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And I wonder why I’m tired before I even get to work

standard March 15, 2008 3 responses

Weekday mornings in our house are…, well, let’s just say they’re intense.
See for yourself. I present to you a run of the mill weekday morning:

1) Crack open an eye and see that it’s 7:23, curse because you meant to get up at 7:10.
2) Slip your arm out from under the baby’s head as you substitute a nipple for a pacifier. Stop moving when she cracks open an eye. Wait until she goes back to sleep and try again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
3) Give up on getting the baby to go back to sleep and get up with her.
4) Change the baby’s diaper and bring her to her father in the kitchen. Strap her into her high chair and hand her some cheerios. Say good morning to husband who is lost in the newspaper. He has the dubious honor of getting to feed both girls in the morning.
5) Head to the bathroom and turn on the shower. Pee. Brush your teeth. Weigh yourself. Move the scale. Weigh yourself again. Give up on scale and decide it must be broken. Shower.
6) Get out of the shower and listen for screaming, crying, or other sounds of parental distress.
7) When the all clear sounds apply various lotions, creams, deodorants, and hair products while chatting with 2 year old and trying to keep her out of the bathroom drawers and cupboards.
8) Leave the bathroom and go hunt down some clothes. Say good bye to husband. Wish him a great day. Take a deep breath and get ready to face the troops alone.
9) Get dressed.
10) Go find the baby in the kitchen. Negotiate with the toddler as you get your breakfast ready; tea and cereal, yum. No to painting, yes to Yo Gaba Gaba.
11) Assemble pump parts while water for the tea heats up in the microwave. Hurry when the baby starts to fuss.
12) Bring bowl and mug into the living room, return to the kitchen to collect the baby.
13) Turn on Yo Gaba Gaba.
14) Dress the baby and give her nebulizer treatment while booting up the computer.
15) Set the baby up to nurse and finally eat your cereal. Check your personal and work email, and, if you’re lucky and the baby isn’t too squirmy, a blog or two.
16) Brush the toddler’s hair when the baby is done nursing. Beg her to find her shoes as soon as you are done.
17) Gulp your lukewarm tea and go find some socks for yourself.
18) Demand that the toddler go get her shoes already. Threaten to turn off the TV.
19) Put the baby in the car seat and go finish getting your hair ready.
20) Raise your voice and insist that the kid GET. HER. SHOES. NOW!
21) Put laptop in bag. Gather sippy cup, baby’s bottle, and lunch bag from the fridge.
22) Locate 2 year old’s shoes in her room. Put them in front of her and ask her to put them on.
23) Start a load of laundry and make the bed.
24) Put kid’s shoes on her feet. Turn off TV. Gather up the baby and your jacket and head to the front door.
25) Wait for the kiddo to find a toy to bring with her. Run through your mental check list. Head back to the bedroom to find your cell phone, and finally, finally, head out to the car. Strap both kids in and get into the driver’s seat. Take another deep breath. It is 8:59. Congratulations you’ve made it out of the house before 9 a.m. once again.

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3 responses

  • Boy, that sounds suspiciously like my mornings used to be, though you’d have to substitute silicone nipples for real ones (it’d be a might odd otherwise).

    Now the biggest difference is we don’t leave the house or shower before noon, usually. Not sure how old the baby is now, but I highly recommend cutting her off from sleeping with you, even if it’s more convenient. It took us a year but we did it– what a relief!

  • No wonder you are tired! Sounds very similar to my days when I have appointments, etc. Aren’t kids fun? LOL

  • Geez, J, I’m tired just READING that!

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