After a long week on Weight Watchers, watching everything I eat, counting points for each and every little bite, I give myself a day off. My plan is simple; 6 days on track, 1 day off. And on that day off, one reward; one decadent, completely off plan treat.
During the week when temptations come my way I can say no, telling myself that I can have it on Saturday. Like this I find WW doable. I’ve tried the other way, the “real” way. I craved naughty foods all the time and cheated constantly. It wasn’t sustainable.
This week I lusted after a chocolate sundae. Warm rich hot fudge slathered (no ‘drizzle’ here) over sweet creamy frozen goodness. I held out and did well. Down 2.4lbs. Only 30 to go, 23 to pre-pregnancy weight.
And yet tonight I almost didn’t go get my sundae. Out alone at night? Leaving M alone with both kids?
“Go!” He said. “Go get your sundae.”
I hoisted myself off the couch and grabbed a purse. Wallet. Phone. Keys. Book. Notebook. Pen. A final goodbye. Little L gazing at her daddy. C finally asleep, coughing a little. M gearing up for a crossword. And all of a sudden I was alone in the car. No diaper bag. No kids.
How strange to be taking the car with its car seats and loveys when I’m leaving the kids at home. All of a sudden I can’t remember the last time I was out alone without kids. Without M. Not pregnant. So strange.
I order my sundae, but in reality I’ve already had my treat. This stolen moment alone without responsibility. The sundae is the cherry on top.
The ice cream melts in my mouth, the warm chocolate speeding it along. I read a chapter of my book and savor the moment. Soon I’ll be going home where bottles need to be washed and the baby needs to be put to bed. But that’s OK. This moment is special because it is just that, a moment. And now I know. There’s always next week.
Wonder where I’ll go.