From the Mouths of Babes: 4yo fashion sense

Since I stopped working in an office my wardrobe has definitely taken a hit. Which, if you knew me back when I did punch a clock is probably a bit scary. In any case it explains C's surprise when I dressed up a bit last week for a blogger event I attended.

I slipped on a pair of favorite jeans, a classier than usual t-shirt, and my fancy sparkly shoes.

C took one look at me and her eyebrows shot up.

"Mommy! You look so fancy!"

"Too fancy?" I asked, because sometimes my social anxiety gets bad enough that I'm willing to take fashion advice from a 4-year-old.

"Nope. Fancy just right!" She nodded and gave me a thumbs up for extra emphasis.

I checked myself in the mirror and nodded too. She was right. I was fancy just right.

A new kind of letter writing

While I was in North Carolina I read a fabulous book. It was moving and funny and superbly written. It made me smile, and cry, and even better it really made me think.

First it made me think about book clubs and how they could be seriously improved.

Then it made me think about my own book and how I want it to move people the way the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society moved me.

Last it made me wonder what happened to good letter writing. It's an epistolary novel. The story unfolds witty letter after witty letter. They're well written, entertaining, really just delightful. I'm sorry, but there's really no other word.

When I closed the book after finishing it I was sad that all the letters were done and I wouldn't get to read another. Which led me to wonder about the demise of great letter writing.

I remember writing 16 page letters to my friends when I was a teen. I remember reading their 24 page replies. We went into excruciating details about our lives, our hopes, our fears... anything and everything that ever went on in our day to day lives. I loved imagining my friends reading my letters as I lay on my bed writing page after page.

Then the email was born and, even though we lived thousands of miles away from each other, in a few hastily typed paragraphs we could keep each other updated daily. But you know, I think that some of us had souls that craved those lengthier missives. The more poetic language reserved for letters. Even the lyrical qualities of epistolary stories.

We're the ones who started blogs.

Instead of writing our tales and directing them to just one person, we write them to anyone who will read them. We weave our stories and we post them online instead of posting them in the mail. We might not start any blog posts with the word 'Dear' or finish with "love, me" but these are letters nonetheless. Letters about our lives, our hopes, our fears... about anything that crosses our minds that we need to share with someone we love and trust.

I still wish I had it in me to write lengthy letters to my close friends, but I get frustrated at the thought of having to write the same information over and over again. It just seems easier to write it all down in one place and to share it with anyone who might be interested in reading it. And don't think that I don't imagine you reading this as I write it. I might not have a clear idea of what your living room looks like or what computer you're reading on, but I often didn't know what my friend's homes looked like after they moved away. And I might not know what you look like either, but in my heart I still know you. You're my friend. And you're reading my letters to you. Every day.

Thanks for reading.

Love,
Me

The full sorbet experience

A few weeks back I posted a gushing review on The Lemonade Stand for Jolly Llama sorbets. The review had everything, info, opinions, stats... the works. All it was missing was a few "in action" shots. I saved those for here. You're welcome.

First you squeeeeeeeze the sorbet up.

Then you pose for the camera.
But you have to move to make it blurry.
Whatever, it's totally daddy's goatee so it's staying up.
Even if it looks like the after effect of a nasty nosebleed.

Then you have a little dance.
Because sorbet is oh, so gooood.

Then you get back to work eating.

Serious business this sorbet stuff.

And serious messes too.
But a girl's gotta do,
what a girl's gotta do,
to get her anti-oxidants.

Are you a hero? I am.

Once in a while you come across a book that resonates deeply, a book that stays with you long after you close the cover, a book that changes you.

Be the Hero is one such book.

It's short. It's concise. And it imparts crucial lessons that will change how you see your life. It's sort of Pollyanna meets Who Moved My Cheese, but better.

Now, to be fair, Noah Blumenthal didn't reinvent the wheel. As my husband pointed out, the concepts are pure Buddhist theories, they're just packaged in a way that makes them accessible to all. Last night he read the book in three hours and woke up this morning with a completely changed attitude towards life.

I know. It sounds hoaky. No book can change your life. And I'm not saying this one will. I'm just saying it's going to change the way you look at your life and it might just give you the boost you need to change it yourself.

I read a lot of books. In fact, I just put in a handy little thing in the sidebar that tells you what I'm currently reading. Keep an eye on it and you'll see that I'm a voracious reader. I'm not going to gush about each and every one of them. I have no interest in turning this blog into a book blog.

But when I read books like these I can't wait to share them. It's all the stuff I say all the time, written down, making it look more real, more sound. It's simple, good advice. Easy lessons to live by and I guarantee you won't regret reading it.

