Things they never told you: Another BumpMonth Tale

standard May 23, 2011 4 responses

There are millions of baby books out there. Half of them are gathering dust on my bookshelf. They cover all the basics – how to diaper, what to feed, how to burp… They miss an awful lot though.

I already wrote a bunch about the dirty truths no one tells new moms. But there are so many other things no one tells you before you go and get knocked up…

No one tells you that some kids are bad sleepers. End of story. And that you might still not be sleeping consistently through the night when they’re almost four.

No one tells you that your kid might have a radically different personality from yours and that you’ll have to learn to speak her language instead of yelling in yours.

No one really tells you that your kids are going to have radically different personalities from each other, and that one will be easier for you to comprehend than the other. Not that you love anyone less, just that one is… easier, even if she’s the one who tortures you with no sleep.

No one tells you how hard it is to find the right school (preschool or elementary!) for these children who are so very different.

No one tells you how much your priorities will change. A weekend playing High Ho Cherry-o becomes a joy instead of a chore.Who would have thought that playing board games around a slightly sticky kitchen table would be the best part of a weekend? Especially when they laugh with you.

No one tells you that you’re one day going to drain pus from your kid’s mouth, or that after you’re going to have to call the dentist because you just know a tooth affected by an abscess that big and that gross is going to have to be pulled.

No one tells you that knowing that your baby’s tooth is going to be pulled will hurt you more than it will her.

No one tells you about the million little things you’re going to want to shield your children from and not knowing which ones will make them stronger and which ones will really hurt them.

No one tells you how hard it is to “coach” from the guidelines instead of marching in and dealing with stuff yourself.

No one tells you how your heart swells when your coaching pays off and your child works through her issues herself. The pride written on her face is worth all the anguish in your heart.

I’ve often heard that when you become a parent your heart starts walking around outside of you. I never realized how true this was.

This parenting gig is both the hardest thing I’ve ever done and the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced. I learn and grow alongside them. But that, they did tell me. I just had to experience it for myself.

Bump Month is almost over! In case you hadn’t noticed yet, 8 bloggers and I have teamed up to spend a whole month talking about moms and babies. We’re sharing stories and wonderful companies who help us make it all look easy and fun. Be sure to enter the killer giveaway where you can earn a basket worth $1200! Read the things the other Bump Bloggers didn’t know here.

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4 responses

  • A little later in your journey as a mother you realize no one told you how extremely difficult it is to allow your child to grow up, to sever those ties that bind you to him, to let him make his own mistakes and learn his own lessons, and that all these things will cause pain and grief. We all want our kids to grow up to be responsible adults, we just don’t realize how it will change us just as much as having a baby changed us.

  • Beautiful Jess. I think there is so much no one tells you because you have to live it to understand.

  • These are great. Do you think if anyone had told us these before we had kids we would have actually bothered to listen?
    I reckon it is all a conspiracy theory.
    And sometimes I believe that is harder for us than it was for the generation before us. Maybe that is why they never said anything.

  • Wow, you really got so many of the truths that we only discover along the way. Why didn’t anyone, any book tell us about these, because they are the some of the most challenging (and amazing) parts of being a mom. I love this post! Thank you!!

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