Why now?

standard April 4, 2012 2 responses

Why now?

Why does the cat always wake me up mere minutes before the alarm is set to go off? Too early to want to get out of bed, too late to actually go back to sleep.

Why now?

Why does it take me hours to find my focus only to find it just around lunchtime when my stomach growls, demanding food, demanding sustenance. And then, when I find the focus again it’s time to collect the children, time to feed them, play with them, be with them.

Why now?

Why do brilliant ideas come to me as my hands are deep in the soapy dishwater with children clamoring for attention to the right and to the left of me? I tell myself that I’ll remember, that I’ll write everything down the instant I have a moment of quiet. Of course in that first instant of calm the nugget of brilliance has long evaporated, gone like the last traces of water from the dishes on the drying rack.

Why now?

Why do I crave a run long after the sun has gone down and it’s no longer safe to pound the pavement in our dark, poorly lit neighborhood with no sidewalks? Why do I never want to leave the house when the sun is shining and cars could easily see me?

Why now?

Why do the children move especially slowly on the mornings I’m actually in a rush? Why are they so accommodating and easy to rouse, dress, feed, on the days when I have all the time and all the patience in the world?

Why now?
Why the light at the crosswalk? The line at the store? The empty tank of gas? The silenced alarm clock? The hot water that runs out? The child with a fever? The sore throat? The tax payment that’s due.

Why now?

We fight “now” all the time. We want it to be later, then, after, when it will be easier, done, when there will be more time. We want it to be before, earlier, when it was all so much easier, happier, not yet tainted by reality. But now is really all that exists. Now, at the crosswalk, in the kitchen, on the pavement.

“Why now?”  a hushed whisper from that dark side of our brain will always wind its way across our minds, breathlessly suggesting that we should be discontent with now, that now is less than, sub standard, to be disregarded. But really, why not now? Now is good and perfect. Now is everything. All you have to do is not ask “Why now?”, stop fighting now, stop letting longing for the past or hope for the future interfere with our enjoyment of today.

Awesome illustration from the equally awesome Dresden of www.creatingmotherhood.com.

What does the phrase “Why now?” say to you? It’s the latest Kick in the blog prompt, so come share with us!

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2 responses

  • I am actually working on enjoying “now” my daughter keeps asking what we will do for Christmas when it is only Easter… so I told her enjoy “NOW” for a change and take it all in… make a memory and take a mental picture of now. 🙂

  • danielle shaeffer

    Why now? Because right now I am laying in bed next to a beautiful man listening to him breathe while the smell of coffee brewing wafts throuugh the air. Because now I am concious enough to appreciate this as a gift and aware enough to know that this may not always be. Because now I know to let the universe/God guide me as I relinquish control. Now, back to that beauyiful man….

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