Every night before heading to bed I look in on C to make sure she’s safe and snug. I pause for a moment and watch her sleep, one arm slung behind her head, the other hand holding tightly to her beloved doggy. She looks so peaceful and sweet as she smiles in her sleep. I cover her up with a blanket and whisper good night. Sometimes she opens her eyes a little and smiles at me before rolling over, sometimes she just slumbers on, oblivious to my ministrations. I check how much water is left in her sippy cup, make sure that the side of her crib is raised, and quietly leave her room. It’s my nightly ritual, the one that allows me to sleep soundly.
This weekend we plan on getting her big girl bed, and to be honest I’m a little scared. M thinks that she’s ready to transition, but I’m not so sure. She’s never tried to climb out and she’s never indicated that she’s sad to sleep in a crib. I love knowing that she’s safe behind the sturdy bars of her crib, it helps me sleep at night.
That said, we have a little space issue. In 5 weeks we’re bringing home another little one, and there isn’t room for two cribs in that room, in fact there’s barely room for a crib and a toddler bed. The baby will sleep in our room for a few months, but I was hoping to get C settled before the new arrival so she doesn’t feel ousted from her crib. I just can’t find a solution that feels right.
In the end maybe all of this is less about C being ready for a big girl bed and more about me being ready for another baby. I’m so tired and overwhelmed I can’t wrap my brain around the changes that are about to hit. M keeps saying that everything is going to be just fine, but I just don’t see the light at the end of this particular tunnel.
Perhaps I should take a page from C’s book and just “hold on tight” as we get started on this wild ride. She always seems to trust me to get her to her destination safely, maybe it’s time for me to have faith in the people around me. After all, M is right, we didn’t do so badly the first time around.