A Winner and Some Ethics to Protect Potential Wimpy Kids

Just wow. Seriously. Just wow. I mean, there are just no other words.

I asked for Wimpy Kid/Embarrassing school stories. I didn't expect to want to cry as the comments rolled in, each more heartbreaking than the last.

Did I mention that my kid starts Kindergarten in a week? Couldn't you people have gone easy on me? Never have I been happier to have picked the particular school I picked for her.

The things kids do to each other defies the imagination. Or maybe I'm too darn nice and ethical. But seriously, I couldn't have thought up half the stuff that people mentioned in the comments. Nor do I ever want to.

I wish I could give each and every one of the people who commented a prize and a hug, or maybe ten hugs and a couple pats on the back.

Sadly I only have one prize to hand out, the hugs and pats on the back will have to be virtual. But before I announce the winner I wanted to point out one of the items in the backpacks, because if the comments are anything to go by, we should all be reading this book over and over and over to our kids. Just in case.

E is for Ethics, by Ian James Corlett is a cute book made up of 26 little stories each with a short easy lesson. It teaches acceptance, politeness, courage, kindness and a host of other great concepts that just might help our children learn how to stand up to bullies and stand up for their friends if they're ever under attack.

You can't tuck yourself into your kid's backpack or their jacket pocket. You won't always be there to protect them and teach them what to say in the heat of the moment. But with Corlett's help your voice in their ear might be just a hair louder when it's most necessary.


And now? A winner! Drumroll please....

#3! Aka: Sweepmom who hopefully did not end up giving birth to a freckle. Because, dude, how do you diaper a freckle? Congratulations!

Didn't win? Want a chance at winning another backpack filled with over $300 worth of goodies? Swing by our Back-to-school Fill the Backpack Twitter Party tomorrow evening (Wednesday, September 1st) at 7pm PST. LOTS of prizes including a number of these very same back packs! Click here to RSVP to be eligible to win prizes. See you there!

Mental check-out for a weekend

On Sunday night I looked at my blog dashboard and I felt... nothing. No guilt about the campaign posts I'm supposed to write, no tug to blog about the weekend, no inspiration to write anything.

In the past I've often felt compelled to write for the sake of writing, but this weekend I felt none of that.

I pushed myself so hard this summer. I worked while family and friends were in town, staying up way too late to fulfill my obligations. I spent the summer torn in a million directions, always thinking three steps ahead, always lamenting the lack of time to sit back and enjoy the last summer before my kids started school.

I had promised myself that we'd take mornings off, playing in the backyard, enjoying the dog days, but we did nothing of the sort.

Granted, here in Nor Cal, we had no dog days this summer. In fact, we barely had a summer to speak of, so there would have been no pool frolicking on any morning, but still, there could have been more cuddling, more downtime, more crafting.

Instead there was work, work, and when that was done, more work and guilt about all the work that still had to get done.

This past weekend marked the first weekend with no looming Monday morning deadlines. No articles, no work, nothing. A long, sunny weekend to just be with my family.

I slept, played, read, and together we all painted the girls' new bunk bed and shopped for furniture for their big-girl room. We cuddled. We danced. We ate. We just relaxed. And come Sunday night I didn't want to turn on my writer's brain and analyze it all. I wanted to just keep on being.

So I turned off the computer and went for a run. Then I came home, showered and slipped into bed, where I slept, not at all tormented by having neglected my blog for a night. 

I hope you found it in your heart to forgive me. 

Starting the Year of Awesome on the right foot

My goals were simple: get back to my book and get back on my feet. So far I'm hitting both out of the park.

Monday morning dawned bright, warm, and full of promise. I took the girls to daycare and headed to my favorite Starbucks where I sat down and answered emails, futzed around on Facebook, chatted on Twitter, and finally, finally, opened the file that holds my novel.

I set the timer for 45 minutes and turned off the Internet access to my computer. And then... I started editing.


Getting back into the story, reconnecting with the characters, all of it was heady. I love writing fiction. I love seeing what I've written. I love making it even better. I could have kept editing for hours, but my new Gruve activity monitor was buzzing like crazy at my waist, telling me to get up and move. 

Because yes, I'm also getting off my duff and back on my feet. Monday I started Couch to 5 K from scratch and every evening this week I've gone for a walk. I'm using the Gruve to monitor when I need to get up and move. (It buzzes if you've been sedentary for more than 45 minutes so that your body doesn't go into metabolic hibernation.)

It's only Thursday, but so far so good. The Year of Awesome is off to an encouraging start. It feels great to be back in control of my life and back to doing the things that make me feel good about myself - both in my head and my body. Next time I'm tempted to take on more than I can handle remind me of this moment. OK? Thanks.