The secret behind 7 years of marital harmony

The fancy restaurant reservation was made. The babysitter was lined up. Everything was set for a romantic, memorable, 7th wedding anniversary.

Then last night, over nasty, greasy pizza, I looked at M and said, "You know what I really want to do tomorrow night? I really, really just want to go see a movie and have a low key dinner with you."

"Oh my god! Me too! That's exactly what I want to do!" M beamed at me, delighted that we were on the exact same page.

I canceled the froufrou restaurant.

We're going to see District 9 and we're getting some decent and cheap Italian food.

I can't wait.

Who needs fancy when you're going out with your best friend?

We have the secret to marital bliss and harmony: love and want the same things. Which I guess is easier said than done.

World's worst wedding picture EVAH.
Sadly, it's the only one we have.
Cuz we never got our pictures printed.
Oops.

But we danced the horrah!
And we were carried on chairs.
Which I think is supposed to be all about long marriages etc.
Or breaking your friend's backs. Something like that.

And a gratuitous family shot.
To prove that I didn't look horrible or nutty all day long.
(Also, that baby started THIRD GRADE today. WTF?)

When rejection leads to happiness and love

The name printed under the picture caught my eye and made me smile. Only one person I know would really see the humor in the this, I thought as I looked at the grimacing face of the man named Bilbo Baggins Ballard.

The Gratitude Challenge of the day was to call a friend we rarely contact. An email would have to suffice. After all, we broke up ten years ago, it's not like I even have his phone number or even know where he lives.

"Please don't do this to your children. OK?" I emailed the short note along with the link to the article and photo smiling to myself. You have to love inside jokes that transcend time and space.

Moments later my BlackBerry buzzed and I glanced at the incoming email.

"Perfect. Just in time! First born due in two weeks. We're considering Sam Gamgee if it's a boy. Maybe Galdriel if it's a girl." The wink was implied.

Two weeks? A baby?

The email went on to explain when and who he'd married and where they were living. Thanks to an obscure Facebook note on someone's wall last year I had vaguely known that there had been a wedding. It hadn't phased me at the time. But now, faced with the black on white proof of both the nuptials and the fruit of the union, I was floored.

I let emotions flood me, not trying to stem or rationalize them. I simply took note as they rushed past. Let's pretend that I shared these thoughts with you. Let's assume they weren't pretty or nice. We don't need to commit them to the interwebs for all to see. I'm not proud of what I went through my mind.

The flow of bitter, angry, confused thoughts finally slowed and I was surprised to find that I wasn't in the least bit jealous or upset. Instead I was at peace. A baby. A wife. A nice life in a lovely land. I couldn't wish for better for a person who once meant the world to me.

Then I smiled wider as I let myself remember that his rejection had paved the road for my current happiness.

Because I wasn't the girl for him, because he turned out to be man enough to be honest about his feelings and let me go, I met the man I was meant to be with. The one who fathered my children and loves me so completely and perfectly. The man I married 7 years ago today.

For that and for the instrumental role he played in my life and how it turned out I will be eternally grateful, I thought fondly as I reread the email one last time. And I wish him and his family as much love and happiness as I enjoy daily with mine. Even if I'm not 100% convinced he was kidding about naming his firstborn after fantastic characters.

Gratitude in the midst of travel angst

To start with C was checked in as an adult. Because there weren't any seats together any more. That turned out to be a non issue. A few taps on the steward's computer, a little shifting around, and the three of us were sitting together again.

***********

The plane was delayed. 3o minutes. Nothing bad. Nothing bad if you don't take into account the rather short, 45 minute layover we had in Phoenix, AZ. A few more taps of the keyboard and the steward assured me that we'd be fine. The two planes were located two gates away from each other. We'd have plenty of time to deplane and board again.

***********

20 minutes before boarding was scheduled to start I dragged the girls and all our carry-on luggage for a last minute pit stop. When we came back all the lovely people who had been hanging around the gate waiting for the delayed plane had vanished. Poof. Gone. Gate deserted. Gate change! Terminal change! From C-9 to D-26.

***********

Bags bouncing on my back, toddler on my hip, preschooler running at my side, erratic stroller leading the way, we mowed down countless travelers in our haste to reach the distant gate in time.

Sweat pouring down my face and my back, Little L screeching indignantly from her awkward perch on top of the carry-on loaded on the stroller, we arrived just as the loudspeaker blared an update.

**********

"I don't think we're going to be home tonight," I swallowed a ball of tears. "There's a storm. They can't let people get the plane ready because of the lightning."

