Tonight I got kicked out of the kitchen by my family for being overly grumpy. Seriously. They took a vote and decided unanimously that I needed to go chill out in another room.
It’s not my fault I’m grumpy. It’s the chocolate’s fault. Or rather the lack of chocolate, and bread, and candy, and everything else. I’m grumpy because I hate feeling like I can’t eat whatever the heck I want. Nothing makes me crave food more than knowing I can’t have it.
On the flip side, nothing makes me feel better about myself than being able to control my urges and seeing the result on the scale. It’s shallow, I know, but there it is.
Today I started a new weight loss program. It’s a 30 day deal. 30 days of planned meals and scheduled exercise. 30 days. I can do 30 days without chocolate and without candy and without the freedom of being able to eat whatever pleases my fancy.
I knew day 1 would be hard. I’ve cut out sugar in the past. It’s like a drug for me. The first few days are hell, then it gets easier and easier to resist. I knew that I would be fine for the first 2/3rds of the day and that I’d get crabby and hungry just around the time I brought the kids home from daycare. I had a hunch that that was when my resolve would falter and I’d get grumpy at the thought of another healthy meal for dinner. I worried I wouldn’t get through the day without cheating.
What I didn’t take into account was my family, who, instead of letting me get grumpier and grumpier, sent me out of the room to chill out with a cup of tea and a handful of carrots. Ten minutes later I felt better, the hunger had passed and I was more relaxed and able to face the evening.
Now there are 29 days left on this new plan. 29 days. I can do 29 days. Can’t I?