3 Tips For Looking Fabulous in Your BlogHer Photos

At EVO'11 I had the good fortune to attend a photo session taught by the awesome Me Ra Koh*,  during which she was kind enough to share with us something she had presented in a photo tips segment for the Nate Berkus Show: The Secret to Looking Great in Photos.

No, it did not involve losing 15lbs and getting better make-up. It's just three, super simple tips, that we can all easily put to work.

That's it. Really. Three super easy tips that I guarantee will change your life and will stop you from cringing when you see the words "So&So tagged you in a photo!" pop up in your email inbox. Trust me. If it can work for me, it can work for you.

Tip 1: Turn your body at an angle and lean into the camera

Remember when you were at school and the photographer kept making you face the camera and smile?

Yeah. Don't do that any more.

We all share the same fear of the camera, so when someone points a lens in our direction, we tend to square our shoulders and lean back. If you're me, you also do some funky thing with your chin. (Don't ask.) Even the skinniest supermodel looks boxy when photographed head on. So, take a page from their book, and turn yourself at a slight angle to trick the camera into showing you at your slimmest.

And then, when you have the angle down, slightly lean towards the photographer.

Feel silly? Let me demonstrate why this works.

Stand in front of a mirror and lean slightly back.
What do you see? A double chin, right?

Now, instead, try leaning into your reflection.
What do you see this time? Instant smoothing out of your neck and facial lines.

So, angle yourself towards the camera, drop your shoulders, and lean into the camera, putting your weight slightly on your front foot.

Instant transformation.

Tip 2: Scootch forward in your seat

If you're sitting when the camera comes at you, scootch forward until you're perched on the edge of your seat.

The reasoning behind this is simple. If you sit back, or lean back against the backrest, perspective dictates that your thighs will look disproportionately big compared to the rest of you. And I don't know about you, but my thighs need no help looking any bigger!

So, scootch forward, angle yourself slightly, and lean into the photographer!

Tip 3: Refuse to let anyone shoot you from below

Unless the photographer is kneeling to snap a shot of your cute shoes, don't ever let anyone snap you from below. Seriously, can you say triple chin?

See for yourself, get down on your knees and look up at people.
What do you see? Rolls, chins, and all those other things you want to camera to ignore, not enhance.

So, instead, invite the photographer to stand on a chair and shoot down. Then... you guessed it... lean into the photo!

Three little tops that will change the way you feel about your BlogHer photos and all other photos you're ever in! You're welcome.

*Yes, I have a hero worship crush thing going. What can I say, she's worth it!

Getting Through the Toddler Years - A huge ($250!) GoodNites Giveaway

There are countless lists of things you need when you're gearing up to survive your child's infancy. Whole books have been devoted to this topic, and should you need a little extra help, there are also entire websites just waiting to help you figure out what you'll need and why for every second of your baby's first months.

By the time your kidlet figures out how to pull up and cruise his way around the furniture the people in charge of creating these lists most likely figure that you have a pretty solid handle on what your child likes or that you now have a solid network of friends who can help clue you in.

Of course, it never hurts to get a little extra help or a few more recommendations.

For instance, I was thrilled when a friend told me that I could just roll up a towel and slide it under the edge of the sheets to keep my preschooler from rolling out of her new big-girl bed instead of spending a ton of money on a bed rail. The roll makes her feel snug and safe while allowing her to slip out of bed to use the potty when she remembers she needs to go.

I was equally delighted to hear a mom friend talk about a genius little alarm clock that changes color when it's time to get up. Since we set it up we no longer have to be serenaded with “Is it time to get up yet?” screams from 6am on.

The other GoodNites bloggers and I put our brains together and came up with a brilliant list of items that can make these potty training and betwetting years a little easier on hardworking parents. Even better, we're all giving away a full set of these items to one lucky winner on each of our blogs.

No. Really.

So, check out this insane list of goodies and see below the one small thing you have to do to be entered to win!