The clock ticked on, each minute making it less and less likely that we'd make our connecting flight in Phoenix. Scheduled to arrive at 7:30. Scheduled to depart at 7:31. No flights leaving Phoenix after ours. Visions of hotel beds danced in my head. Not my own soft cozy bed in a room with no children. Another night in a strange bed with two little girls in my arms.

**********

The storm raged on. C and Little L curled up on either side of me and put their heads on my thighs. I rubbed their tired backs and watched the other passengers mill around, calling family, friends, to tell them they'd be late or might not make it that night.

"At least we got to have a great vacation," I thought. "At least we're together. At least it was well worth it." Tired. Hungry. A bit worried about what I'd do for the night. But still able to see some good in the fiasco. Thanks to the Gratitude Challenge for helping me see the positive even in a crappy situation.

***********

"On 1st plane. Keep fingers crossed." I texted M as we settled into our seats.

"In Phoenix. Pray for us." I texted when we landed in Phoenix.

"Head to the airport in an hour. We'll see you at 9:30." I texted five minutes later blinking back tears as we settled into our seats.

***********

The United staff on our first plane asked the other passengers to let us off the plane first. The staff on the second plane held the doors open as the 8 or so passengers from our flight ran from one gate to the next. Moments after we rushed on and sat down the doors we slammed shut and the safety video was playing.

Little L and C's mad dash induced giggles slowed and finally stopped as they settled down, C in her seat, Little L on my lap. They fell asleep as the plane took off, taking us home despite all odds.

Winding down and driving up

Tomorrow, sometime after breakfast, I'm going to pack up our suitcase, load up the girls, and turn the Toyota Yaris that we rented back towards DC. We'll be saying a fond farewell to the North Carolina Outer Banks and hightailing it out of here before Hurricane Billy makes himself known.

One last short night visiting with friends we see all too rarely and then we're jumping on a couple planes and going home.

This was an unexpected and very last minute vacation that the girls and I have unbelievably enjoyed. Tomorrow when we wave bye bye to the Atlantic Ocean and to our family I have no doubt more than a couple tears will be shed, and they won't all be coming from the back seat of the car.

At least we know that we'll be seeing everyone again in just a few short months. Christmas is coming soon, right?

Of flies and gratitude

At random moments of the day I've stopped and really taken note of where I am, who I'm with, what we're doing. I've put down my book and watched the girls play with their cousins. I've laughed at some of Little L's antics in the pool, or at C holding court on some topic or another. (She explained in detail to her cousin which of the X-Men was which. How she knows is beyond me, but the pride I felt knew no bounds.)

This act of appreciating the small moments has nothing to do with the Gratitude Challenge task of the day*, but I have to admit that it's definitely thanks to the challenge that I have been trying to be more mindful. These moments are so fleeting and it would be all too easy to get sucked into the minutia of caring for the kids while on vacation - the naps, the snacks, the bathing suits, the sunscreen, etc...

Despite all this mindfulness I still needed help catching a classic language confusion moment today.

The flies here are pretty brutal. They wait a nanosecond before descending on whatever food you're eating and if they don't like how it tastes they take chunks out of you instead. Needless to say one of us snapped today and bought a nice big purple fly swatter.

C picked it up and turned it over and over again. She looked up at me, a very confused look on her face, and asked, "But mama, where do the flies drink?"

I shrugged it off as just another random preschooler question and didn't think any more of it until hours later when I shared the odd comment with one of the other grown-ups.

"I don't have a clue where she got that." I said, shrugging again.

He looked at me, smile tugging at his face. "Really? You don't see it?"

"No. What?"

"She thought you said fly's water, not fly swatter."

It's hours later and I'm still chuckling.

* I'm losing track of the days (darn vacation), but I'm pretty sure the latest two Gratitude Challenges have been to a) journal a short message of thanks for some of the negative things in our lives and b) journal a short message taking note of the wonderful things that are already in our lives, rather than pining for the the things we don't yet have. I'm journaling (in my head at least...), have at it!

The Little Girl and The Ocean

She stands on the sand and begs me to take her to the water. Moments later she howls when the ocean laps at her feet - even from the safety of my arms.

I take her back to the sand and she stands there again, staring at the sea. The call is strong. The fear is stronger. One day she'll win. She's that tough.

The ABCs of Gratitude

Even though I've been more offline than on the last couple of days doesn't mean that I haven't been attentive to my Gratitude Challenge duties. In fact, day two was a suggestion that we think of an alphabet listing of the things we are grateful for.

