Finally living in our town

standard March 23, 2012 7 responses

Years ago, when we first moved to California, me for the first time, M to come home, we spent two years living in his parents’ back yard. (Don’t worry, we didn’t pitch a tent, we lived in the pool house, which was more like a guest cottage than a bathing suit hut.)

For two years we got to know the town, the library, the stores, the parks, the people. And then we moved 30 minutes south.

It made sense for us to move south. We bought a house close to M’s law school. We bought a house we could afford, in a lovely neighborhood. It was the ideal choice at the time.

And yet, I had a job in the old town and, when C was born, I put her in daycare in the old town. After daycare C graduated to a preschool in the old town and eventually an elementary school even further north.

For 8 years we resided in one town and lived in another. It was a bit like having a split personality disorder. Our friends lived 30 minutes away from us. Our grocery store was 30 minutes away. Even our doctors and dentists were there. When I started freelancing, my “office” (aka my Starbucks) was in that town.

We rarely, if ever, invited people over because we didn’t want to make people drive all the way to us. The kids didn’t have playdates because all of their friends lived north of us.

This past week, on a night neither M nor I wanted to cook, we hustled the kids into the car and went out for Mexican food… in our town.

We drove 5 minutes and were downtown in the town we’d been pretending was ours for so long, but is actually ours now.

I looked around me and started to feel what I’ve always felt when I came to this town – a little bit like an imposter, a little bit like an outsider. And then I realized.

This is my town now. This is where my kids will grow-up. We have library cards to the neighborhood library. We can call friends and be at a playdate in 5 minutes or less. We run into friends at the park, at the grocery store, in the street. The pretense is over and is giving way to reality.

We’re home. Finally.

7 responses

  • Always a nice feeling! I’m glad you’ve been able to settle where you feel you belong. :-)

    I hope to come see you up at “your” Starbucks again…text me sometime when it might work for you!

  • Love this. I hope to be in ‘our town’ someday. We still haven’t found it.

  • Yay! So happy you have found your town. :)

  • Welcome Home, Sweet Lady. This move just keeps getting better and better.

  • Just so you know…I LOVE your town and will happily visit whenever I’m visiting!

  • Beautiful post Jessica! I want to come visit you now :)

    I actually live out in the country directly in the middle of 2 towns. My kids do swimming lessons and go to the parks in the smaller one and then they go to school, dance class and church at the other one. I don’t see the problem with doing things in different towns – it is the people you love and the relationships you make in the town that matter most right?

  • We finally found “our” town after 10 years of marriage and 5 kids. We’ve never really been happy anywhere we’ve lived and the kids haven’t ever really been totally comfortable either — until we packed up and moved 7 hours away from our hometown… 11 hours away from the town we “called” home for 8 years, and we moved north of Atlanta. It’s perfect. We’re all happy, we’re all comfortable and nothing else in the world matters. I’m so glad that you got your split residentiality disorder (lol) cured!!

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