A Wimpy Kid like every other. And a giveaway like none other!

So there I was, late as always, running like a bat out of hell to throw myself through the open doors of the Paris subway before they slammed shut leaving me to wait another ten minutes for the next train. The horn blasted and I sped up and just as the doors started to slide shut...

And that's when I tripped and fell flat on my face. At least I fell into the compartment and managed to pull my feet out of the way of the sliding doors. Sadly I fell right at the feet of a gorgeous guy.

Luckily he wasn't a classmate of mine. Even luckier I never saw him again. 

That fall was par for the course. I was never a cool kid. I had big glasses (some friends felt compelled to ask me why my cheeks needed glasses), I had zero sense of style (still don't), and I had big boobs about three years before any of my classmates even needed a training bra. Oh. And I liked to ride horses, read books on the playground, and hang out with the expat kids at my school.

I can't remember any particular moments of pure shame at school. No one ever locked me in my locker or pushed my head into a toilet. No one even really picked on me. I definitely never did anything to top my brilliant subway car entrance, and yet, watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid was like watching a painful flashback to my own school days.

School was awkward and anyone who loved their school days can just keep those stories to themselves.

For all you other people, who, like me, probably felt awkward and out of place at school, I want to hear your stories!

Queue the GIVEAWAY!

As you know, 7 other awesome bloggers and I have banded together to "Fill the Backpack." The backpack is now (almost) full and it's time to find a home for it.

Post one of your own wimpy kid/awkward school moment below to be entered to win one of 16 Back to School Backpacks as part of the Fill the Backpack campaign. Backpacks include:

• FoxEntertainment is including both Diary of a Wimpy Kid & Marmaduke DVDs in our backpacks.
• PopChips donated a variety pack of PopChips & variety of coupons to each backpack.
• Every backpack will include BitDefender, security software for your PC.
• Orange Circle Studio is sending winners a “Do it all” planner & a family calendar.
• The backpack will include a variety of notebooks, folders, and binders from Carolina Pad.
• Rose Art is sending you back to school with glitter markers, dry erase board, and fun Color Blanks.
• Every backpack will include a ClassWish.org $25 Credit! Perfect for helping your community’s schools!
• DreamSakes is giving winners 20 free artwork scans! These are a great way to save or share your child’s masterpieces!
• Sun and Earth is sending a sampler pack to each winner.
• FamZoo, an online allowance management site, is including a year long membership
• Simon & Schuster added a great book, “E is for Ethics,” that will have you and your kids thinking!
• The backpack will contain either a LeapFrog Tag Reader with book set and US map, OR a LeapFrog
  Explorer with 2 games! (Penguins of Madagascar and Toy Story 3)
• Stonyfield Farms included coupons, awesome recycled plastic storage containers, & a few other surprises!
• Silver Dolphin added the “Human Body” book, and “Facts to Annoy your Teacher” books. Both are for kids!
• Sample tastes from Arizona Kids, Bear Naked, Cal Naturale Svelte, …

 … and more to come! This list will grown as more products are added by our sponsors

A peek at the loot!

Want to win one of these backpacks? Easy!

• Comment right here, sharing one of your "Wimpy Kid"/Awkward School Moment memories

Want more chances at winning? 7 other Backpack Bloggers are putting up giveaway posts too!

The winning entry will be selected via Random.org. Winners must be residents of the United States to win and will be contacted at the close of this contest, on August 31 at 10 pm EST. Winner will have 24 hours to reply to the e-mail announcing her win. If he or she does not respond within 24 hours, an alternate winner will be chosen.Winners can only win one backpack. If the winner has also won on another Backpack Blogger's site another winner will be chosen here.

Please Note: Fill the Backpack is sponsored by Ziploc and 20th Century Fox.  Our sponsors have generously contibuted to this campaign through products, monetary compensation, and have made The Dream Classroom Contest possible (cash prizes to be awarded through classwish.org).  Participating brands have contributed products to all 8 bloggers and to all 16 backpacks.

Happiness is yours to choose. No, really.

The other day a tweet flashed by in my Twitter stream. I can't remember the exact wording, but it said something to the tune of "I was having a fantastic day until someone said something that ruined it." I barely hesitated before firing off what could have been construed as a flippant answer.

"You can't control what someone says to you, but you can control how it makes you feel. You can choose to not let that person ruin your day."

The person replied a bit later, thanking me for reminding her that that was true.

As I was telling an old friend the story a few days later she said something that resonated in the same way I hope what I said resonated with that online friend.

"You can't always control how something someone says makes you feel, but you can control how long you let it make you feel that way."