GoodNites® Product Vouchers – So you can experience dry nights
A Skip Hop ZooPack BackPack – Who doesn't need an adorable backpack?
A Foogo Drinking Cup – Heathly and always handy! 
Bob Book – For a little pre-bed reading!
Toothbrush and Hand Washing Timer – Can't go to bed without clean hands and clean teeth!
Night Time Chore Cards – A smooth bedtime routine is key to getting a great night's sleep.
KC Wipes – No need to explain this essential mom tool!
Bubbles – After a great night there's plenty of energy for a lot of fun!
Crayons, Stickers – and a lot of creativity!
Movie Passes – For that first movie experience!
$100 Gift Card (AMEX) – To reward mom and dad for all their hard work!

To enter please leave a comment below sharing your favorite bedtime ritual.

Extra entries:
- Tweet this giveaway using the #GoodNites hashtag (one per day- Leave a comment with the hyperlink to each giveaway.)
- RSVP for the GoodNites® Twitter party. (See below for details)

Giveway will run from Wednesday, July 27th to Wednesday, August 3rd. Winner will be announced on Thursday, August 4th  
Giveaway is now CLOSED. Thank you to all who entered!
The winner is... Jaime McHugh, #112! Congratulations!

This post is part of a series of posts sponsored and inspired by GoodNites®. Stay tuned as I introduce you to great products and tips to get you through the ups and downs of nighttime accidents. In the meantime, check out the NiteLite™ Panel, hosted  by GoodNites®, where professionals share more information about bedwetting.

I am a GoodNites® Blogger Ambassador and I am being compensated for this series of posts, but, as always, the stories, thoughts, and opinions featured in these posts are mine and mine alone.

I love to have coffee with my friends

For the longest time after I quit my job and most of my friends fled this too-expensive-to-live-in-state, I bounced around from coffee shop to coffee shop, working a few hours here, a few hours there, and never feeling entirely at home.

I loved the coffee and the ambiance, the wifi was usually good and free, and I had few if any complaints about the tables or chairs.

What I lacked was friendship.

Coffee shops are essentially a meeting place for friends. They gather around hot drinks to share gossip and news, to chat about silly inane things, or to have deep conversations held in hushed tones too low to hear over the general hustle and bustle. For sure there are also plenty of people who huddle behind their laptops working feverishly, hoping no one will call them on their abusive use of the table space, but the real function of a coffee shop is to stop time so friends can connect between the racing minutes of their day.

For the longest time I had no such friends.

My friends were inside the computer, and while I technically was hanging out with them in the coffee shop, it wasn't enough for me.

I don't know what possessed me - gregarious and outgoing when at ease, but shy beyond belief when out of my element - to decide to check out the mom's group at my daughter's preschool, but the morning of the first meeting arrived and, because Egmos* wasn't able to come up with a good reason not to go, I pushed the door open and stepped into the group of moms milling around the breakfast buffet.

I made one connection that day. The next time I went, I made another.There were days when I didn't hang out with anyone and days when I discovered new kindred spirits.

By the end of that year I had signed up to be on the steering committee of the group. Even more importantly I had a host of new friends, friends who would spot me at my table at the coffee shop and would stop to chat for a minute.

At first I almost resented these interruptions of my work, and then I grew to love them.

A wave, a smile, and a nod towards the empty chair in front of me, and my friend would slide into the seat, putting down the coffee, eyes shining and full of stories. I'd close my laptop and pick up my own cup, and for a blessed moment, I'd be connected to someone real, someone there, someone who, despite living their very different life, could utterly relate to mine.

These coffee moments have given me back a piece of who I was in college. For a moment, it's not about the kids, the work, the husband. For that instant it's about us, sharing ideas, thoughts, or stories about our days, just being in the moment, just being alive and feeding our souls from the connection.

The impromptu coffee dates are never very long, but they fill my mornings with love. After the visitor of the day has moved on to the rest of her chores and errands, I open up my laptop, and, feeling a bit more alive, a bit more in touch with myself, I can dive back into my work, smile playing on my lips.

*Egmos: my own personal Evil Green Monster of Self Doubt who resides in my head and makes me miserable when I let him.

