The vanishing belly

standard April 26, 2010 6 responses

Four years and change ago C was all belly. All belly and sweet cherubic rolls of fat. For the first four weeks of her life she was a skinny little thing, then overnight she chubbed out.

I was the cutest thing ever.

I’m not sure how, but until last week I hadn’t really noticed that she has shed most of that baby fat, growing into a lithe beautiful little girl. I can at times spot a trace of her toddler self in the dimples on the back of her fists or in the roundness of her cheek, reddened after a nap. For the rest, she’s all little girl.

It makes me sad at times to realize that I can’t stop time, hold her back. She starts Kindergarten in the fall, and while that’s still for little ones, I know that middle school and then high school are just a hop, skip, and a jump away from that.

I see her bright smile and trusting eyes and I want to hurt the first person who will break her heart. I want to shield her from all the harshness and unfairness of the world because I know how trusting and loving she is. I don’t want her to ever see the ugly before the beautiful. I want her to always see the good in people, to believe that anything is possible, to trust that being happy is all that matters.

Yesterday she slipped on a two piece bathing suit which I had thought would be cute with all its ruffles and bows. She posed for me and I froze. It wasn’t one of those cute toddler bikinis, showing tons of adorable baby belly and baby fat. It was… a bikini, that looked like a bikini, and it made me want to rush out to the store to buy her a slew of one piece suits to keep her a bit more covered up for the summer.

I’m glad I didn’t ask her to take it off though.

Because as I slathered on the sunscreen I had to cover that bare belly and under my hand it was still rounded and soft and felt exactly like that infant belly that I so lovingly coated in lotion after her bath.

She’s tall, she’s lanky, she reasons, analyzes, and questions like an elementary schoolgirl, but she’s still my baby. She’s still little.

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6 responses

  • And she’s still precious! Enjoy the time you have, I’m sure you know all to well, how fast it can go.

    She’s beautiful!

  • Wow! She is beautiful. And so are these reflections. Yes, enjoy this precious time. My 4th and final child is now 18-months old. She’s changing right before my eyes.

  • “Because as I slathered on the sunscreen I had to cover that bare belly and under my hand it was still rounded and soft and felt exactly like that infant belly that I so lovingly coated in lotion after her bath.” This is beautiful. Thank you, thank you.

  • my little one was chubby too, so chubby she could only wear dresses and leggings LOL she’s changed so much in the last year. She’s able to wear pants with buttons now but I miss her babyness.
    your girls are adorable!

  • Your kids are so beautiful. And I loved how you wrote this and reflected on her life so far. Nicely done.

  • Anonymous

    I think your words expressed how we all feel as we watch our forever-babies grow up! You say it so beautifully though! 🙂 Thank you for sharing that!

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