How to choose?

standard August 28, 2006 2 responses

On Wednesday morning my wonderful husband and I will be getting onto a plane and heading west towards sun, beaches and relaxation. I can’t wait. It is a well deserved rest for the both of us and we really need the time alone.
However, as we get ready to head out to Hawaii this week, we have had to ponder a difficult topic. It is the first time we are leaving our child. She has only spent one night away from home, even then we were only twenty minutes away. As responsible adults we have to imagine the worst so that we can be prepared. For example; some horrible thing befalls us making our sweet baby an orphan.
Contemplating this saga has made us both in turn sad, angry, and frustrated. Fact is, we can’t think of anyone who would be good enough for our angel. One set of sibblings are more religious than we can handle, another set isn’t really ready to take on this kind of responsibility. The best suited set of sibblings lives on the other side of the country, far from everything C has always known. One set of grandparents doesn’t want to take on such a task at this time of their lives and the other set is divorced and living second lives where small children just don’t fit in. It would be much easier to ignore the situation, pray for the best, and hope that the grandparents would rise to the occasion and deal should the need be felt, but we can’t, it wouldn’t be fair to them, and it wouldn’t be fair to C.
Tomorrow I will call the sibbling on the east coast and tell her that she is our first choice as surogate mother. I really hope she is amenable to our plan, because she’s our only hope. Once that is dealt with my next biggest task will be to figure our what I have to pack for C’s weeklong stay at grandma and grandpa’s.

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2 responses

  • I think about that everyday.. Chris and I have really put off the important stuff..life insurance, wills, who gets Grace..the whole 9 yards..I think because of how sad talking about that stuff makes me. I know I would feel so much better knowing it were taken care of. As for “who gets Grace”.. both our parents are in that same stage.. and my brothers are just not in the right place in their lives (despite my younger one having his second child in a few months here).. But Chris’ sister I think would rise to occasion. She is more religious than I would like for Grace, but they are such good people. She already has 3 kids and a 4th on the way, but I know that she wouldn’t hear of Grace going anywhere else should anything happen to us. Ugh..I hate even talking about that…

  • We set up a trust for LM and have 5 layers of guardians for him – that means if #1 can’t do it, or dies, #2 takes over. I figured 5 may be overkill, but hey, that’s me. Anyway, both B and I have a sibling but we think both would make bad parents for differing reasons. My brother is too self centered and a little irresponsible and my SIL is marrying a guy that no way is going to be allowed to even be alone with my son, let alone parent him. In the end, our #1 choice is actually a friend of mine who I have known for 20 years. I chose her because she and her husband are very similar to us in morals, politics, outlooks on education and raising their children. #2 is my uncle who remarried recently and his kids are in their late teens, #3 is another close friend of mine, and #4 is SIL (maybe by then she’d have divorced the guy).

    I tell you this so you can see that you don’t necessarily have to pick a family member. Also, so that you have back ups.

    I also really suggest a trust but M probably knows all about those. 🙂

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