This is why our house is always trashed

standard May 15, 2008 3 responses

How not to get anything actually done: Cleaning up the kitchen while the children are eating dinner
– Seat both children in their highchairs and dispense dinner
– Notice a pile of clean dishes that need to be put away
– Pick a frying pan off the top and put it away
– Notice that the cheese needs to be put away
– Look for the ziplock bag for the cheese
– Get a new bag
– Put cheese away
– Notice that the baby has run out of food
– Grab more veggies for her
– Get watermelon for C
– Notice that the dishes still haven’t been put away, head back to the sink
– Realize that hamburger patty needs to be flipped
– Flip patty
– Notice baby has run out of food again and is whining
– Sit down to feed the baby strained peas
– Look for wash cloth to clean strained peas from the baby’s face, hands, and highchair
– Get water for C
– Clean up strained peas
– Get hamburger patty
– Cut up hamburger patty
– Tell C that she has to eat it; she asked for it
– Find applesauce for baby
– Find spoon for baby
– Attempt to shovel applesauce into whiny baby’s mouth
– Wipe applesauce from baby’s cheeks, chin, and forehead
– Tell C that she doesn’t get animal crackers until she eats hamburger
– Tell C to slow down
– Remember that baby needs medicine
– Mix medicine into spoonful of applesauce
– Distract baby long enough to get spoonful into her mouth
– Get C animal crackers
– Leave Little L in highchair to try to get more dishes put away
– Pull Little L out of highchair to stop the screeching
– Put Little L on kitchen floor
– Put a saucepan away
– Notice green stuff next to Little L’s foot
– Wonder how she spit up something she never ate
– Realize that the green sludge is coming from her diaper… and that she’s wallowing in it
– Scream for M to come help
– Hastily clean poop off the floor
– Strip baby and carry her to the bathroom
– Run the bath
– Bathe the baby
– Help C get into the bath
– Take the baby out of the bath and get a clean diaper on her now clean tush
– Give squeaky clean almost naked baby to M
– Search for a clean onesie
– Get C out of the bath
– Head to the kitchen to get C and Little L their sippy cup and bottle
– Notice that the pile of clean dishes is virtually intact
– Give up on ever putting away the dishes, oh well, at least they’re clean
– Go get the girls ready for bed

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3 responses

  • OMG, this was SO funny.

    You BEAUTIFULLY captured one of the most challenging aspects of being a mom: never being able to focus on a single task and bring it to completion.

    Thank you for a good laugh. 🙂

  • Wow. Totally sounds like my house. I mat just have to post a similar piece one day soon! Did you ever get the dishes put away? I am lucky enough to have a teen who’s job it is to make sure all dishes are put away every day. It rocks.

  • Sounds VERY familiar. My husband likes to recite a quote from “A Christmas Story” whenever we have a meal, as I’m running around getting everyone their drinks, napkins, seconds, thirds, fourths, etc: “My mother had not had a hot meal for herself in fifteen years.” Only a mom can truly appreciate a hot meal.

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