Picture a lush garden, thick grass, colorful flowers, a red stone patio, and slightly dingy green outdoor dining furniture. It’s early evening, the patio stones are still warm from a day of bright sun. A light breeze is blowing, cooling the air pleasantly.
M and I are sitting at the table under a large patio umbrella, chatting quietly over spinach and cheese ravioli. Mine are flavored with a dash of olive oil, a little tomato, and some home grown basil. His are doused in tomato sauce. Little L is playing quietly with a purple soccer ball nearby in the grass. We’re watching her out of the corner of our eyes as she picks up the ball, stands up, and falls down again and again.
Suddenly, we hear a strange schrchschrschrsch sound coming from the house. I look up and spot C coming through the back door, shorts and undies bunched around her ankles. She’s grinning maniacally as she shuffles towards us, a tiny square of toilet paper clenched in her fist.
She stops at the edge of the grass and waves the toilet paper towards me.
“Hi! Did you go potty?” I ask, rather pointlessly. “Did you have a pipi or a poop?”
“A POOP!” She crows throwing her arms in the air. “A GREAT BIG POOP! And I need you to WIPE ME!” She adds as she thrusts the paper towards me again. “IT WAS A HUGE POOP!”
I tried hard not to laugh, but I choked on my own spit. M didn’t even try not to laugh. And C just kept beaming at us with pride.
“Mommy?” She asked. “Want to come see my HUGE POOP?”
Which is when I completely lost it and started laughing hysterically. I somehow managed to get to my feet and took her hand. “Let’s go see that great big poop of yours, I need to wipe that cute tushy.” I said as I led her back into the house.