I had all these grand plans for the summer. I was going to get up at 6:30 to go for a walk/run with the dog before M left for work. I was going to write, write, write, write. So much writing. So many goals. I was going to get my office and myself organized. I was going to go on day trip adventures with the girls.
I had Plans. With a capital P.
I totally felt like having the kids (and the puppy) at home wouldn’t be a hindrance. Instead they would help me stay on track!
Ha. Ha. Double Ha.
They might well be 9 and almost 7. They might well be relatively self sufficient. They might even be more than happy to play somewhere far from my supervisory eye. They’re still there. They still talk, and play, and quibble, and need, need, need.
They might not be in the office with me (most of the time), but their chatter and their singing (oh yes… so much singing) is pervasive and makes it so very hard to get into The Zone. When I do, somehow, manage to get into that elusive productive space, they somehow need something important. You know. Like lunch. Needy little ones.
There’s no winning.
As for the getting up early to walk? Who was I kidding? No, really, was anyone fooled by that declaration? (Even if I did only make it in my head?) Summers are for sleeping in! Duh.
A smart mom would throw in the towel and not even try. A smart mom would put off all of these lofty goals and just relax and enjoy her kids for the next few weeks.
But I am not a smart mom. I am a pig headed mom who wants it all. And who really feels the need to scrape together a few dollars to help the family finances as best as she can.
And frankly, I think the kids deserve a summer where I’m not hovering over their shoulders every second of every day. They SHOULD get to make a mess of their bedrooms, the living room, the kitchen, and the bathrooms. They SHOULD get to use the swing in any creative way that makes sense to them without me cringing and wondering how much the ER visit will run.
So I’m going to keep spending my mornings and some of my afternoons sitting at my desk, trying to find my calm writing center, trying to get in touch with my muses, trying to ignore the kids. And when the noise gets to be too much, we’ll duck out and go to swim team practice, or hunt down some fun summer activities and a stray ice cream or two before coming home to try to tame the mess so daddy never has to know just how bad it can get.
I’m sure I’ll get used to having them be home non stop just a few days before school starts.