My apologies to people trying to use my blog roll to discover new blogs. Many of those blogs are now defunct. Bloggers have closed shop, choosing to start over somewhere else or to stop writing all together. It’s not surprising really. It’s the nature of blogging; you turn to it in times of need and move on when that time has passed. As a blog reader you have to be willing to say goodbye and farewell, even to “friends” whose stories you have followed for a long time. Sometimes that’s easier said than done.
Today Karen of the Naked Ovary said goodbye to her hundreds of readers. I understand the desire to protect and shield family and friends. I know that she needed to do this to make herself and her daughter feel safe. I understand why, but I don’t have to like it.
Karen is not the best writer out there, she’s good, just not the best. There are millions of other adoption blogs that I could read, I could easily find more reading materials. But her blog was special to me.
I followed the story of the adoption of Maya Papaya almost religiously because it reminded me of another little girl. A little girl whose story doesn’t get to be told. Whose story got cut short. When my friends lost their baby girl, Micah, only six short months after bringing her home from China, Karen hadn’t even been matched with MP yet. When they were finally matched it was like I got to see everything my friends had gone through. It made me feel closer to them, and it made it easier to talk to them about their daughter.
I cried the day Karen came home with Maya. I’d never met either of them, but still I cried. I thought all day about my friend bringing home her own baby, how happy they were that day, that month. Watching Karen and Maya get to know each other was bitter sweet for the same reason. I’ve been so happy for her, so thrilled that her dream has come true. But, at the same time, it’s made me sad to see everything that my friend won’t have ever again. In the end joy for Karen always prevailed.
When I logged onto her site today, hoping to read another fun MP anecdote, I was floored to read her goodbye message. Then I cried. I’ll grant you that pregnancy hormones are partly to blame, but a part of me felt that Micah was dying all over again. I know it’s silly. I know it’s irrational. But I think a part of me felt that Micah was living on through Maya and now I feel like I’ve lost her all over again.
So yes, I understand why bloggers shut down their blogs, but Karen, you will be missed a lot more than you will ever know.