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Mother’s Day can be sad you know

standard May 8, 2009 16 responses

Not every mommy wakes up on Mother’s Day with a smile on her face, some wake up with tears in their eyes, and it’s not because they know they won’t be getting the gift they covet.

Some moms wake up sad on Mother’s Day because it’s a painful reminder of the child(ren) they can’t cuddle and love. For women who have lost a child in any way at all – miscarriage, still birth, death, custody battles – Mother’s Day and all the hype that surrounds it is a brutal reminder of everything they can’t have. By the same token dads who have lost a wife or children who have lost a mom feel that same pain.

Motherhood has nothing to do with poopy diapers and snotty noses. It’s about the love a mother bears for a child who she carried in her womb, in her heart, or sometimes just in her head.
Moms who can’t hold their children any more are still moms and they deserve the same recognition and the same attention on Mother’s Day.

Do me a favor. Call it a Mother’s Day gift if you will. Reach out on Sunday (or whenever you celebrate Mother’s Day) and make these bereft moms feel just as special and loved as they would if their child were still with them*. Every loss is our loss too. Every mom is one of us. Don’t forget them on this one day set aside to honor and appreciate moms and what they do.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to a mom who has suffered a loss. The best gift you can ever give a mourning mom is the gift of remembrance. Tell her that you’ll never forget, that her baby lives on in your heart too. She won’t mind being reminded, she never forgets. She’ll just be happy she’s not the only one.

Happy Mother’s Day to all moms. You’ll be in my thoughts on Sunday.

*This Sunday I’ll be thinking hard about these moms:
Tuesday’s mom
Maddie’s mom
Thalon’s mom
Benoit’s mom
Micah’s mom
Shale’s mom
And all the other moms who have lost their babies but don’t have a blog for me to link to. If you know of others who might need a little extra love this weekend leave us the link so we can go say hi.

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16 responses

  • That is so true. My father’s mother passed away when he was 9 months old and he never knew here. It’s this time of year I am happy and thankful to be a mom of three, but sad knowing there are many out there who are not able to celebrate in the way I can.

    Happy Mothers Day To All Moms!

    Brandy

  • Such a touching post, and true. My own cousin has lost her son when he was in his 20s. I have several friends who lost their children in their 20s, either through sickness, or accidents. You just never know. Count your blessings and enjoy your kids while you have them.

  • Very true, and very sad.

    My aunt just lost her son and son-in-law within 4 months of each other. Hard for all of us… much harder for her. I can’t even imagine the emotions she must all be experiencing.

    I will be sure to reach out in a special way to her.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  • My son struggles with depression and anxiety, and though I could write a book about it, he has asked me never to blog about it, and I will respect that.

    He’s nearing 23, and sometimes things are so rough for him, it breaks my heart. On those days, I ALWAYS think of his friend Brandon’s mom who would rather be dealing with the grief from this illness than the loss of her son. Brandon did three tours of duty with USAF intelligence, had just finished his 4 year stint, and was headed to Northwestern U. when he collapsed playing soccer one July night almost two years ago.

    My son and I talk about Brandon almost daily, and he is remembered so fondly. Whenever I express this to his mom, Barbara, she is so touched and surprised that we do think of her boy.

    I will definitely write to her tomorrow.

  • Excellent post, and an important reminder. Happy Mother’s Day to ALL mothers!

  • What a great post. I have thought of some of the moms you have mentioned and how they might be feeling tomorrow. Thanks for the reminder.

  • What a lovely and gentle reminder. I know someone who’s lost a son who doesn’t want to speak to me, but I will hold her pain in my heart and think good thoughts for her as the day will be painful for her and I have to remember that. Thank you for the thought.

  • I will be thinking of my friend Dawn, who lost her 3 year old son to cancer just a few weeks ago. He would have been turning 4 on May 16. I can’t imagine the pain she feels, or any of these wonderful moms who have lost a child. I will be thinking of you all and not take my own children for granted.

  • Beautiful post. Once a mom, always a mom. I’ll be thinking of those moms who have lost a child tomorrow. Happy Mother’s day to all moms.

  • I will be thinking of all the mom’s who have lost a child-no matter what their age-and those who have lost their wives and have to do double duty on the roles in their house.

    (((hugs))) and happy mother’s day to all.

  • Great post. Here via Room704.

  • So true! The mother’s day before last, we had been trying to conceive for a year with no luck – so I was feeling pretty down on that day… fortunately for us, a month later, we did in fact get prego and now we have a baby boy (that we blog about on http://ayearwithmomanddad.blogspot.com)… I’m glad you wrote about such a sensitive issue!

  • Perfect said, I would love it if your readers would consider stopping by http://www.playingwithangels.com and lift those mothers up. I can’t imagine what they must be going through.

  • Charlotte

    I am a mother and my child is 18 and she has allways taken Mother’s Day as a day to cause the most drama she can! Yesterday was no exception she sent a text “Happy Mother’s Day” I sent back “Thank You” that was it, no I love you, no card, no call. It was heartbreaking but it was more than I expected from her. Then the drama when she found out that I had lunch with some friends! She calls her dad and started saying that I preferred others to her! She made no contact with me stating she wanted to see me or even anything. The hugs I got from others were comforting to me.

  • Having lost my youngest son when he was 10 months old made some Mother’s Day very difficult. This year my 22 year old doesn’t want me in his life and he’s in Afghanistan. Love hurts sometimes.

    I have a friend who’s son committed suicide several years ago. I will be thinking of her Sunday.

  • A very interesting position. I’m thinking about some of the parents you mentioned and how they might feel. Thank you…

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