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What Happened to the Girl I Married? A Confession

standard July 18, 2009 2 responses

I have always watched the Stay at Home Mom/Working Mom debate from afar, terrified to get in the middle, horrified by the anger and meanness that permeates the debate. And at the risk of fueling more of that anger I’m going to confess something here… Back when I was a clock punching, 9-5, “working” mom, I secretly and quietly always wondered one thing.

Seriously, what do stay at home moms do all day?

Now that I am a work-at-home mom, who is blessed with all day daycare for her two children, I have found the answer.

And so starts my latest Silicon Valley Moms Blog post, inspired by Michael Miller’s book What Happened to the Girl I Married? Click here to read the rest of the post and the discussion that has already been started in the comments section. I’d love to know what you think!

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2 responses

  • I know you wanted comments at the link to the whole article, but I think I’m feeling too sorry for myself to put it out there in an even broader way.

    While it seems some stay at home moms struggle with finances and, perhaps, lack of support from their husbands, I had to deal with a different kind of reality.

    As the single (through divorce) mother of one son whom I adored, I never had enough time with him. To this day, I envy stay at home moms who have an option to choose (at least it seems so from the outside) whether to work or stay home. I did not have that choice (Oh yeah, it was called welfare, but that never occurred to me.) I worked and went to school full time until I got my degree, then I worked two jobs until I acquired a teaching job, and then a few years into that, I worked and went to school for my master’s.

    The trade off? We lived in a tiny condo in a nice town. One day, my son was invited to the home of a wealthy friend for dinner. I wanted him to bring flowers to the mom so she would know his mom had some couth. Mac asked why, and I told him I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed of me. He told me he loved telling people I was a teacher, he said he had watched me work so hard his whole life.

    Hm, he was proud of me.

    So maybe, though still pine for the time we lost, maybe, just maybe being a fulltimestudentteacherandmom was the best example I could have set for him?

    Still, I’m jealous of those stay at home moms who I meet everyday. Yet, some of them are jealous of me.

    Is there a clear answer?


  • You got a shout otu from the author of the book – how totally cool! Go Jessica! I too cannot wait to read your book!

    I have worn both hats – the sahm for the past 7 months and the working mom, both are equally hard in my opinion.

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