18 Signs You Might Be a Blogger…

standard July 14, 2011 33 responses

Two blog conferences down and one to go… Bloggers are an interesting crowd; one that inspired the following list.

You might be a blogger if…

  1. You use the words “snarky” or “kwim” in real sentences.
  2. You coin words like “blama” (blogger drama) and think nothing of the fact that no one knows what you’re talking about.
  3. You never take a bite before snapping a picture of your food. 
  4. You converse and think in 140 character increments.
  5. You mentally write a blog post about everything you do or see. 
  6. You expect people to give you free stuff just for showing up.
  7. You’re often tempted to scream “Do you know who I AM?!” when things don’t go your way. 
  8. You think nothing of having a laptop, iPad, and smart phone open and running at the same time. 
  9. You know where every outlet is located at all times. 
  10. You introduce yourself with two names – your “real” name and your twitter handle – and don’t really expect anyone to recognize the first one. 
  11. You know more about your friends in the computer than the ones in the carpool lane.
  12. Your friends are scattered around the globe and you’ve met fewer than a handful in real life.
  13. You snap photos of your baby doing disgusting or dangerous things before running to her rescue.
  14. You’re part of a top secret Facebook group, Stumble community, or Skype chat room.
  15. You’re the “mayor” of every business in your town.”
  16. Your Twitter followers know you’re pregnant, engaged, or getting divorced before your family or friends.
  17. You’ve officially out-geeked even the geekest of your middle-school friends and know how to code your own site.
  18. You have another 10 things to add to this list. (Go on, add them in the comments!)

    (Thank you to the awesome Shannan Powell for helping me compile this list. And to all of you for giving me the examples.)

    The difference between men and women

    standard March 2, 2011 15 responses

    Men and women are different. No doubt about it. And the standing joke is that guys will never understand women, but really, it’s equally challenging to understand men.

    So here is my very simple explanation that will shed some light on the issue.

    Picture a closet.

    Savvy Sassy Closet!

    You open the doors and you see clothes hanging, you see sweaters folded, you see shoes neatly lined up. (This is assuming you are not opening my closet. In fact, never open my closet. We don’t have enough insurance to cover you getting hit in the head with something.)

    Everything is on display so that you can decide what to wear and how to accessorize without having to open a million drawers.

    That’s how a woman’s head works. All aspects of her life are on display at all times. Kids, work, home, husbands, friends. It’s all there, visible at all times. This is why a woman can totally be “in the moment” doing something (wink, wink) and still know that there’s not enough milk in the fridge for breakfast.

    While a mom is at work she can still process information about school or doctor’s appointments, or even plans for date night.

    While a woman is at home she can be cooking dinner, doing the laundry, and thinking about a nagging work project.

    Women have multi-tasking brains. 

    Now picture a filing cabinet. 

    Each drawer is clearly labeled “Work,” “Home,” “Kids,” “Buddies,” “Significant other.”

    Know what’s special about filing cabinets? Only one drawer can be open at a time.

    That’s exactly how a man’s brain works.

    When he goes to work, he opens the “work” drawer and all the others remain tightly closed. When he’s at work he’s at work, it’s not that he doesn’t remember to make the doctor’s appointment, it’s that the doctor’s appointment info is in the home drawer and that drawer is closed.

    When he’s with his buddies, the “buddies” drawer is open. He’s with his buddies, so he’s not thinking about the milk or the diapers you asked him to pick up on the way. He’s not going to think of those until he pushes open the house door and slides open the “home” drawer.

    Men have mono-tasking brains.

    You can argue that these fundamental differences date way back to when men hunted and needed to be 100% present in the hunt so they could survive and women just gathered so they could be thinking of many things at once.

    Whatever the reason, doesn’t matter, fact is, you cannot expect people to be who they aren’t. So getting mad at a guy for not remembering that preschool ended early today or to grab some dish-detergent on his way home from soccer practice is fruitless.

    Setting calendar reminders that will ping and force the home drawer open while he’s at work or placing strategic post-its on his steering wheel to open the drawer early – that’s how you can be sure he’s going to be where you want him to be when you need him to be there.

    And before you ask, I haven’t yet found the solution to getting him to pick up his socks. Sorry. The closet analogy only goes so far. You’re on your own for the rest.

    On top of the calendar, in theory

    standard February 28, 2011 1 response

    I really felt like I had take control. Control of the chaos, the schedule, the where-to-be’s and what-to-do’s. Between the wall calendar in the kitchen, my phone calendar app, and my planner, I have it all pretty well sussed.

    Or so I thought.

    Last week a friend sent me a Facebook message saying she was coming into town and could we see each other.

    “Sure! Come over for crepes! Saturday at noon! It’s our tradition.”

    Of course I had forgotten that this coming Saturday I had broken the sacred no-birthday party commandment and RSVPd to not one, but two on that day, and that there’s no way we’ll be home at noon. WHOOPS.

    Really, one slip up? I can hear you ready to poopoo me and my calendaring snafu.

    This morning I realized I’d scheduled coffee for myself and a new friend. Once again leading with “I’m always there! It’s my morning routine!” Except tomorrow is the rescheduled snow day at the preschool. Instead of sipping warm coffee, I’ll be shoveling cold snow. Whooops again!

    But don’t worry. I think I’ve figured out the problem.

    The planner only works if you open it.

    The only question is, where am I supposed to write the reminder to open the planner?

    Odd cat diet

    standard October 29, 2010 3 responses

    I recently heard that cats imprint what constitutes acceptable food at a very early age. In order to get your cat to eat lots of different foods and not turn its nose up at anything but the one can of cat food he’s always eaten, you need to present a ton of different options.

    Kind of like feeding a toddler.

    When we welcomed the still nameless cat into our home I ordered a bunch of all-natural kitten food and started feeding him scraps of this and that.

    Seems I shouldn’t have worried. Whoever fed him for the first ten months of his life did a great job at varying his diet. He has a broad notion of what constitutes acceptable food for a cat.

    Yeah, that’s a waffle. Buttermilk if you must know, Safeway brand. He usually prefers them with peanut butter, but he’ll take them plain too. No breakfast is safe around this cat. Neither is any chocolate. The mere smell makes him frantic to get some. I think he made out with a chocolate bar wrapper last week.

    And I thought our last cat was odd.