I am shy.
Few people who know me knows this.
I know, that sounds crazy, but years ago I decided that the only way to survive was to pretend to not be shy and to just act confident. It fools most people. (until they hand me a phone and try to get me to cold call someone and then my game is up because that is truly something I can’t do.)
I usually give myself false confidence by never going anywhere new by myself. I talked a friend into joining my bookclub with me. I take my husband with me whenever I can. Sometimes however, I just have to be a big girl and go somewhere by myself.
Because I’ve been freaking out a little about the mass exodus of most of my friends I’ve decided to try to make new friends. On Sunday I packed up my daughter and I headed out to a new playgroup. I didn’t bring anyone with me. The whole point of the endeavor was to try to meet new people and it’s hard to do that when you have someone with you.
I was so anxious about it that I wanted to throw up all day. I almost didn’t go. I kept trying to put C down for a nap (you know, so I’d have a good excuse to not go…) but the little bugger just wouldn’t go to sleep!
In the end it was such a non event that I needn’t have worried. There were three moms there. One with a baby just a month older than C. Two with 4 year olds. I didn’t really click with anyone. It was a park like any other park, nothing worth driving a half an hour out of my way to go to. I don’t think I’ll be going back.
I’ll have to meet new people somewhere else.