For a little over a year I’ve worked from home. I got up when the girls dictated, but we left the house when we were good and ready to start our days. Sometimes it was at 9, sometimes closer to 10. Trust me, it was rarely, if ever, before 8:30.
I have loved the low key, mellow side to working for myself. I have loved being able to go for a run on the mornings I feel antsy, calling a friend for a last minute lunch or coffee date, being able to dash out to run errands or do a little shopping. I’ve become a regular at the Starbucks near the girls’ daycare because it’s where I do some of my best work. And I have relished being in charge of my schedule and my days. I knew what needed to be done and when it needed to be done by. I managed my to do list in function of my family and my life.
But best of all, I have loved being able to answer “I’m a freelance writer” when people asked me what I did for a living. 14 months into it and I still get a thrill when I present myself as a writer.
Despite all that, tomorrow morning I’m going to roll out of bed before 7, dress the girls well before they are used to being dressed, and I’m going to drop them off at daycare over an hour earlier than usual. Then I’m going to point my car in the opposite direction from my favorite Starbucks, my running route, or my home, and I’m going to take myself to my new job.
In an office.
I’ll be there five days a week, part time. I’ll have to wear ‘real’ clothes – read ‘not yoga pants.’ I’ll be part of a team, a really, really great team. And I’ll be mostly working on things that have nothing to do with writing.
It would be lying to say that I don’t have very mixed feelings about starting this new chapter of my life. On the one hand I’m very excited to be doing something new and to once again have co-workers. My last team has left me scarred in ways that I’m still discovering and I’m thrilled to get a chance to work with a functional and supportive group of people. On the other hand, I’m loath to let go of my “I’m a freelance writer in charge of my own schedule” freedom.
All week I have been having severe anxiety about this new development, but I’ve been working hard to talk myself down. I’m still going to be the person I’ve been this past year. I’m still going to be a writer. I’m still going to be me.
I’ll just be better dressed and a little less caffeinated.