A while back I posted about my anxiety surrounding my new role as book club leader. Since then there has only been one book club meeting. I’ve officially taken over the book club and I fear I was right… all the cool kids seem to have flown the coop.
Tomorrow we are meeting to pick the books that we will be reading over the next six months. I begged and pleaded, but only three people sent me recommendations. Luckily one of them had the list of the original recommendations (Two months ago we tried to do this a first time, the list of books that were chosen were lost, swallowed by a computer or something. Thus we get to do it again!) so we have something to work with tomorrow. My fear is that no one will show up. But I guess if no one does the host and I get to pick the books!
I really thought that when I grew up I would outgrow the fear that people won’t like me, that I won’t get invited to the “cool” parties, but apparently not! The desire to be liked, to have people think that I’m smart, cool, and worth hanging out with is still strong in me. It shouldn’t be! I have great friends! I have a wonderful family! All of that should be enough, but it seems that it isn’t.
So cross your fingers for me and hope that more than three people show up tomorrow.