Both of those statements essentially say the same thing. You're in control. It's your life. It's your head. It's your heart.

Do you want to be angry all day? Do you want to stew and gripe about every little incident and infraction that happens during the course of the day?

Happiness is not just an emotion, it's also a state of mind.

When someone cuts you off on the road and you spend the whole day irate about his bad driving, the only person you're hurting is you. When you let someone's innocent and possibly uninformed statement put you in a bad mood, the only person you're hurting is you. And when you spend your days looking for all the negative around you, once again, the only person you're hurting is you.

The way I see it, there's equal bad and good in the world, but there's only a finite amount of time in each day. How are you going to spend it? By focusing on the bad or noticing the wonders that are all around?

Next time someone does or says something that makes you grit your teeth, acknowledge what just happened, notice that it's annoying/hurtful/whatever, then let. it. go. If you're struggling to let it go, look around you and see if you can find five reasons to smile.

I guarantee the quality of your day will greatly improve.

Disclaimer: if you spend your days with toddlers or preschoolers none of this applies. While you're busy noticing five things that make you glad to be alive, they'll be busy destroying five other things, thus rendering the whole exercise completely and utterly moot. Take advantage of naps and night time to see how cute they are while they sleep. It makes the rest of the stuff more or less bearable.

And if you want to think more about ways you can be in control of your life and your emotions, take a look at the book Be the Hero. When I try to explain to people why I think this way I always come back to how Noah Blumenthal puts it. It's succinct, beautiful, and I guarantee it'll change your life. (And no, he didn't pay me to say that. So there.)

Realization dawns as the end nears

We've been talking about the end of daycare for months now. C has always known that when she started school she'd stop going. She's always known, but she's never really understood.

How could she? Every weekday for the last five years I've dropped her off at daycare and picked her up nine hours later. When she learned to speak she started referring to the place as home, and it was, to all extents and purposes it has been her second home for that entire time. Her daycare providers have been her extended family, people who have loved her intensely as she's gone through her infancy, her toddlerhood, her preschool years.  Her daycare friends have been like siblings. They've grown up together, day after day.

And now she has to go somewhere new. Somewhere completely foreign. Somewhere without her surrogate siblings. Somewhere without all those loving arms that have known her forever. 

Yes, really, forever. Or at least ever since she was 12 weeks old.

I've tried to stifle my own anxieties and mounting sadness about all this. Starting Kindergarten is stressful enough without having to also ponder the disappearance of an entire support system. But next week her closest daycare friends start Kindergarten and so this week there has been a lot of talk at daycare about how it's all coming to an end.

They even had cupcakes. As if frosting could make the separation easier.

And yet, until tonight, C has been chipper about everything. I made an offhanded remark about how I'm putting them to bed a bit earlier so they can start waking up a bit earlier to prepare for when we'll be getting up for school. As comments go it was pretty innocuous. I was closing the shutters and I missed her initial expression.

"Then I won't go to Kathleen's house any more?" She asked in a really quiet voice. I looked over. Her eyes were filling with tears and her lower lip had started to quiver. It didn't take long for her tears to spill over and her face to contort into a sad grimace. Only the ringing doorbell stopped my own tears in their tracks.

By the time I got back to their room the moment had passed. She was curled around her lovey, half asleep. I bent down to kiss her and hug her tightly.

"You'll go back. I promise. You'll go for vacations and to visit. It's not really over." I don't know who I was trying to comfort more. Me or her.

Wordless Wednesday: We let him out... sometimes

Best looking animal at the zoo...

We're Filling the Backpack! Yours, ours, theirs!

Eight awesome bloggers chatted one day on Skype. The covered the usual topics - kids, blogs, husbands, work, and then someone said "Hey! Let's put together a Back-to-School campaign!"  

Being the agreeable type that I usually am, I said "sure! Sounds fun!" I expected a few product ideas, maybe a few links back to each others blogs. I never expected what actually happened. 

We brainstormed for an evening and the project bloomed. From one small joint giveaway grew a fantastic project that I'm really proud to be a part of. 

So, as I fill my own daughter's first "big girl" backpack (Satiny Hello Kitty in white, hot pink, and black if you must know.) let us help you fill your kid's backpack and stock a teacher's classroom. Stay tuned for more details on the campaign which will stretch out until school has well and truly started for everyone! (Be sure to fan us on Facebook and friend us on Twitter to stay on top of all the excitement!)

“Fill the Backpack”
The Parent. The Student. The Teacher.

