Generational Christmas Tree

We gathered tonight, little cousins in pajamas, parents with cameras and wine glasses, to trim the tree with ornaments collected over the years starting when my sisters and I were babies ourselves.

Ornament from my sister's first Christmas.

One of my favorite childhood ornaments.

The collection has grown over the years as our mother diligently added one or two every Christmas.

Sometimes the old ornaments are joined by newer counterparts.

And then there are just the ones we all love without remembering when or how they appeared.

For the first time, this year C added her own ornament to the mix. She carried it all the way to Chicago, clutching it in her feverish hand on the plane even as she slept off the effects of her 24hr stomach bug.

When all the ornaments are jumbled in the box it never looks like much. But as they come out one by one a magical transformation takes place. All the stories and memories come together and weave a tree that's worthy of another year of Christmas memories.

Reading at the end of the day

In recent months I've started turning away from reading board books to the girls at night and have started spending more time reading chapter books. Instead of cuddling on the couch to read a huge stack of books, we brush teeth first and then head to their cozy bedroom. C climbs into bed and I pull out a puzzle for Little L.

While C can completely sit through an entire chapter with no pictures, Little L gets much too squirmy and whiny for my tastes. She works on her puzzle and listens to the story; little hands busy enough to let the story flow uninterrupted.

I was an avid reader as a kid - still am really - and I love that C is getting into these chapter books. I started by focusing on classics like Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, but recently we've been reading stories about girls just like mine - spunky, funny, and always sure they're behaving just right even when they're not. Juny B Jones and Clementine are our current favorites, but I'm expanding our horizons and loving discovering this new genre.

C is learning to read. She can already sound out basic board books and I see in the not so distant future the time when she'll be reading these books to herself. But for now I'm treasuring those quiet moments in their room, with Little L at my feet and C lying beside me, as I share stories of girls just like them.

This post was sponsored by Kabongo, a wonderful online world of brain-boosting games for reading, in support of developing reading skills in kids.

I'm taking a real vacation

The last time I took a vacation and left the computer behind was when C was a year old and M and I went to Hawaii for a friends' wedding.

Other than a short weekend away two years ago, each of our vacations since then have been centered on family visits. Either here or away, and have been colored by me saying things like "I'm going to be off, but I can still take care of X, Y, Z while I'm gone."

Last Christmas I spent the week putting the finishing touches on the January issue of the newspaper. This past summer I spent every morning working on things for Tiny Prints and for another job I had taken on shortly before everyone arrived in town.

Working vacations are not relaxing. They are stressful for everyone involved. The kids are frustrated because I'm not paying attention to them. M is annoyed that I have no time for him or that I'm constantly distracted. And I'm tired because I stay up way too late finishing up stuff I couldn't do while I was enjoying quality family time during the day.

Last Christmas I was so stressed about the paper that I essentially missed the short four days my little sister was able to spend with us before having to go back to work. And for what? For nothing, because the paper didn't end up going to press on time.

This year I've cleared my schedule. I'm taking care of my obligations ahead of time. I have a couple blog posts that need to go up over the next few days, but after that... I'm off. Really, really off. As in, shut off the computer, pick up a book or a doll and enjoy my family, off.

M doesn't think I can do it.

I don't think I can afford not to. I need this break. I need the down-time. I need to spend a week living in the real world and enjoying the things that make all the long hours and all the work worthwhile. And while I'm at it I'm going to regroup and think about the big picture. That is, if I have time in the middle of all the holiday fun.

It's not about the Happy Meals, it's about the parenting

I've admitted in the past that we are regular McDonald's consumers. I'm not ashamed of it. We make pretty decent choices when we're there. The kids get Happy Meals with apple slices and milk. We get a side order of apple walnut salad and the kids eat more fruit than fries.

No one gets a toy until they've eaten all their apples and finished their milk.

Could we be eating at home? Sure.

Could they be eating better that night? Probably.

Do I let my kids tell me what they'll eat and when? No. Never.

It's a treat. It's an easy way for us to eat together without having to run home and cook first. It's counterbalanced with well balanced meals at all other times. My kids love their veggies and eat them easily.

We eat at McDonald's and my kids still know all about nutritional eating. They usually eat their apples first.

So when I see stories about people suing McDonald's because (and I quote) "The woman, Monet Parham of Sacramento, claims that the marketing of Happy Meal toys has interfered with her ability as a parent to provide her two children with a healthful diet."

I'm sorry, what? This article and law suit have made my eyes bug out with unanswered questions.

Let's start with this: marketing is interfering with her parenting?

