Open Letter to my 1999 Gold Jeep Cherokee

standard August 24, 2007 4 responses

Oh my dear sweet car,
I love you, your gold exterior, your soft leather seats, your reliability. You are always where I leave you and I can usually count on you to take me where I need to go. (Except for that one time I forgot to turn off a light and drained the battery, but clearly that was my fault and has long been forgotten.) Aside from the fact that the CD player hasn’t worked since I inherited you five years ago (my oh my, has it really been that long?) I really don’t have any reason to complain about you, except for one thing.

Why, oh why, do you have to be so gosh darned loud? No seriously? When C tries to tell me about her day I have to turn off the radio and strain to make out her words over the loud groans of your engine. Years ago we thought that the noise was caused by the rear axle, but some thousands of dollars later and a brand new axle the drone continues, and I swear it gets louder every time I turn on the engine.

Some days the pitch seems different, and other days the noise seems quite bearable, but just when I manage to convince myself that I’m making mountains out of molehills you go and sound like a lawnmower straining to cut some particularly gnarly patch of grass. The last three mechanics that have serviced you have commented on your noisiness, but none have been able to determine what was causing the racket. (That one guy was willing to “do whatever it took to find the problem”, but he tried to swindle us out of a ton of money to fix M’s car so we didn’t take him up on his offer. Sorry.)

My last resort is going to be Ask Patty, hopefully someone there might have some helpful hints. If not, as much as I love you, I have to advise you, either you pipe down or I’m going to have to have no choice but to trade you in for a nice quiet hybrid. Consider yourself warned.

Lots of love,
Your weary, and sometimes messy, driver

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