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Loaded day

standard April 21, 2007 Leave a response

I was anxious when I woke up this morning. After a week of prep today was finally crunch time, one huge mailing, just a handful of people to help, and any number of things that could go wrong. Just another day at the office, with an extra side of stress.
Surprisingly as I drove C to daycare and myself to work it wasn’t the mailing my mind kept turning to, it was to the friend whose toddler died last year. For a while I just thought it was because she was in the office yesterday, then I realized why I was so preoccupied with her lost daughter. We do this mailing once a year. Every year it’s a stressful event. Last year it was horrible, we spent the afternoon stuffing envelopes and the morning at the funeral of an 18 month old baby. So, even though the anniversary of her death isn’t until next week, it felt like it was today.
I spent the day collating, stuffing, sealing, mailing, and thinking about a sweet little girl who should have lived to see her second birthday. When I loaded my boxes of envelopes into the car at the end of the day and headed towards the post office I had to choke back tears. It felt like she had died all over again.
The annual mailing is a strange memorial service, but I’ll take it. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to remember exactly when she died, now I know I’ll never forget. Rest in peace Micah Mei. You live on in our hearts and our thoughts.

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