Does her TV not have an off button? (It's the red one on the remote if the TV doesn't have one.)

Does she not control what her children watch? (Pst! PBS. No commercials. DVDs. No commercials. No TV. No commercials.)

Is she not the boss of her children? (Who drives them to McDonalds? Who does the grocery shopping? Who has the power to say no?)

How about, instead of blaming marketing and large institutions, we accept the responsibility that comes with having children.

Marketing exists. Things that are unhealthy exists. The world is not clearly labeled for easy and healthy consumption. It us up to us to teach our children to make good choices. The world will bombard them with information and sometimes the information is going to be brightly lit in attractive colors and come packaged with fun toys.

We have two choices. We can see what the world is throwing at our kids and teach them how to handle it. Or we can let our kids see us turn around and blame the people doing the throwing. The first option leads to grown-ups who stand on their own two feet, have a solid sense of their values, and know how to navigate the world. The second option leads to grown-ups who blame everyone around them for their problems.

What's next for this woman and others like her? Blaming ToysRUs for the clutter in their kid's room?

Stop blaming everyone. Grow a backbone. Start parenting your kids. You're the boss. Not the TV.

The next Christmas hurdle

I am proud to report that I'm making amazing headway on the Christmas gifts.

I've bought M two more presents.

Ok, ok. I also bought gifts for my nieces and nephew, my sister, and my own girls. So, you see, I'm right on track.

Now all I have to do is find some serious winter-wear for everyone because my sister keeps calling to report the current temperature in Chicago. It always takes a moment for me to realize that she's talking about Fahrenheit and not Celsius. And then I just get scared. Because, dude? Zero or ten are scary numbers when they refer to temperatures. Especially for this little Californian family.

And in the meantime we're doing what we would have been doing last week if I'd been better organized. Addressing these... and mailing them out to our friends and family.

I've been neck deep in the holiday season for well over six weeks now, but it's finally starting to really feel like Christmas. Christmas for fun and for family rather than work. It's going to be awesome.

The Annual Christmas Sneak-up

You would think that working in a company that is intensely focused on the holidays that I would have it all under control.

I don't.

I didn't order my holiday cards until last week and I'm ashamed to admit this, but I've only bought two Christmas presents. Both are for my husband.

No, really. We leave for Chicago in 10 days and I have bought exactly... nothing.

Even worse, I have barely perused the lists that have been sent to me.

Hi, my name is Jessica. I sell Christmas cards for a living, but I am failing at Christmas.

Now who wants to bet that the credit card company gives me a call later this week because they're concerned about the increased activity on the card? Because, without getting off my couch, I'm going to attempt to work my way through all the lists and through all the awesome gift ideas I have. Here's hoping that the weather in Chicago doesn't throw a wrench in all the last minute shipping I'll be doing.

Seriously, sometime in early November next year someone remind me that this happens to me every single year? K? Thanks.

See? I really do sell cards! You can see me hard at work in this ABC 7 news clip!

Ripples of kindness - I need your help

I love doing little random acts of kindness. Helping a stranger here, doing a favor for a friend there. It makes me happy to give someone an unexpected reason to smile.

Last year Yahoo! organized a "pay it forward" campaign, urging people to perpetuate random acts of kindness. The campaign was so successful that they're doing it again this year - and asking the Yahoo! Motherboard to help spread the word.

So here's the deal.

I get $100 of seed money to start the ball rolling. Now, $100 in tiny increments can go a long way and while I know that kind of money could make a big difference to one family or one person, the challenge here is to create random acts of kindness, not random acts of charity.

I considered buying a $100 Starbucks card and asking the baristas to "buy" coffee for all the regulars at my Starbucks.
I considered paying for someone's gas.
I considered buying a bunch of paperback books and leaving them in public places.
Then I considered asking you.

So, what are your thoughts. If you had $100 to spread some kindness, what would you do?

How about if I told you that I'll give $50 to the two best ideas so you can go out and put them into effect. (This is above and beyond what Yahoo! is sponsoring for this project and not the money Yahoo! is giving me. That money will go towards the random acts of kindness you inspire.)

I'll pick the two best ideas to seed $50 to on Friday December 17th. You can comment and let me know that you're not interested in the money. That said, this is a kindness sharing campaign. If I send you the money I'm counting on you to do the right thing.

If you need inspiration hop on over to the Yahoo! Ripples of Kindness page where people are sharing their acts of kindness. It's neat to see.

So go on, go forth and comment and help me spread some joy already. Please?

