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Secret Identity

standard April 16, 2007 Leave a response

I have a secret. One I rarely share with anyone. My secret is that I’m shy, horribly, horribly shy. Anyone who knows me in real life would laugh to read that. Me? Shy? Ha! I’m always the life of the party, always the one to strike up a conversation, always the one to reach out to new people in a crowd.
That’s my secret identity. Years ago I decided that if I couldn’t get over being shy, the least I could do was pretend I wasn’t. And it worked. I imagined myself as being the strong, funny, confident girl I’d always wished I could be, and I pretended to be her. The first time I was a little shaky, but no one could tell. The second time it was easier, and by the third time I was golden.
By the time I moved to the States no one knew that I’d ever been the shy girl in the corner and my cover was perfect. That girl stays hidden deep inside and the confident one has taken over. Now only my very closest friends, and anyone who happens to stop by this blog, know the truth.
I’m not able to keep the shy girl hidden at all times. She rears her head when I have to cold call someone, or even answer the phone. She’s also there if I ever have to go to a social event without a wing man. I may always pretend to be a strong confident woman, but inside I’ll always be the same. I’m always going to need my secret identity. That shy girl will always be around, but I can live with that, it keeps me grounded and honest.

This post was inspired by the Sunday Scribblings prompt Secret Identity. Click here to see more great entries.

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