So yesterday I completely copped out and posted some ramblings and a picture of my new shoes. Considering the migraine that had been pummeling me for hours by the time I made it to my computer, it’s kind of miraculous that I was even able to find the computer let alone type a few coherent words. Good thing I didn’t attempt full sentences.

A few very kind souls commented on my super cute new shoes and my gorgeous toes, which leads me to the following somewhat embarrassing confession.

I don’t have gorgeous toes. I have creepy non toenails. I just know how to hide them.

Let me explain…

See this picture? The one I posted yesterday?
Gorgeous toes, right?

Wrong.

Look closer:
Do you see it yet?

No? Well, I essentially have no toenails.

Really. No joke. Let me show you without nail polish.
I know! Gross, right? Be thankful I spared you the close-up of the little toe. Ugh.

Sorry. I hope you weren’t eating. But now that you’ve gotten this far would you like to know how I go from stubby non-toenails to gorgeous peep toe sandal ready feet?

Easy. I paint on fake nails. Very tricky technique I discovered thanks to some very clumsy nail polish application one day. And that’s how I pretend I have gorgeous toes.

But that’s just between you and me. OK? I’d hate for everyone to know my dirty little secret. I mean, don’t you wish you didn’t know?