“Are you kissing again?” C whines from the table as M grabs me around the waist and hugs me tight, planting a tender kiss on my lips. I peer around his head at her and wink.

“Yup, we’re kissing again. And we’re going to do it again and again!” I tease. C pretends to gag and Little L echoes while M and I kiss again.

This is a common occurrence in our kitchen. In fact it happens daily. The kissing and hugging at least, not always the gagging. That just depends on the mood of the peanut gallery.

I’m a strong believer in kissing, hugging, holding hands in front of my children. Nothing lewd or inappropriate. Just tenderness and love really. There’s no doubt in my mind that it’s up to us to model what a loving functional relationship should look like.

I would love for them to head into life knowing that when people love each other they don’t just treat each other with respect, listening when the other talks, speaking nicely to each other, and doing kind things for each other, but that they also take time to really show each other that affection through kisses, hugs, and tender gestures of love. Every day. Not just for special occasions.

So M and I don’t hide behind closed doors to hug and kiss. We hold hands in public and in the car. And we actually talk in front of our children. It might not seem like much, but it’s not something I saw often growing up. Not in my home or my friend’s homes. And really, I wish I had. Maybe I would have more easily recognized how emotionally abusive my first boyfriend turned out to be. 

Come Valentine’s Day I can guarantee that there won’t be cards, chocolates, flowers, or even a fancy dinner in a swanky restaurant. There will just be more love, more kisses, more hugs, and more every day tenderness, for me, for M, and for both girls. When you get love every day you don’t need a special holiday to celebrate it.