“Fill the Backpack” is an exciting back to school online event taking place across 8 blogs from August 16th – September 16th . We have partnered with Volunteer Spot and this event will be sponsored by Ziploc Brand and 20th Century Fox as well as other brands that have contributed to filling the backpack!
We will be giving away 16 backpacks overflowing with back to school surprises and hosting a Dream Classroom Contest for teachers and parents to submit a 200 word essay describing their dream classroom. Two entries will receive $500 to classwish.org to help assist in the building of the classroom of their dreams.

Meet the Bloggers!
Tech Savvy Mama – Leticia Barr
Just Precious – Julie Meyers Pron
The Centsible Life – Kelly Whalen
Detroit Mommies – Courtney Valasquez
It’s My Life – Jessica Rosenberg
Savvy Sassy Moms – Andrea Fellman
From Crib to Car Keys – Shannan Powell
Clueless Mama – Laurie Cooper

VolunteerSpot’s free online signup sheets save time, eliminate reply-all email, and make it easy for more parents to get involved at school. Register at VolunteerSpot before October 1, 2010 using promo code ‘“TeachersSave” for a chance to win $100 in free classroom supplies for the teacher of your choice from ClassWish.org.

Meet the “Fill the Backpack” Official Sponsor

Stay tuned to find out how you can enter to win a backpack or how you can enter your favorite teacher for a chance to win a dream classroom…

Is it back?

I've never been one to know when to slow down, take it easy, or even just take a breather. It's my biggest fault really. It's not that I don't know how to say no, it's that I don't like to do so. As soon as I lighten my load I find another project I want to take on.

My brain thrives on the challenge. My body, not so much.

I have a history of dealing with physical side effects of pushing myself too hard. Usually I get sick. A nice bout with the flu or a bad cold. Nothing drastic, just enough to lay me up for a day or two. My body's way of saying "Whoah there missy. Time for a nap or ten." Sometimes my sciatica flares up, a physical reminder that enough is enough and the couch is lonely. More recently though the issues have had to do with skin.

Ick. I know.

The rash that was finally (at very long last) diagnosed back at the end of January went away after a hard course of Prednisone and a radical lightening of my workload. As the itch faded and my skin started to look normal again I started to forget about why I had lightened my load. Once again I started saying yes, taking on more, and more, and more.

A few weeks ago the sole of my foot started itching. This week my scalp joined in the fun. Then my arm.

I don't know if it's the same rash. It very well could be. It doesn't really matter really. The underlying cause is more important in the end than the side effects.

I'm pushing myself too hard, too far again. I need to stop, breathe, and once again take a giant step back. My skin is literally trying to force me back into the present. (You try thinking about a million things while dealing with an unbearable itch!) I can get some medicine, I can take more steroids. But in the end the real cure is better time and resource management and maybe finally learning where my limits lie.

It's a good thing I've already started.

Not that that's helping my foot itch any less tonight.

School Year Resolutions

I've never stopped feeling like the start of the school year was the "real" start of the year. When the crayons and binders go on sale at Target I start to unconsciously take stock of my life.

This year I'm coming up short. Really, really short.

- I haven't run once since April 13th.

- For the last two months I've worked every night until midnight if not 1am.

- I've been working weekends.

- I've been dropping the ball on deadlines, promises, friends, family.
 - And worst of all, I haven't touched my novel since June 30th.

I'm disappointed in myself. I'm losing focus and allowing myself to get sidetracked from my true goals, from the things that really matter to me. I'm fulfilling other people's goals to the detriment of my health and my family.

It's not really working for me any more.

I'm a big believer in the adage "Live your passion and the money will follow." It's the path of true happiness. All too often though we get confused and reverse the phrase. But you know what? Following the money never leads to passion. At best it leads to more money in the bank.

I love writing fiction. Nothing else makes me feel more fulfilled or content. It's my passion. Sadly it's not a lucrative one. At least it's not a quickly or guaranteed lucrative one. But it is my passion and deep in my heart I know that if I pursued it properly it might lead somewhere. And yet, I can't seem to allow myself the time to do what needs to be done so I can succeed as a novelist.

The school year is looming. Bright Back-to-School posters have bloomed in every store window. Supplies and cute clothes are on sale. Kids are getting hair cuts and buying new shoes. Everything smells like fresh start and possibilities. I'm going to ride that wave.

Once again I'm going to attempt to take control of my life and my future. Happiness is a choice and I'm choosing happy.

I'm going to lighten my work load and I'm going to resist filling it right back up. I'm going to start running again. I'm going to pick a race to train for. I'm going eat better, sleep more, and generally take better care of myself. And last, but most definitely not least, I'm going to take the time to finish the edits on my novel so I can finally send it out.