Now I'm not averse to listing the great things in my life, but I have to admit that the ABCs gave me pause. I mean, sure A, B, and C were pretty easy, but you try to find something good about J, U, and X...

In any case, I did find at least one thing for every letter. Think you can too?

A is for...
Asthma, which might sound odd except for the fact that it has taught me to never take my kid's good nights for granted.
It's also for Audience, which is you! And for Authors.

B is for...
Books, which I love to both read and write.

C is for...
C, my first baby, Coffee, which keeps me awake and happy, Cake, because who doesn't appreciate cake? And last but not least, connections, connections, connections, because who are we without each other?

D is for...
Dreams, lovely, lovely dreams. Dreams that inspire and dreams that offer escape. I'm grateful for my dreams and my imagination.

E is for...
The Earth and, uh, the Ether. Just because. (You try to find something beginning with E!)

F is for...
Friends, near and far, real and virtual. My friends mean everything to me and I am eternally grateful to and for all of them.

G is for...
Geekdom! A high school friend who used to be the Uber Geek in our circle told me a few weeks ago that I had out-geeked him. I'm so proud. I love being a part of the geek community.

H is for...
Home sweet home. It's not big, it's not neat, it's just right for us and I love being there.

I is for...
Ice cream. Especially in the summer after a long hot day.

J is for...
My Journal, where I can work through the things I'm not ready to post on my blog or write down the things that will never be blog appropriate.

K is for...
The kitchen where the best family times - dancing, singing, hugging, loving - take place.

L is for...
Little L, my other baby.

M is for...
M, the love of my life who came along just at the right time, Motherhood and my very own mother.

N is for...
Naps, glorious, glorious naps that allow me a moment of peace in the middle of the day to do important things like writing this blog post. N is also for Notebooks, Networks, and Nursing, which I never thought I'd get to do and finally, gratefully, managed.

O is for...
Ordinary days where nothing happens. I love those days, they give me time to appreciate all the great things in my life.

P is for...
Pandora, because who isn't grateful for free music and the opportunity to discover new artists?

Q is for...
Questions, lots and lots of questions and the drive to ask them and to find the answers.

R is for...
Reading and risks. I'm grateful for the risks I've taken that will hopefully lead to you reading my work.

S is for...
Sisters, awesome, amazing sisters. And for sleep, glorious sleep. I'm always grateful for sleep.

T is for...
Time, all sorts of time, but especially the time we get to have with family and friends who almost didn't get to be here with us any more.

U is for...
The Ukulele, M's new instrument of choice on which he composes fun new songs and with which he serenades us. U is also for Understanding because I'm grateful that my husband strives to understand me - not an easy task on any given day.

V is for...
Vacations. What can I say, I'm writing this in an incredible beach house surrounded by family. It's a good life...

W is for...
Someone suggested Water, but really W is for Wine, yummy, yummy wine. Our latest joy is discovering fun blends under $10. Amazing what you can find out there.

X is for...
Seriously, is for... X-tras, as in everything else... Come on, cut me some slack. X is hard, I mean how grateful can we be for X-rays and Xenophobes?

Y is for...
Yarns, as in stories, because stories make my world go around. And Y is also for Yoga, which keeps me limber and makes my back happy.

And last, but not least,

Z is for...
Zerberts... big fat raspberries blown on little round bellies followed by hysterical laughs. Nothing more wonderful than that, even if it might not be spelled like that or even with a Z.

So? How about you? Do you have some ABCs you're grateful for? Leave a link in the comments if you do!

As for me, I'm heading back to the beach, the waves are calling me.

Gratitude Challenge Kick Off!

I'm leaving in a short hour, but I have just enough time to tell you about an exciting project that's starting today.

A few awesome bloggers and myself have accepted the Gratitude Challenge thrown down by the awesome company Tiny Prints. For the next 21 days we are going to follow a calendar of tiny tasks designed to help us take note of the brighter side of life.

There's going to be some blogging, some vlogging (gulp), some journaling, and lots of reflecting. I'm usually pretty appreciative of the things in my life, but I'm really excited to take the time to think about how it all comes together.

Want to come with me on the journey? I might not blog about each task, but I'm more than happy to share the instructions with you so that you can participate! No reason we can't all take note and give thanks for the wonders in our lives.

Up up and away... with stickers on the tray

Tomorrow night I'm going to wrangle my two darling children, two carry-ons, a stroller, two car seats, and a or two suitcase onto a plane. Actually onto two planes.

