Almost 8 years ago we set foot on the lush green campus for the first time. Two fresh faced lovers, recent transplants to the Bay Area, there to attend an Intro to Judaism class in preparation for their upcoming wedding.
We were charmed by the simple but beautiful buildings, the gorgeous grounds, and the overwhelming sense of community. Once we got there we never wanted to leave.
Over the course of the following year I converted there, we were married by the temple’s rabbi, we started teaching at their Sunday School, and I took a full time administrative job in their office.
We bought in, hook, line, and sinker.
Five years later, not only was I still working there full time, but we were still teaching every Sunday, and twice a week I was dropping C off at the brand new preschool.
I worked at that synagogue for a total of six years. We were active members for much of that time, but the honeymoon didn’t last nearly as long.
By the time I quit we weren’t attending any religious functions or teaching in the Sunday School. We missed teaching, but when you work 5 days a week and you have kids weekends become sacred family time. And the religious parts? Well, after a while I found it hard to have as my spiritual leaders the people who showed me their true colors behind closed doors. I’m not saying they were bad people. I’m just saying they were people, with human faults, and they slowly lost that mystique that religious leaders should have.
Most of the time when you leave a job you actually leave. You don’t come back time and time again. But when I quit that’s exactly what I ended up doing. I left my job, but we didn’t pull C from her preschool. So for a year I was back there three times a week. I ran into coworkers, I saw my desk, I answered questions. For a while I even spent the time C was in class sitting in an empty classroom doing my own work. I was still very much tied to the place.
Today school ended for the year. Next fall C will be going to another school.
As I pulled out of the driveway it struck me that I could well be leaving for the last time. I expected to feel some sense of relief. Instead I just felt sad.
I had such high hopes when we first pulled into that same driveway all those years ago. I thought that we might find a spiritual home and even possibly a community to call our own. Instead, years later, I’m leaving with barely a look back. Another failed relationship under my belt.
Did you know that you can vote in the BlogLuxe awards once a day? Doesn’t have to be for me… though you know, if you wanted it to be, you’d find me in the Blog I’ve Learned The Most From category.