As a friend said this weekend, this is going to be the year of awesome. I'm determined to make it so.

BlogHer: Where virtual meets reality and love

People. People everywhere. A throng of people in the elevator. Another throng outside the doors. Squeals explode right and left and virtual friends hug tight, delighted to be together, to be touching, smiling, looking in each other's eyes for once instead of at each other's words. Sometimes a second hug is exchanged, then a third. The hugs need to be stocked up until the next time they meet in person. Whenever that may be.

Strangers meet, exchange names, exchange online identities, and cry out when they realize this is no stranger, this is a friend. What started as polite conversation erupts into gleeful reconnection.

Strangers meet, exchange names, exchange online identities, don't recognize each other and still smile. We didn't know each other before. We do now. Next year we'll greet each other like old friends.

Once, twice, maybe in rare instances three times a year our friendships don't rely on typing and the internet. For days we are together, in person. The chatter is fast, furious, loud. So much has to be packed into those short minutes. Soon we'll be back behind our computers, screens separating us, typed words linking us together again.

On the last night those with an ounce of energy left danced with wild abandon, trying so hard to forget that in the morning it would all be over, like a dream that never really happened, our diaspora of a community once again flung to the far corners and edges of the country. It was easier to dance and smile and hug than to say

"I love you. You are my sisters. My soul mates. I miss you and wish I could hug you every day instead of once a year. With you I am the real me. The one who isn't afraid of what I could be. The one who is proud of who she is and what she does. Thank you. Thank you for being you and for loving the real me."

because when I tried the words bubbled up and got caught in the lump in my throat and the tears in my eyes.

Thank you. Thank you for being you and for loving me when I'm me. I can still feel your hugs and your wings beneath me.

Being there and with everyone was just like a fairytale. 

This cake was just extra fitting.

MyTouch Slide Android Learning Curve

This weekend M and I bit the bullet and traded in our BlackBerries - mine because it was a lemon and his because frankly without a data plan, the BB is just a heavy phone - and upgraded to Android phones.

To say that we're in love is the understatement of the year. We keep showing off something or other that we've just discovered, so our conversations since Friday night have been peppered with a lot of "That's so cool!" "Oh! You have to see this!" and lots of silence as we play with our new toys.

Today my discovery was the "Genius" button. It's aptly named as it is made of pure genius. Me, on the other hand not so much. Upon realizing that it would make the phone do whatever I spoke, I decided to try texting M.

"Text M: Genius button is genius." I spoke into my nifty new phone.

Sadly I need to work on my enunciation. Poor Martina (mom from a playgroup I was in for a few months five years ago) must be wondering why a random stranger texted her "Genius button is Kenya."

Hey, at least the phone was smart enough to capitalize the word Kenya.

Birthday with a side of whine

The big 3-year-old birthday weekend started with

and ended with

which all looks sweet and loving and fun, but in the middle there were a lot of tears and even more whining.

It seems that our delightful oldest, always the first to comfort, cuddle, and love on her little sister, always first to make sure everything is fair and shared, only does well when she's top dog.

And well, on her little sister's birthday, she wasn't, and she didn't like it one bit.

The whining started as soon as they woke up, once she realized that the pile of wrapped presents didn't contain one for her. I had warned her the night before that I didn't have something for her, but that we'd be going to ToysRUs sometime during the day so that Little L could pick out her bike and while we were there she'd be allowed to pick out one. small. toy.

She spent the entire day whining and begging to go to the toy store. And when I say the entire day, I'm not exagerating one bit. She whined in the house, she whined through lunch, she whined at the birthday party for her best friend, she whined before nap, she whined after nap, she whined at the zoo (after whining that she didn't want to go to the zoo), and she whined at dinner.

The only time she didn't whine? Was when we were actually at the store. Oh, and when she was busy being mean to her sister, the birthday girl.
 
I'm tough with C. I don't let her get away with much, and she's usually pretty easy and good which is why this weekend was extra painful. We hated seeing this side of her, this calculating and comparing side, which weighed every single thing to make sure she was getting equal compensation. It was a brutal awakening to the fact that when it comes to her and Little L we usually let her be the boss. Since she's usually so good at making sure that her sister gets her share, we didn't realize what was going on.

This weekend Little L was delighted to be the center of attention, delighted to get to call the shots, delighted to be the one getting the better toys. When C whined she'd just stamp her foot, declare "It's MY birthday!,"and completely refuse to back down.

This weekend marked more than just the beginning of Little L's 4th year, I think it also marked the beginning of a more fair space, where C isn't the only one who gets to decide what happens where. It's time for Little L to get her time in the sun. She's definitely not "just the baby" any more.