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Aha! Oh. Wait. You don’t agree?

standard December 19, 2007 8 responses

Have you ever had one of those moments when you read a blog post and you thought: “YES! YES! EXACTLY! I can SO relate!”?

Have you then read the comments and realized that you were the only one who agreed? Yeah. That’s never a fun feeling.

I came across this post today, and I got really excited because I completely agree with what the poster was saying. It bugs the bejezus out of me when people give donations “in my name” in lieu of gifts. By all means give donations instead of giving me a present. I can think of a million people who need things more than me. I don’t need anything, honest! Send me a card, or even an email wishing me Happy Holidays or a Happy Birthday if you really want, but please, please, don’t send me a note telling me you gave your favorite charity a donation “in my name.”

Two weeks ago my employers gave each employee a certificate proclaiming that they had donated money in appreciation of all our hard work. Wow. Seriously? If you really appreciate me then give me money, or a gift certificate, or, hey, here’s a novel idea, sit down with me and tell me what it is about me that you enjoy so much. And if you really, really need to give a donation, I get it, but please ask me where I’d like the money to go instead of choosing for me. They gave to a charity I don’t endorse in the least, and I’m actually annoyed that money was given to them in my name.

When I come across a blog post that I really relate to it’s like entering a crowded party and spotting a kindred soul. I get so excited that other people feel the same way I do, it validates my feelings and lets me feel a little less like a freak. But then I read the comments, and where I thought would be a hundred “Oh yes!” comments, I find a bunch of “Hun? Say what?s.” That’s like a bucket of cold water.

Maybe in the end I’m not a freak, just an original thinker and there are only a few of us out there in the blogosphere. Or maybe I am a freak, a cheap, selfish freak at that.

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8 responses

  • I’m right there with you on both counts – the donation giving in someone else’s name and the feeling of being a freak when so few others seem to agree with you. My SIL gives to charity in my name every Christmas. Apparently I still have to give her a bottle of wine though. I think it stinks.

  • sun

    I agree as well, just not a regular commenter on svmoms… I mean, esp. if someone was already planning on making a donation to a specific charity, now s/he wants credit as being a thoughtful person for it?

    What would really blows is your situation, where your work forgoes your holiday bonus to make the donation. So not cool

  • I actually just had one of those moments with your support group post.

    And on the charity thing, I agree. People rarely donate ‘in my name’ to a charity that I would have chosen. If you don’t want to buy me a gift, then bake me some biscuits or make me a card.

  • Meredith

    It reminds me of that episode on Seinfeld where George made up a fake charity to donate too instead of spending money on gifts – the “People Fund.” I totally agree with you – it is not a gift at all. Charity is great but it is personal. By the way, I made a donation to the People Fund in your honor. Merry Xmas. 🙂

  • Yeah they did the donation thing last year at my work. So lame, give me a gift or don’t. I think it’s condescending, as if they think you’re not donating on your own time with your own money.

  • meredith beat me with the Seinfeld reference. I am so with you on this one. It’s like people are trying to make their charitable donations AND cross off a gift on their list in one shoot.
    Years ago my boss made a donation to the Humane Society in my name and gave them all my information, and I’m still getting mail from them. And my first AND last names have evolved in spelling. I feel really appreciated, let me tell you.

  • Seriously, I would appreciate more a card saying “For Christmas this year, I paid a dollar and put your phone number on the Do Not Call list.” Now THERE’S something I can love all year long!

    Seriously, this is the thing that gets me about this kind of thing, and those frapping bracelets for every ailment under the sun… just skip the middleman and give your money where it’s needed already. If you need to let everyone know that you gave money, dude, it wasn’t about giving the money, was it?

  • I am 100% with you on this…including the ‘freak’ feeling. I can’t count how many times that has happened to me too.

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