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Stepping into myself at the old yoga studio

standard March 8, 2011 3 responses

A few weeks ago I looked up the schedule for my old yoga studio. The chaos inside my head was begging to be tamed despite the insane schedule that I’m keeping.

Miraculously there was a class on Mondays at 9:15.

Had it been 9 I would have shrugged and told myself I couldn’t make it. Had it been 10 I would have told myself it would take up too much of my morning. But 9:15 smacked of perfectly doable.

The first Monday was a holiday.

The next Monday I genuinely forgot.

And then, this morning, after showering and getting dressed, I realized that there was nothing keeping me from going today. I tried talking myself out of it. Egmos tried too. But there really was no good reason not to go and plenty of great ones in favor of packing up my yoga mat and going.

In my mind I do yoga regularly. If you asked me about my hobbies, I’d probably list yoga and then pat myself on the back for being such a healthy person. Which is why I was so shocked to pull up in front of the yoga studio and find… nothing. As in, nothing at all. Big gaping hole in the earth where the studio had stood.

I searched online and found the place a mere block away and was further shocked to learn that they had moved three years ago. So much for regular yoga. As for my last visit to the studio? 2006. Not exactly yesterday.

Granted, I’ve done yoga other places since, but if I’m brutally honest — and my shrieking thighs, hips, and arms are corroborating — I haven’t sunk into downward dog since Little L was 6 months old… back in 2007.

This morning I left my phone in the car, walked away from Facebook, Twitter, email, and everything else that tethers me to work and everything that fills my brain day in and day out. I spread my mat on the hardwood floor and folded the woven blanket carefully. I sat and mindfully balanced my hips and my shoulders. Then I closed my eyes and started listening to my breath.

My mind settled down and turned inward for the first time in weeks.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that once or twice I almost reached for my absent phone, but by the end of the class the itch had faded and I felt more relaxed and balanced than I had in days.

Of course, now I just feel sore, but it was worth it even for just those moments of peace. Next Monday I’ll be back on that mat, breathing slowly and evenly, and trying again to remember that my email can wait, that the internet can function without me. And maybe the Monday after that it’ll be even easier.

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3 responses

  • Soooo happy for you, Jessica! Good for you for going, amid everything else you’re doing, and giving your body this treat.

    After being away from a serious yoga practice for 10 yrs, I went back to the mat 10 wks ago. Going steadily 3x a week, occasionally 2, at wonderful studio. I’m thrilled to be back.

    Now I’ll smile on Mondays, knowing you’re going, too!

  • Kudos for going to class and for setting the intention to do it regularly. I resonated with how it brought you back inside and helped you feel grounded.

  • Hooray for you! I got back on the mat in September at Ashtanga Yoga Paris, and haven’t felt this good in years…of course the trip to Texas rather got me off the schedule, but for a good cause, right? Go, Downward Dogs! xx ellise

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