Being away

standard January 17, 2011 9 responses

Our weekday routine is down pat.

I get up at 6:15 on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, 6am on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I shower and have breakfast. At 7 the girls roll out of bed and head to the kitchen for breakfast, which I feed them while prepping C’s lunch, getting their clothes ready, and finishing my tea.

M eats with the girls and helps me get them dressed, then, while I’m brushing their hair he kisses us all goodbye and heads off to work. Shortly after I load the girls into the car and start the long morning commute.

I drop one off in one town, head 20 minutes away to drop the other off, then I head to Starbucks for my morning coffee and to get my own day started.

At 5:15 I retrace my steps, dashing from work to pick up Little L. As I’m hurrying to daycare M is making his way to C’s school to pick her up. We meet up at home around 6pm — just in time to feed the girls and get them ready for bed.

On nights when M can’t pick C up, I have to go from daycare to the school and then back south to our home. We get there around 6:45, making the evening a tad more challenging, but doable nonetheless.

When I go out of town things get a bit more hairy.

To get both girls to school and daycare on time, M has to be late for work. While L can be dropped off early, there is no early care for C. 8:30 is the earliest she can be dropped off, meaning there’s no way for M to be at work before 9. And in order to be at daycare by 5:30, he has to leave work by 4:45, which makes for a very short work day. Not ideal for those lawyer types.

Once in a while when I have to be out of town for a conference or a work trip we make it work. We call in help — relying on family and friends to collect one child while M is picking up the other. It works for a day here or a day there, but it’s not something we like doing often.

It’s looking like we’re going to have to get used to it. 

The Life Coach program that I want to attend is located in Sacramento, about a two hour drive from here. There are four three day seminars that have to be taken on site. Add to that a blog conference or two — key if I want to make a name for myself as a social media career coach — and now we’re talking 6 trips, 6 times when I really throw my family’s routine for a loop.

It’s the constant struggle that moms face. My dreams and aspirations versus the good of the family. 

We’ll plan, we’ll get help, we’ll prep the girls and make it work. It won’t be easy, but it won’t be the end of the world either. And in the end it’ll be well worth it.

I’ll get to spend at least 12 uninterupted nights in a hotel room.

I mean… I’ll have a career that allows me to be both fulfilled and the kind of mom I aspire to be. Ahem. Right. That’s totally why it’s worth it.

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9 responses

  • As a mom, we make so many sacrifices in our own personal lives so our kids get our best. As a wife whose husband is the breadwinner, we make sacrifices to our personal goals and choices so he’s not overwhelmed at home.

    But then what happens to us? We need an identity separate from them. We need to know that our needs matter too. Our goals and dreams aren’t just for vision boards and journals.

    Sure, the daily routine gets mixed up a bit. But in the grand scheme of things will it really be horrible if the kids eat cereal for all 3 meals or wear clothes to bed?

    Being in CA staying in our 1-bedroom condo is a huge change of routine from our 4-bedroom AZ home. The tiny kitchen doesn’t have what I’m used to. However, we made it work for 3 people. We ate things we normally don’t eat and ate in front of the TV, something we never do at home. You know what? We’re all happy and had a great time.

    12 days out of 365 might be a lot if they’re all in a row. But a few days here and there so you can maintain your personal identity is priceless.

  • Good for you – for making it work and for going for your dreams! It will all be worth it. Especially those 12 peaceful nights!

  • Wow! That’s some routine! I get tired just reading it! We rely on friends a lot when I go out of town. I usually go one 4 day trip every other month. It really helps that my husband is a teacher. The pay is not that great, but he can be available when they are out of school.

  • I have faced the same dilemmas. For years and years, I put everything off to be a stay at home mom. Now that I am following my own career path of sorts, both as a photographer and as a blogger, I have photo shoots and many events and conferences that pull me away. My husband has been very supportive and accomodating, but now he has a new job which will be much less flexible. I hope we can still make it work, because we don’t have family around!

  • It has been very good for our family that I travel for work.
    a) my kids miss me & we don’t fight anymore
    b) I miss my kids & I have more patience with them & we don’t fight anymore
    c) they have one on one time with their dad & love it
    d) my kids see me as a role model & are very proud of me & they want to become entrepreneurs too & travel the world
    f) my husband appreciates me more & I appreciate him more – we have seen the life better through each other’s eyes
    g) I have become more flexible & kids have become more independent – things are not always done MY way, but it’s a good thing

    I say go for it!

  • For years I got up at 4:30am to go to my son’s home and wait until our 2 grandchildren got up for school, then took them to school. At 3:00pm I would go to school, pick them up, bring them home until their Dad got out of work around 6:00pm.

    Without my handy keurig b30 coffee maker to have a cup of joe ready to go I never could have made it.

    Thankfully I don’t do the am stuff any more, just the afternoon gig.

    Penny

  • You look like you have things handled…. I love your organization. I am so lost.

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