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The books I would write

standard March 17, 2008 7 responses

I glance at my watch as we finish our dinner and do a little mental happy dance. Only 6:30, plenty of time to go to Borders on our way back to the car. Just as I finish my little mental calculation M speaks up.
“Do you mind if we stop off at Urban Outfitters?” Clearly he’s done the same math as me.
“Only if we can also go to Borders.”
“Urgh. Why don’t you go to Borders and I’ll go to Urban Outfitters.”
“Only if you take one of the kids.”
He agrees to take C and heads out with her as I finish feeding the baby. I pack Little L up in her stroller and almost skip all the way to the store. Except that it’s hard to skip while pushing a stroller. Trust me, I’ve tried. So really I just walk fast.

I push open the heavy glass door and step into my nirvana. The door closes softly behind me and I let myself drift towards the first pile of books. My hand reaches out and picks one off a Best Seller table. The hardback is heavy, solid. I love the feel of it in my hands. I open the cover and read the inside flap. It’s Jodi Picoult’s latest novel and as I read the blurb I remember something I just read about her writing technique; she starts all her books with a “what if” scenario and lets her characters guide the narrative. I like that, I could do that.

I put down the book and move on to the next one in the pile, Sophie Kinsella; girl wakes up after a car accident and remembers nothing about the last three years of her life. She’s a different person than the one she last recalls seeing in a mirror. Just reading the book flap makes my mind spin with the hundreds of ways I could spin that story. Being in a book store used to make me want to curl up in a cozy arm chair with a pile of unexplored books and endless hours stretching out in front of me. Now bookstores make my hands itch to pick up a pen or crack open my laptop.

I meander through the new release shelves and the staff favorites. Little L chirps and chatters in her stroller, but I barely hear her; I’m too focused on the books in front of me. I’m not looking for anything in particular, and as I wander around I find myself thinking about my books, the books that I hope to one day see on these shelves, on those tables. How will it feel to see my name embossed on a shiny cover? Will I be tempted to nonchalantly say to someone; I wrote that. I’m the author? Or will my glowing face be hint enough?

I spend a few more minutes in the store, but I can’t focus on any specific book, I’m too caught up in my fantasy. Plus I feel guilty about all the books waiting to be read at home, so I cover up the baby and head out in search of my husband and other child. My visit to Borders has served its purpose; I feel refreshed, more centered and inspired than I have in days. Tomorrow morning I’ll get back to work on my novel, if I want to see my name in print I have to get the stories out of my head.

This post was inspired by this week’s Sunday Scribblings. This week we’re revisiting some old prompts. Head on over there to see what everyone else has written.

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7 responses

  • I adore Borders too… but my dreams are of being able to sit there and just read, read, read – no worries about work, money or anything. How I wish…*sigh* 🙂 But maybe one day it’s YOUR books I’ll be wanting to read 🙂 Best wishes always!

  • I’m so glad you have found a way to refresh yourself! I think I lost my drive and creativity all at once when I gave birth to the kids. argh. I wish we had a Borders around here!

  • I love Border’s. I often find myself thinking the same things, what I would do with the story etc…
    who knows, maybe one day we’ll be reading each other 🙂

  • Can’t wait until your book gets done and published. You must reserve me a copy!

    By the way, M shops at Urban Outfitters? Isn’t that a teenager store? Boy, he’s more hip that I thought!

  • I know exactly what you mean! Books seem to get me more and more motivated to write.

    Hope you’re on the shelves someday!

  • I hadn’t been to a bookstore in ages until last week. When I walked in, just the smell of all those fresh books was so refreshing! I don’t think I’ll ever write a book, not a novel anyway. I do hope you are able to write your story. I promise to get a copy and read it! 🙂 Keep dropping in when you have time.

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