When C woke up this morning she quietly, but very clearly, told me that she wasn’t going back to Kindergarten. No way. No how.
I was torn. I don’t like to let her quit. It was one more day. There was really no reason to give in. And yet my gut screamed to let her ditch.
My gut lost, my head won, I told her she had to go back. And then when she cried I sat on the floor with her and rocked her until her sobs subsided.
There are countless parenting books and resources, but as a mom you really only have one thing to guide you through the tough moments – your gut. There’s rarely a rational thought to back up what your instincts tell you. And often it’s really, really hard to listen to that instinct because so much goes against it. But you have to learn to respect it, because even if your gut sometimes overreacts, it’s rarely wrong.
From day one my head has liked this school and my gut has hated it. I haven’t been able to articulate what made me so uncomfortable, so we’ve gone forward with the registration process, but I have to say that this morning, as I sat on the floor, my big baby sobbing in my lap, begging me to not make her go back, my gut was doing one big “I told you so” dance.
And yet I made her go. Because you have to face your fears and you can’t let bossy girls dictate what you will and won’t do in life. As it turns out she had a great time. Came out beaming, happy, laughing. And I was glad I’d made her go, because she learned today that things don’t always turn out the way you anticipate.
But happy smile and excited chatter didn’t make me love the school any more. In fact something happened right after I dropped her off that made me like it even less. I’d write about it, but I still can’t see past the anger to make it coherent, and there’s a slight chance that I’m overreacting and being overly emotional about what happened. So I’m leaving it alone for now. Suffice it to say that I spent the morning scrambling for other schools that we could visit. It’s well past the last hour for registration, so it was no easy feat, but I’m hopeful that I’ve found at least one other great contender in the big Kindergarten debate.
I took my much more confident daughter out for a celebratory piece of chocolate before taking her to daycare. And tonight we capped off the whole ordeal with a magical evening at Disney on Ice. It was perfect. A rare treat. An evening out late at night with both mommy and grandma. A girl’s night out of the sort they rarely get to enjoy. We came home exhausted, but happy. C was glad that her ordeal was over. I feel good that I was acting on my gut by researching different schools. Little L was just happy with her blinking fairy wings.
They are both snug in their beds and I’m headed to mine, all three of us with glitter in our hair and a lightness in our hearts that wasn’t there last night.