When I was a teen my sister was ill, really ill, and for a long time we lived in that state of limbo that’s filled with doctors’ appointments, hospital visits, and waiting. Always with the waiting. Waiting for results, for healing, for tests, for everything.
I was old enough to be home on my own and my parents, rightfully preoccupied with my baby sister’s health, left me to my own devices a lot those months.
I’m no rebel so basically what that meant was that I’d wake up, go to school, go to my after school activities, come home, walk the dogs, and spend the rest of the evening sitting on the couch blasting Vivaldi on the stereo.
Four Seasons: Winter. On a loop. (Yes. I’m a dork. Now you know.)
All I remember is sitting there, letting the music wash over me, wishing that life were really like the movies. You know? That fast paced sequence when the music speeds up and the scenes start flashing by?
It never did though. In life you have to go through each and every day. There’s no whizzing through the slow bits of the story. No learning a foreign language over the course of one soon-to-be-a-hit pop tune. No magical healing over the course of a pretty video montage.
These last two months I’ve desperately wanted to speed time up again. To a place where had answers and solutions. To a place where we were once again in control of our lives.
Last week M and I played hooky for an evening. We took the kids to their grandparents who had agreed to watch them under the assumption that we’d be going to see something artsy and educational.
Instead we went to see X-Men First Class, which was made of awesome.
I desperately wanted to love it. (I’m a comic book movie junkie.) But once I let myself fall into the plot and the special effects I found that I truly was loving it.
It was everything my life isn’t. Fantastic in every way. (Fantastic as in made up of fantasy, just so we’re clear.)
For two brief hours I suspended reality and lived in a world where people can fly, hear other people’s thoughts, change on a whim. The plot was amazingly well acted, but since it was a prequel, the end was predictable to a point. And yet, it still managed to surprise and delight me.
Not everyone who is evil is really evil. Not everyone who is good is really good. And sometimes even when you fulfill what’s been written, it doesn’t have to be the way everyone assumed it would be.
My little sister defied the odds and has grown to be a most inspiring and incredible person who runs three day long relay races and marathons when she’s not working as a nurse and studying to be a nurse practitioner.
We made it through the slow painful times without the benefit of movie effects and we didn’t let the script dictate how the story would end.
We’re going to do it again. Only this time I’m going to try not to wish away the in between time. There are memories to be made while we wait for the answers and the solutions. There are lives to be lived. It would be a shame to wish away the good at the same time as the challenging parts of it all.
After all, sometimes it’s the fast paced movie sequence that I remember best of all long after the movie has ended.