Two kids 13 years ago

standard August 23, 2012 12 responses

Look at these kids. Look at how sweet they look with their crazy hair. Heck, just look at how young they are and ignore the crazy hair.

Oy. the hair…

They just met last week, or maybe two weeks before that. They’ve already fallen head-over-heels in love with each other. That happened the day they met. In fact she’s just decided to move to Boston to be with him.

Just look at how relaxed and happy they are in that photo. They don’t know anything about what the future holds for them. They have no idea that in a year they’ll be living in Paris, that at the end of that year two planes will fly into the Twin Towers and change the world forever. They don’t know that they will come home to a changed country with no jobs waiting for them. They’ll spend a year temping and trying to find work before giving up on their respective career aspirations and moving on to other things.

Those two kids don’t know that three years after this photo is taken they’ll be married on a hot, hot August day (ten years ago this Sunday) at the top of a mountain overlooking the Bay Area. She can’t even fathom what that might look like; she’s never even been to California. Little does she know that one day she’ll call it home.

They also don’t know that three years after the wedding they’ll have a baby girl and two years after that they’ll have another. Or that by then she’ll have finally figured out what she wants to do with her life or that he’ll be a successful attorney.

Nor do they know that along the way they’ll face hardships they can’t even conceive of. Autoimmune disorders at the top of a long list of more run-of-the-mill challenges.

Most astounding in hindsight is that they don’t know that through all those things they’ll never fall out of love. Instead they’ll grow more fond of each other as each year waxes and wanes and what, on that day, feels like infatuation will grow into a deep, true love that binds them tightly together, making them an invincible team tough enough to weather any of those storms that come their way. It seems crazy that they wouldn’t know this, that they wouldn’t have divined it.

But no, right now they know none of this. They’re just feeling goofy. Their friends are about to break out a bottle of Bailey’s to see how it tastes mixed with Frosties (the cereal, not the frozen treat, though at some point in the evening ice cream will make its way into the mix). Right now, as that photo is being taken, they’re just two kids who thought they were going to have a one-night stand and haven’t yet realized that instead they lucked out by finding the most amazing teammate and life partner they could have ever imagined.

Love in the kitchen and everywhere

standard February 2, 2010 10 responses

“Are you kissing again?” C whines from the table as M grabs me around the waist and hugs me tight, planting a tender kiss on my lips. I peer around his head at her and wink.

“Yup, we’re kissing again. And we’re going to do it again and again!” I tease. C pretends to gag and Little L echoes while M and I kiss again.

This is a common occurrence in our kitchen. In fact it happens daily. The kissing and hugging at least, not always the gagging. That just depends on the mood of the peanut gallery.

I’m a strong believer in kissing, hugging, holding hands in front of my children. Nothing lewd or inappropriate. Just tenderness and love really. There’s no doubt in my mind that it’s up to us to model what a loving functional relationship should look like.

I would love for them to head into life knowing that when people love each other they don’t just treat each other with respect, listening when the other talks, speaking nicely to each other, and doing kind things for each other, but that they also take time to really show each other that affection through kisses, hugs, and tender gestures of love. Every day. Not just for special occasions.

So M and I don’t hide behind closed doors to hug and kiss. We hold hands in public and in the car. And we actually talk in front of our children. It might not seem like much, but it’s not something I saw often growing up. Not in my home or my friend’s homes. And really, I wish I had. Maybe I would have more easily recognized how emotionally abusive my first boyfriend turned out to be. 

Come Valentine’s Day I can guarantee that there won’t be cards, chocolates, flowers, or even a fancy dinner in a swanky restaurant. There will just be more love, more kisses, more hugs, and more every day tenderness, for me, for M, and for both girls. When you get love every day you don’t need a special holiday to celebrate it.

Sleep interrupted

standard October 29, 2009 4 responses

It’s early, really early. The birds haven’t even started up their daily cacophony outside our window. I’m sleeping the really deep sleep of someone who went to bed way too late and knows that she has to sleep hard because she isn’t going to sleep long.

Little L’s cry roused me partially and I listened out to see if she was just crying out in her sleep. She cried out again and coughed. I listened more closely. She coughed again, harder, and I dragged myself out of bed. I’m still sleepy and I keep my eyes at half mast. If I can get through this interruption without waking up all the way it’ll be that much easier to slide right back into sleep.

Once in the girls’ darkened room I make my way to Little L’s crib where I find her sitting up, looking confused. I hand her a sippy cup of water which she grabs. She gulps at the water and holds the cup out vaguely in my direction. Her head is drooping; she’s as awake as I am.

“Hey babe, let me change your diaper, then you can go back to sleep,” I murmur. She nods sleepily and lies down without complaint. I quickly change her and zip her back up. Long before I’m done her eyes slide shut, and she barely notices when I tuck her blanket snuggly around her.

“Sleep tight,” I whisper as I tiptoe back to the door. I’m still drowsy, another moment and I’ll be back in bed.

“Mama?” Her sleepy voice calls from the crib. I pause, holding my breath. If I stay up much longer I won’t be able to go back to sleep.

“Yes, babe?”

“Mama, I wuv you.”

I smile and slip out of her room. I rarely get to sleep through the night, but sometimes there’s more to life than sleep.

Happy Love Thursday everyone. May your nights always be filled with love.

Flesh and blood beats paper any day

standard October 16, 2009 5 responses

I read the first Diana Gabaldon Outlander series book long before I knew the series was popular. In fact it was so long ago it might even have been before they were popular. I don’t know. I didn’t care. All that I cared about was that I had found the perfect man.

He was tough and tender. He was buff and good looking. He was smart and literate, but spoke with a sexy accent. He was exactly the kind of guy I dreamed would swoop in and take me away, making me feel petite and safe all at the same time.

That he was nothing more than a character in a book was completely and utterly besides the point.

A million years or so later I have just started reading the 7th volume in the series, An Echo in the Bone. I was so excited to get this book. Not just because I was going to finally find out the continuation of the story, but because I was going to get to be reunited with my beloved Jamie again.

Oh, Jamie.

But 100 or so pages in I realized that he just wasn’t making my heart throb quite as much any more. Was it that he had aged? Was it that I had aged? I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

A gentle snore pulled me out of my contemplation and back into my bedroom. I glanced down at M sleeping soundly besides me and I smiled.

Jamie doesn’t make my heart race any more because someone else does. I don’t need to fantasize over the perfect man, I’ve found him.

He may not be Scottish and covered in scars. He might never have fought wars in the Highlands or been a pioneer in 18th Century America. But he’s tough and tender, he’s definitely buff and good looking, and even though he doesn’t speak in a sexy Scottish accent, he’s unquestioningly smart and literate. And he’s so much more than that in every way possible.

Who needs a two dimensional dream man when a flesh and blood three dimensional one shares your bed and your life?

Happy Love Thursday everyone.