I have a friend who just found out she’s pregnant for the first time. She’s incredibly excited and keeps calling me with really basic questions. I keep having to remind myself that it’s all new for her and that I was just as clueless about pregnancy once upon a time.
I have another friend who has been pregnant twice before and only has one child to show for it. She’s pregnant again and feels like she’s on permanent miscarriage watch.
And then there’s me. I’ve been pregnant before and now I’m pregnant again. I spent my entire first pregnancy worrying about everything and anything, convinced that I wouldn’t get a live baby out of the deal. This time I’m not worried in the least. Or rather, I just feel resigned to it all. It’s like I did all of that worrying last time and it was all for nothing. And this time, I just don’t have the necessary energy for the angst. So I’m just skipping it. I’m eating right, and doing everything I should, but nothing is surprising me or throwing me for a loop.
I think there are different stages of pregnancy. More so than first trimester, second, etc. There’s the Newbie pregnant woman, who is treading in uncharted waters. Everything is new and a little scary.
There’s the Been There Done That pregnant woman, who is in familiar waters. She’s been through these motions before and knows what to do and when to do it. The little things don’t upset her o surprise her any more, she already knows the answers to all the questions.
And finally there’s the Pregnant After a Loss pregnant woman, who is once again in uncharted waters, but a whole new ocean. She knows the questions and the answers to the average pregnancy stuff, but she also knows how quickly everything can go wrong.
Maybe the fact that I get to experience this pregnancy at the same time as these two great friends is why I can be so nonchalant about my own. Or maybe it really is because I’m so overwhelmed and exhausted that I just can’t muster the energy. In any case, it’s nice not to be treading water by myself.