This post was inspired by the second Kick In The Blog prompt "What do you love to do?" Clearly there are a lot of other things I love to do, but this year, I've really savored these short coffee moments. These friends have been a saving grace in the middle of a lot of challenges - my little islands of normalcy in the middle of the chaos.

If you're ever in a blogging rut or in need of a little bloggy inspiration, I hope you'll stop by Kick In The Blog to see what prompts I've posted.

Come give your blog a kick!

The Professor Who Saw What No One Else Saw

In France, college is structured differently than in the States. Instead of having four years to figure out what you want to do with your life, you go to college to study a specific profession.

I started out with the mistaken idea that I wanted to be a doctor, but it turns out I'm not a fan of being around sick people all day. And I'm really, really, really bad at math and physics, two subjects my med school professors were all hung up about.

So, I finished out the first year of med school and signed up for law school. I had no real desire to actually be a lawyer. I was just lured into the program by promises of no math and no sciences. As a bonus I was accepted into the parallel English Lit program, which I joined because, duh, easy for this little American girl to ace an English program in France.

To make a long story short, I loathed law school. I mean, really hated it with a passion. All the professors wanted us to do was learn stuff by rote and spit it back out verbatim. There was no creativity whatsoever involved in any of the classes. It crippled me and I really struggled through the classes.

There were almost 4000 of us in that program. I was one of many who was failing my way through the classes. Each TA had hundreds of students assigned to him. And they definitely had their hands full with the students who actually showed some legal promise.

It almost goes without saying that most of the TAs and professors wrote me off without a glance back. What was extraordinary is that one man didn't. His name was Mr. Nguyen. I would drag myself to his class, sit in my chair, and despondently open my book. I'd look at the cases spread out in front of me and not make heads or tail of anything. They could have been written in Chinese and they wouldn't have been any less clear. He didn't yell. He didn't hound. He sat with me and walked me through cases. He kept me after class and helped me with the homework. He took the time to explain stuff.

It was like slogging through a dense bog. Even with his help I struggled.

One day he stopped in the middle of explaining some archaic legal point and said "I know you're ready to give up, but I also know you can do this and I'm asking you not to."

I don't know how he knew. I actually had been on the verge of giving up. I was, that very day, on my way to the office to ask them to pull me from the law program and put me in the English program full time. I was officially done with floundering my way through my classes. It felt like not only would no one care, but like no one would even notice.

His words stopped me. I didn't drop out that day or even that year. I passed his class and, thanks to him, I passed most of my other classes that year. I was held back due to failing History of the Law and Economics 101. And sometime during the following year, since I finally had time to focus on my other classes, I realized that English Lit wasn't just an easy A it was actually what I loved.

Today, I am clearly not a lawyer. I remember nothing that was taught in those classes. (All the law I know I learned from CSI and Law and Order.) But I can still see Mr. Nguyen's face and how he believed in me that year. I try to always remember that there's always someone who believes in me even when I feel invisible and insignificant. And it's never who I expect.

This post was inspired by a prompt I posted on a new blog I just launched. I thought I'd be writing about my husband, my sister, or my mom when I came up with "Who believes in you?" as the first prompt, because all three of them not only believe in me, but push me to be a better writer and better person every day. Then I remembered Mr. Nguyen who wasn't family or even a friend and who still believed in me beyond the call of duty. I wanted to say a silent thank you to him for being there exactly when I needed him and for helping me get through the toughest year I knew in college.

If you're ever in a blogging rut or in need of a little bloggy inspiration, I hope you'll stop by Kick In The Blog to see what prompts I've posted.

Come give your blog a kick!

9 Great Reasons to Jump On the Pinterest Bandwagon

You might have heard about Pinterest, a hot new social media service started by - who else - some Bay Area guys. It's like Stumble and flickr had a baby and the baby was way better than the sum of its parents. Oh, and it's going to be your biggest addiction since Twitter and Facebook combined. I kid you not.

You might be thinking "who needs another social media addiction?"

