Let me just go on record here to say: HORMONES SUCK. Well, that’s not entirely true. They’re great at their job. And they are essential and all that jazz. But why, oh why do they have to make you feel so crazy? Why do they have to grab your emotions by the throat and beat their little heads senseless against the floor until you don’t know what’s right, wrong, or completely off the wall out of control?
A couple weeks ago M shielded his body, took hold of my hands, and gently told me that in the eight years he’s known me my PMS hormone moodiness had never, ever been worse. He looked at me and waited for my reaction. I’m convinced he thought I was going to kill him, but I just nodded. I knew my hormones were out of control, but I was powerless in the face of the onslaught.
Now I know that the first few menstrual cycles post pregnancy are wonky. I know the hormones are all out of whack. I know it’s just a temporary glitch. But grrrrrr. Oh and thank you my dear body for throwing in some weird ovulating PMSy hormone fun in the middle of the cycle. Because becoming a raging bitch once a month just wasn’t enough.
And if that wasn’t enough? Because, really, why would it be? It would seem that my brain has also been hijacked by some madness inducing weaning hormones. I didn’t even know that those existed. And seriously, I figured that the glacial pace of our weaning would prevent any hormonal madness. But noooo, that wouldn’t have been any fun, now would it? Double grrrrr.
So let’s recap: I navigated the choppy waters of PMS Hormone River rather badly, sailed right into Ovulation Hormone Lake, only to run aground on Weaning Hormone Island. And when I manage to work myself off that treacherous beach… well it’ll be just about time for the PMS Hormone River waters to get all choppy again, won’t it? Sweet! Not.
Eih. Don’t mind my grumpiness. It’s just the hormones talking. And if you see my husband around, be nice to him, he has to deal with me every day.