relief as I lowered my arm.

The morning with it would bring tears and delights,
Breakfast and pictures of all pearly whites.
After driving to school, with tears in their eyes,
The moms will stand there all waving goodbyes.

And then they’ll all turn, as if of one mind,
And they’ll race from the school,
To Starbucks, the gym, or back to their beds,
To savor their first taste of freedom since early in May.

As they hurry away they might hear from behind,
“Happy first day of school! And to all a great year!”

Super Speller

standard December 12, 2011 2 responses

When I was a kid in elementary school I was a “Super” Speller. That’s right, not just super, but “Super,” as though no one in the school would notice the quotes and the capitalization and not instantly know that it was a euphemistic name.

Right now? Totally had to use spell check to spell euphemistic.

To put it simply, I’m a terrible speller. Terrible. I rely heavily on spell check and on that neat little function in Firefox that underlines misspelled words.

I’m not telling you this to give you something new tease me about next time we meet, but rather to put what I’m about to tell you next into context.

Somehow I’ve fallen into a warped reality where I am in fact the family’s de-facto Super Speller. (Note the absence of quotation marks.) 17 million times a day I find myself answering the question “Mommy, how do you spell..?”

Happy.
Car.
Birthday.
Boat.
Helicopter.
Refrigerator.
Airplane. 

Anything and everything. First it was just C, but now Little L has gotten in on the game. Only to them it’s not a game. It’s a super serious thing where they just have to know, right then and there, how things are spelled.

So, the “Super” Speller, over-user of spell check, has been caught in the never ending spelling bee from hell. And yes, they stump me sometimes and I have to mumble the second half of a word. But most often I’m able to spell the words they need.

I grumble and groan internally, but when it leads to things like this, I forgive them for putting me on the spot endlessly.

Little L’s very first note ever.

Back to 80/20 and proud of it

standard September 20, 2011 4 responses

This morning I dropped C off at school wearing a cute black t-shirt, nice tan shorts, and a stunning pink boa tiara.

She’s 6. If she wants to be princess for a day, who am I to stop her?

Three blocks away from the school I finally remembered that it was school picture day.

That’s when I started laughing. Because really? I can’t make this stuff up.

10 days ago I  missed the first day of school. Today I blanked on picture day. I’m officially that mom, the one who loses papers, misses appointments, needs that extra phone call to be reminded about the special event.

Last week I was mortified about having missed the first day of school. Today I’m shrugging it all off and laughing about the tiara.

Seriously. How awesome are those photos going to be?

My kids are fed, clean, rested. C brings with her a well packed (if somewhat unoriginal and uninspired) lunch and snack. We’re working homework into our schedule and I might even get everyone to one of the birthday parties we’ve been invited to this weekend.

So fine, we pull into the school yard at the very last second before being late every day. Fine, I serve a lot of dinners out of the freezer. And yes, I’m skating by on about a million other things. But whatever. I’m pretty sure I’m not being graded on what my house looks like.

Two mornings ago, as I bustled around putting together C’s lunch and figuring out what the girls would wear, all while snatching quick sips of my rapidly cooling tea, C looked up from the breakfast table where she sat with Little L and M.

“I think we have the best family in the whole world.” She said in a quiet, very satisfied voice.

We’d just been talking about our day and making jokes. There had been kisses and hugs and it was just a low key, easy morning. It wasn’t anything special or memorable. It just felt like home. Like love.

The floors are sticky and I keep forgetting important dates, but as long as the people who matter are happy, I’m fine with how we’re doing. I’m eschewing perfection and embracing the 80/20 rule.

I can’t wait to see the school photo of C with her tiara and Girls Rock t-shirt. It might be the only school photo I ever get framed.

Created by Simply Designing, inspired by a Catching Fireflies creation.

A Rainforest and a Giveaway

standard May 5, 2011 528 responses
Back in the days when I was very much a newbie mom, before C had taken her first steps or uttered her first words, before we knew she had asthma and I’d become an expert in all things cough related, I made the funniest gaff of my parenting career.
It’s a little sad that I peaked so early, but when you go big, it’s hard to top yourself later when you set the bar so high.
My little baby, who looked so small in her big crib, had a cough. And as we all know, you can’t give cough syrup to babies. So, to avoid standing in the shower steam with her all night, I did the next best thing.
I bought her a humidifier for her room.
Well, first I went to the drugstore and stared at the humidifiers in utter consternation.
Do you know how many kinds there are? Do you know how unhelpful drugstore clerks can be?
Hot air, cold air? Fine mist? With Vapo action?
What did I know?
The hot steam one caught my eye, and, assuming that since the shower steam was good, hot steam had to be good too, I snagged it. Plus, it was all serious looking, unlike all the cute animal ones on the shelf next to it, which looked like they clearly were just for show.
I brought the thing home and low and behold, the baby slept and didn’t cough.
The next day I patted myself on the back heartily and congratulated myself on navigating another tricky parenting moment expertly. (I told you I was a newb.)
That night I plugged the humidifier in again and headed to my room for another night of great sleep.

(Who laughed? Was that you in the back? Do you know this story already?)
In the wee hours of the morning the baby screamed. Not a hurt scream, an angry scream. A really, really pissed off baby scream. By the time I got to her room she was back asleep. I shrugged it off and went back to bed.
She screamed again.
I hurried back, wondering what could possibly be wrong. Once again, she was sleeping like an angel.
And then, as I watched her sleep sweetly, breathing in the healing warm steam, I felt it.
SPLAT.
A big, fat, freezing cold drop of water. On my face. That almost made me scream.
I looked up at the ceiling and saw, hundreds of sister drops of water, pearling and gently reflecting the hallway light, just waiting to rain down on my unsuspecting innocent baby.
My hot steam humidifier had turned her room into a rainforest.
She slept in our bed that night and, after cleaning off the ceiling, the next day I returned the humidifier. This time I read the reviews online and got the cutest little frog Crane humidifier. Cool mist. Guaranteed to not turn the nursery into a tropical land.
And now, when I’m at Target or the drugstore and I see a young mom looking at all the options with that confused look on their face, I steer her to the Crane humidifiers. It’s my way of atoning for my first blooper.
********************
Crane is one of the awesome All About the Bump Month sponsors and if you’d like to get one of these magic humidifiers for yourself read on!

The wonderful sponsors of Bump Month have given us a number of awesome Bump Basket to give away. This giveaway the ultimate win for any pregnant or new mom.  The collective value of Bump Basket items exceeds $1,200! 
….and a very special gift from our platinum sponsor, Zulily!  
TO ENTER: Leave a comment sharing a blooper or funny parenting moment that you’ve had or you imagine you will have. Be sure to include your email for your entry to be valid!
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Fine print: One winner will be randomly selected by Random.org on Monday, May 30 and contacted via email or Twitter.  If winner comment does not meet the aforementioned criteria by containing the necessary contact information, another winner will be selected.  Winner must provide name and US mailing address for direct shipment of products within 24 hours of being contacted or an alternate winner will be selected.  Jessica Rosenberg, Splash Creative Media, and Bump Month sponsors are not responsible for items lost or delayed in shipping. 
This post is apart of a series of posts inspired and sponsored by “All about the Bump Month.”  To visit our sponsor page please click here.