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Friday Flasback – The eve of a major life change

standard May 15, 2009 4 responses

Four years ago today I had a different blog, a different life, and no kids… yet. It didn’t take long for all of that to change. This week’s Friday Flashback, created in an effort to breathe new life into my favorite posts from my archives, spans both time, blogs, and blogging platforms. This post was originally published in May 2005 on my old blog where you can see my humble beginnings as a blogger, a writer, and a knitter!

All goals reached

Contrary to what everyone thought, I actually accomplished everything that I said I would. I worked up to my due date, worked through the two events that took place on my due date weekend, finished teaching both of my religious school classes… unbelievable. And now? Mark’s last final is in three hours and it’s looking like we are going to make it through that too! But not much further!

I’m feeling crampy and sore, the only question is whether I’ll go into full blown labor on my own or whether I’ll make it to my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. At 11 in the morning they are inserting the Prostaglandin Gel in the hopes of ripening my cervix some more. If that doesn’t start labor we go in on Wednesday for the Pitocin drip… One way or another we’re having a baby sometime before Thursday.

Pretty terrifying on the whole. This is my first day off of work and I have to say that it’s making it more and more real by the minute. Everyone seems so sure that I’m going to be great at this whole motherhood thing. But I don’t know. I’m heading into foreign territory and I don’t know what to expect. I don’t do so good with the whole unknown thing. So cross your fingers for me. I’m going to need all the help I can get.

See you all on the other side….

There’s a new kid on the block

standard December 12, 2008 2 responses

Our very closest friends, the ones we spend every weekend with, and share pretty much everything with, had a baby yesterday. A wee little girl. A wee adorable, bundle of smushie goodness.

Meet M.J. – The new kid on this block.
Come on, don’t those cheeks just beg to be smooched?

Seeing my friend in her hospital bed with her new baby has brought back a flood of memories and feelings. Only it’s like looking down the lens of a reverse telescope. There was so much angst and confusion during those first days. People with advice, each one with something different to say. And there was this tiny baby who was so small and fragile, and helpless. And everyone expects you to listen to all that advice and condense it and overnight become an expert, a mom.

And yet there’s this delicious little baby, who is so soft and tiny and who fits so perfectly in the crook of your arm, who snuggles so sweetly into your neck, and you wish you could stay forever in that safe hospital room where the nice nurses change the sheets and bring you food whenever you want it, and just keep cuddling and trying to figure out how that baby came from inside you.

I look at her and her husband and I recognize the movements, the looks, and the worry. I was in their shoes at one point. I can see myself in a similar bed, with a similarly swaddled baby, and the same fears and uncertainties. Then I can see myself in that same bed two years later, with another swaddled baby and fewer uncertainties, and I remember how wonderful it was to be able to enjoy those first few days without the fear and confusion.

I wish I could compress all my knowledge and experience and inject it into them so they would see that it’s all going to be just fine. That how to swaddle is less important than just doing it, or that what you feed is less crucial than just feeding. I wish I could do more than just stand to the side and offer snippets of advice.

But the road is sweetest when you find your own way. And while I’m happy to jump in to help whenever they ask, I can’t wait to see them become the amazing parents I know they will be.

Welcome to the world little M.J. You got yourself some kick ass parents and a slew of people who can’t wait to get to know you!

Original It’s my life… post.