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When rejection leads to happiness and love

standard August 25, 2009 4 responses

The name printed under the picture caught my eye and made me smile. Only one person I know would really see the humor in the this, I thought as I looked at the grimacing face of the man named Bilbo Baggins Ballard.

The Gratitude Challenge of the day was to call a friend we rarely contact. An email would have to suffice. After all, we broke up ten years ago, it’s not like I even have his phone number or even know where he lives.

“Please don’t do this to your children. OK?” I emailed the short note along with the link to the article and photo smiling to myself. You have to love inside jokes that transcend time and space.

Moments later my BlackBerry buzzed and I glanced at the incoming email.

“Perfect. Just in time! First born due in two weeks. We’re considering Sam Gamgee if it’s a boy. Maybe Galdriel if it’s a girl.” The wink was implied.

Two weeks? A baby?

The email went on to explain when and who he’d married and where they were living. Thanks to an obscure Facebook note on someone’s wall last year I had vaguely known that there had been a wedding. It hadn’t phased me at the time. But now, faced with the black on white proof of both the nuptials and the fruit of the union, I was floored.

I let emotions flood me, not trying to stem or rationalize them. I simply took note as they rushed past. Let’s pretend that I shared these thoughts with you. Let’s assume they weren’t pretty or nice. We don’t need to commit them to the interwebs for all to see. I’m not proud of what I went through my mind.

The flow of bitter, angry, confused thoughts finally slowed and I was surprised to find that I wasn’t in the least bit jealous or upset. Instead I was at peace. A baby. A wife. A nice life in a lovely land. I couldn’t wish for better for a person who once meant the world to me.

Then I smiled wider as I let myself remember that his rejection had paved the road for my current happiness.

Because I wasn’t the girl for him, because he turned out to be man enough to be honest about his feelings and let me go, I met the man I was meant to be with. The one who fathered my children and loves me so completely and perfectly. The man I married 7 years ago today.

For that and for the instrumental role he played in my life and how it turned out I will be eternally grateful, I thought fondly as I reread the email one last time. And I wish him and his family as much love and happiness as I enjoy daily with mine. Even if I’m not 100% convinced he was kidding about naming his firstborn after fantastic characters.

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4 responses

  • Interesting, I came across a photo on facebook this week of a man whose leaving nearly destroyed me. He was pictured with his new wife.

    I was only happy for him. And I was happier for myself. I love the man who loves me.

  • Whymommyu

    Love this.

    Great perpective, and good memories from ” under the hill.”

  • Great post! It’s important to remember that in writing as well. Getting a rejection from one agent brings you that much closer to finding the perfect match.;-)

  • Wow, Jessica. Very brave. I’m a wussie. Wouldn’t be able to do it. I just saw someone from my past on a friends FB list, and I was clicking away as fast as I can. I’m blissfully married now, but don’t like reminders of past nightmares!

    DebraLShubert: I liked how you related it to writing. Very good reminder.

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