Other than the obvious answer, (Uh, who doesn't?) here are 9 great reasons to click over and see for yourself.

1)  You love mouthwatering photos of foods you'll never really attempt to cook, but like to think that in another life you might have. You know. If you had more time or got off the computer some days.


2) You need great photos and quotes to inspire you to work off the virtual calories you inhaled with #1.

3) You lap up photos of adorable crafts you'll never do with your kids.

4) You enjoy torturing yourself with endless party ideas that you'll entertain while pretending that you next party will not involve an open bag of chips, store bought cupcakes, and juice boxes.

5) You have a secret fetish you never give in to... except in images. (Shoes anyone?)

6) You can't get enough of pictures of all the places you want to see around the world, but worry that you'll never visit other than virtually from your couch.

7)  You love to drool over awe-inspiring images of homes and home decor that you might one day aspire to... you know... if you can ever get control of the mess in your home.

8) You love to drool over awe-inspiring organization solutions that might make you one day arrive at #7 if you could ever get off your couch and put them into effect.

9) You want to see countless photos of puppies, kittens, babies, llamas, sea otters, and a million other adorable things. (aka, welcome distraction from ever considering putting anything from #1,2, 3, 4, 6, 7, or 8 into effect.)

Come on, you know you want to Pin this...

Join us. You won't regret it. (Leave a comment if you want an invitation!)

18 Signs You Might Be a Blogger...

Two blog conferences down and one to go... Bloggers are an interesting crowd; one that inspired the following list.

You might be a blogger if...

1. You use the words "snarky" or "kwim" in real sentences.
2. You coin words like "blama" (blogger drama) and think nothing of the fact that no one knows what you're talking about.
3. You never take a bite before snapping a picture of your food. 
4. You converse and think in 140 character increments.
5. You mentally write a blog post about everything you do or see. 
6. You expect people to give you free stuff just for showing up.
7. You're often tempted to scream "Do you know who I AM?!" when things don't go your way. 
8. You think nothing of having a laptop, iPad, and smart phone open and running at the same time. 
9. You know where every outlet is located at all times. 
10. You introduce yourself with two names - your "real" name and your twitter handle - and don't really expect anyone to recognize the first one. 
11. You know more about your friends in the computer than the ones in the carpool lane.
12. Your friends are scattered around the globe and you've met fewer than a handful in real life.
13. You snap photos of your baby doing disgusting or dangerous things before running to her rescue.
14. You're part of a top secret Facebook group, Stumble community, or Skype chat room.
15. You're the "mayor" of every business in your town."
16. Your Twitter followers know you're pregnant, engaged, or getting divorced before your family or friends.
17. You've officially out-geeked even the geekest of your middle-school friends and know how to code your own site.
18. You have another 10 things to add to this list. (Go on, add them in the comments!)

(Thank you to the awesome Shannan Powell for helping me compile this list. And to all of you for giving me the examples.)

Take What You Need

The last keynote is always the hardest to attend. Bags need to be packed, last moments with friends need to be savored, carbs need to be ingested to prep for the last party, and frankly, all too often you're just conferenced out by the time the mic is adjusted and the last speaker clears her voice.

Yesterday, for the first time in my conference history, I didn't blow off the last keynote. Instead I picked my seat carefully a full 30 minutes before it was due to start.

Me Ra Koh was speaking and I knew it was going to be special.

I've been a fan of hers since I attended her photography class at BlogHer'08 and, despite attending her session just on Friday, I couldn't wait to hear her speak again. Told you I was a fan.

I was so not disappointed.

I strive for authenticity and vulnerability when I write. I want to let you in and share things that are not only meaningful, but also heartfelt and personal. I let my guard fully down when I sit at the computer and I invite you into my heart and head, trusting that you'll be gentle with what you find there.

I only ever do that from the safety of my couch, with my computer securely between me and the world.

Me Ra Koh did it in front of hundreds of attendees, each hanging on her every word, emotion etched into our expectant faces. The only thing she had to cling to and hide behind was a relatively small microphone.

It didn't stop her.

