Friday Flashback is all about bringing to light some of my favorite posts from my archives to breathe new life into them. I’m reposting this because I was losing touch with why I started blogging in the first place. I’m glad to have this reminder. This was originally published in April 07.
As a working mom I’m sure that I’m not the only one who feels constantly pulled in a million directions. As an Administrative Assistant my job is to help people. Sometimes it literally feels as though I have to parent my co-workers. As a friend my job is to be there for the people I love. I thoroughly enjoy giving advice and being a sounding board, and I must be good at it because I’m often the go-to person for loved ones in trouble. As a mom I’m always the person who fixes, heals, hugs, loves and generally has to be there at all times for my daughter. If she’s sick I’m expected to drop everything and run to her side, even if that means I have to work while sitting on the couch cuddling a feverish little girl. As a wife I’m always the person who fixes, heals, hugs, loves and generally has to be there at all times for my husband. (Wait… maybe I already have two kids!) I’m his support system, and though I like being his rock, sometimes the elements wear me down.
Despite being four people in one I still only get 24 hours a day and 7 days in the week. I know, it’s not fair, but no matter how many moms sign that petition, there’s really no one who can fix the problem, so on we trudge. My little alarm chirps around 7 every morning (I know. I’m lucky.) “Mammy! I get out now!” and from that moment until I climb into bed I’m on duty. (After that I’m just on call. There’s a difference, I’m sure of it…) If someone needs something they just have to ask, and ask they do, sometimes more than one at a time, sometimes even when I’m in the shower.
Years ago I started a blog. It was my little spot on the Internet and it was mostly about my knitting. I posted pictures of my creations and talked a little about my life. My entries were sporadic, sometimes a few a week, sometimes just one a month. The need to write came and went and I just let it flow. Then I got pregnant and my focus changed. Knitting took a back seat to sheer exhaustion and somehow never made it back into the limelight. I still enjoy it, but not enough to comment on it regularly, if at all. My life took center stage and writing became a necessity. I changed blogs and came here in an effort to distance myself from the people who knew me in real life so that I could be more candid about my thoughts and experiences. That completely backfired, but not before this blog had become so much a part of me that I couldn’t face shutting it down.
I blog every day. I post something at least six times a week. I make myself do it even on days, like this one, where I’ve been on my feet most of the day and I just want to crawl into bed. Blogging is My Moment. It’s the only time during the day that is just about me, about doing something I love, for myself. I treasure this time and this indulgence, it helps keep me true to myself, it keeps me from getting lost in my life.