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And just like that I started a new career

standard May 2, 2008 8 responses

“Go! Go do it now!” she urged and I couldn’t think of a reason not to so I turned and headed to her office. I stopped, hesitating for a moment, but then I kept going. Sure, I could stall and check my email again, but what was the point? To succeed in life you have to do one thing that scares you every day. This was definitely scary enough to count.

“Do you have a minute?” I asked with my hand on the door.
She nodded and waited for me to sit down after closing the door. She looked at me expectantly and waited for me to start.
“I, ah. I’m giving notice.” I hadn’t planned what I was going to say, convinced that my usually quick tongue would find the right words. But now that it was actually happening I found myself at a loss. Her look of shock was so genuine that it caught me off guard and made it hard to continue. “I’ve, ah, been given an amazing opportunity that’s going to allow me to be a freelance writer.” The shocked look turned to a delighted one for a minute.
“That’s great! Well, not for us, but for you that’s wonderful!” I felt the tightness in my neck relax a little, but I resisted the urge to roll my shoulders; I wasn’t out of the woods yet. But nothing unpleasant was forthcoming. We discussed logistics and timing for a few minutes and then I left to go back to my desk.

I should have felt relieved, at least a little, but I felt more like a child expecting a punishment who instead gets a cookie and a pat on the head; I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Where was the anger? The reprimands? Where was the begging? The “Please don’t go! We need you!”? As I walked back to my office I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d always assumed that I mattered more to my boss than I really did. But each coworker who heard the news was thrilled for me and I was finally forced to conceed that maybe everyone was just truly happy for me.

It’s official; I’m a freelance writer. Guess I’d better start writing, hun?

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