*** PLEASE NOTE: This is for random acts of KINDNESS. I give to charity. This is different. This is bringing a smile to a stranger or friend completely and utterly regardless of need.****

Latkes, latkes, and more latkes

My Hannukah goal for this year was simple: make each candlelighting evening low key and family centric and find time to make latkes at least once.

We're only five days in, but so far we're doing really well. We've had only one night fraught with tantrums bad enough that I threatened to pull the plug on all festivities. The girls pulled it together and we managed to light the candles and cuddle under a blanket to read our books just like every other night.

Our evening routine usually involves one parent doing the reading while the other parent is cooking or cleaning up in the kitchen. During Hannukah we make a point of all gathering on the couch, one big happy family, to read a few books, always ending with The Runaway Latkes, because it makes us all laugh when we read the refrain together.

Tonight our favorite book played in our favor. M and I worked on making two types of latkes, fully believing that neither child would touch them. And yet, when we sat down, both of them were willing to taste the new foods and C discovered a taste for them.

If that isn't a Hannukah miracle, I don't know what is.

Want to know what these miraculous latkes were? Keep scrolling...


Nigella Lawson's Apple Latkes (As featured in the Dec 2010 Food Network Magazine)
These turned out to be something like apple fritters. They made M's eyes roll back in his head with joy. 

Cooks Country Crispy Potato Pancakes (As featured in Cooks Country in March 2006)
These are my favorite latkes; light, tasty, and easy to make.

2 tbsp Vegetable oil
5 cups frozen shredded hash-brown potatoes
4 tbsp unsalted butter
1 lrg egg
2 scallions, chopped fine
1 tbsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp Salt
1/2 tsp pepper
Cooking Spray

1) Heat oven to 475 and put rack on the upper-middle spot. Coat a rimmed baking sheet with vegetable oil.
2) Place hash-browns and butter in large microwave safe bowl. Cover tightly and microwave on high until butter is melted and hash-browns are defrosted. (Abt 5-7 minutes). Stir well and cool.
3) Whisk egg, scallions, cornstarch, salt, and pepper together until thoroughly combined. Add to the hash-brown mixture and stir until incorporated. Divide mixture into 10 balls and set aside on a large plate.
4) Place oiled baking sheet in oven and heat until oil is just beginning to smoke. (Abt 6 minutes) Remove baking sheet from oven and quickly place potato balls on baking sheet. Spray each ball with cooking spray and press it down to pancake height.
5) Bake until pancakes are golden brown on the bottom - about 10 minutes. Take pan out of the oven, flip the pancakes, and bake for another 8 minutes. Enjoy with apple sauce or sour cream.

Life Lived Wholeheartedly

Out of the blue this morning a friend emailed me the link to the YouTube video of a TedTalk that aired this past summer. All her email said was

"I posted this on Facebook, but I really mean it... this is 20 minutes that I want you to watch. Brené is amazing! It is what I've LIVED for the last 3 years."

I had a million things to do, pages to edit, emails to send, friends to call, plans to make, and attitude to check. I pulled into the Starbucks parking lot and got ready to get out of the car fully intending to watch it... later. Instead I tapped the link and sat there as the video played.

Some days you follow your gut instead of your head.

Brené Brown, the researcher speaking in the video, spent years trying to understand how certain people manage to live their lives wholeheartedly. No matter what, they deal with what life throws at them and just get on with living - upbeat, happy-go-lucky. She was mesmerized by the phenomenon and studied it until she could understand it. It took her 10 years.

I want you to watch the video for yourself. Trust me, you have 20 minutes to spare. But here's what I gleaned from it. 

Everything in life boils down to the connections you make. 

Courage is the ability to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. 

In order to experience real connections you must have the courage to be willing to let go of who you should be so you can embrace who you actually are. 

 And last, but not least...

Vulnerability is the core of shame, fear, and the struggle for worthiness. Vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.  So if you don't let yourself be vulnerable to the bad things in life, you won't be able to let yourself see and appreciate the great things either.

For a while I've been struggling with feeling less than I could or should be. I've been watching myself with a hyper critical eye and berating myself for not measuring up to the inflated expectations I was setting for myself. 

I wasn't allowing myself to embrace who I really am. 

I was forgetting to take note of the great things in my life now.

I was keeping myself from enjoying being the me I am today.

I know all these things. I coach M in embracing them every day. I nag him when he forgets and lets himself get lost in the past, future, or what-ifs. And yet I forgot. 

The video ended and I felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. I smiled a lot more today than I have all week. I forgave myself for not being and doing everything I could or should be. I enjoyed being me.