She shared her intensely personal story - the path that led her to photography - pausing for a moment to explain the words "date rape" to the youngest audience members, flew us to Thailand and made us watch as she and her daughter battled dengue fever, awed us with tales of monkeys cheering her 10 year old through the worst of the pain, and, finally, inspired us with the story of that same 10-year-old's unwillingness to let the experience cow her.

It was, in a word, amazing.

I cried. I laughed. I wooop-woooped like a monkey, and I feverishly took notes between wiping tears from my eyes.

She spoke to everyone in that room and everyone was touched in different ways.

Some took to heart her "If you know that fear and doubt would always be with you, what would you stop putting off now?" message.

I heard her ask me how I could let my creative voice sing out more often and be silenced less frequently.

I also took away a strong desire to travel more with my family instead of always leaving them at home to wait for me. Maybe we'll wait on Thailand thought. That dengue stuff sounds pretty horrendous.


Here's the full keynote for you to enjoy. The sound is messed up at first, but improves as it goes along. Don't forget your tissues.

Still wetting the bed? Your kid isn't alone.

When I was a kid, one of my favorite cousins always refused to sleep over at my house. When I was at her place she never let me sleep in her room. I was little and never thought much of it until one night when, woken up by some middle of the night commotion, I stepped out into the hall and witnessed my aunt coming out of my cousin's room, arms laden with wet sheets. 

She shooed me back to my bed, but not before I had connected the shameful dots. 

My cousin, my seven-year-old cousin, still wet the bed.

Back then I was mortified; today I know better.

Bedwetting is not a willful thing. It can be caused by a large range of issues, but most often, it's a simple body maturity issue. Sometimes the bladder doesn't mature as fast as the rest of the body. Couple that with the deep sleep of innocent children and you get some unfortunate incidents.

According to the National Kidney Foundation, bedwetting affects approximately six million children age 4+ in the United States alone . The condition is more common in boys than in girls and tends to occur more frequently in first-born children than in younger siblings.

So, as I sit here and wonder if I remembered to put a diaper on Little L when I tucked her in, and I wonder further about how much longer that's going to be an issue, I remind myself that she's not even four yet. She could well be bedwetting for years to come. Lucky for her people are much better informed today than when my cousin was little. At least I am.

If you're interested in learning more about the causes of bedwetting and how it affects children and their families, I highly recommend the new GoodNites.com site. It's a treasure trove of information on the subject.

This post is part of a series of posts sponsored and inspired by GoodNites®. Stay tuned as I introduce you to great products and tips to get you through the ups and downs of nighttime accidents. In the meantime, check out the NiteLite™ Panel, hosted  by GoodNites®, where professionals share more information about bedwetting.

I am a GoodNites® Blogger Ambassador and I am being compensated for this series of posts, but, as always, the stories, thoughts, and opinions featured in these posts are mine and mine alone.

Traveling without wingmen

I know I just got home. In fact, my last suitcase isn't even fully unpacked yet. But I'm once again jumping into a plane at the crack of dawn tomorrow to head to another blog conference.

I'm really excited to see Utah for the first time.

I'm really excited to learn and connect with new faces and brands.

And I'm really anxious about doing it all without a wingman.

I've gone to conferences before without my posse. BlogHer08 was the first, followed by TypeA last year and I should take heart from the fact that both were a ton of fun and not as scary as I had envisioned.

And yet, today, I'm nervous.

I'm going to be fine. I'm going to meet new people and strengthen bonds with bloggers I already know. I'm going to come out of this smarter and better connected. Plus, it's good for me to step out of my comfort zone and rely on myself instead of my friends.

The worst that's going to happen is that I'll eat a meal or two alone. But knowing the people attending, I highly doubt that's going to be an issue.

And yet... I'm nervous. Go figure.

Part of the posse I'll be missing in Utah.

Happy Birthday America

We celebrated just right...

Fun on the beach. Sunburn for mommy included.

And staying up way past our bedtime...

to see fireworks in the distance.

Hope your 4th was memorable. 

What are you doing with all your freedom?