We're heading East to spend a week frolicking in the Northern Carolina surf with my sister and her family. I keep trying to explain to C that this is a special ocean, one we can actually swim in, but I don't think she quite grasps the concept. You see, up here in the Pacific you can't really swim. I mean, you can, if you're impervious to very very cold water, but we're not, so we don't tend to go in past our ankles.

But out there on the Outer Banks of Northern Carolina where torrid temperatures await us, I think we'll be spending lots and lots of time in the water, way past our ankles and even our waists. Even better we're going to be spending a week having fun with cousins we usually only see once a year. I'm going to have the pleasure of watching Little L interact with her cousins like never before.

You know, if I survive the flight there.

I've purchased a few sticker/coloring books and invested a small fortune in some Crayola Color Wonder papers and pens. I'm bringing crayons and books. I have three movies that I can play on my laptop and I've packed enough snacks to feed the entire plane. I'm secretly hoping that now that I have purchased enough things to keep the girls entertained for hours they will retaliate by falling asleep as soon as we board, but I'm a seasoned mom and an even more seasoned traveler and I know that is just as unlikely as us being upgraded to First Class.

So if you're on a United flight from SFO to LAX and then to Dulles tomorrow night and two little girls insist on covering you in Fancy Nancy and Curious George stickers, forgive me, I'm just a mom trying to show her little girls that sometimes you can swim in the ocean without getting frostbite.

Tiger goes RAWR

"That was awesome!"

It's late. We're piling into the car after a long afternoon and evening at the circus. The girls are rarely up this late, but excitement is keeping them going, little eyes shining bright in the dark.

"My favorite part was the chocolate covered pretzels." C declares from the back seat.

"Oh yeah? Not the tigers? Or the elephants?"

"Oh. Yeah! Those were neat! I also liked the dancers! In the pretty tutus!"

"I liked the dogs. Those were funny." I interject.

"Yeah! The dogs! I liked when the dogs jumped."

"How about you baby? Did you like the circus?"

Little L's bright eyes are closing. They flutter a bit and she replies, speaking around her pacifier.

"Tiger goes RAWR!"

Moments later both girls are fast asleep, a hint of smiles visible around their pacifiers as we head home and the circus disappears behind us.

Wordless Wednesday - The dog on the bench

Little L saw it first. Then C.
How about you? Do you see the dog on the bench?

Happy Wordless Wednesday everyone!

The August Best of Mommy Bloggers Carnival

I am honored to be hosting this month's Best of the Mommy Bloggers Carnival!

Unsure about how to proceed I begged all my Twitter followers, my Facebook friends, my Silicon Valley Moms Blog friends, and a few (ahem) others on a few (ahem) other social networking sites to submit their favorite posts for the month.

I thought one or two or maybe three would reply. I was wrong. A lot more replied. But all the posts were either funny, moving, or downright awesome. Also, I am very bad at picking favorites. So here they all are. I hope you enjoy discovering some new bloggers or at the very least have fun reading some great posts.

Without further ado...

The Best of Mommy Bloggers Carnival - August 09 edition!

In a touching post, Amy from Moving on From the Drama says goodbye to a her best friend, her cat Tiger.

Stimey of Stimeyland reminds us how important those seemingly unimportant candid pictures turn out to be in this moving post about her father.

Miss Lori at Musings From My Minivan writes an important, and extremely well written, post about how brown dolls aren't enough. More is needed to foster a strong self image in "beautiful brown children" like hers.

Denene Millner at The Frogs Legs wrote another amazing post on this same subject. If you only read two posts from this whole list today, read these two.

I'm ranting about people who are determined to make money blogging without having a single clue about what that entails. (I am too allowed to pimp my own posts! Shh now!)

Julie at Just Precious shares what makes her marriage not perfect, but just right especially after 11 years.

Susanna at A Modern Mother (home of the carnival!) takes us down the river of her childhood. Literally. In a kayak! And she and her husband only had one tiny fight in it. She's my hero.

CaseyDeuce at A Couch with a View shares the hardship of watching a parent suffer from an addiction and not being able to intervene.

Christina at Cutest Kid Ever wrote an AMAZING post in response to World Breastfeeding Week from the point of view of a mom who couldn't breastfeed despite heroic attempts. As a mom who went through something very similar, I'm begging you, please read this.

Mamasick reminds everyone, healthy moms, sick moms, all moms, that our kids don't care about our health; they love us no matter what our shortcomings may be.

The awesome Jodifur (who I got to meet at BlogHer!) shares a tender moment with her son in the middle of lots of storms.

Ilina at Dirt and Noise reminds herself and us about the importance of pure unadulterated joy and fun in childhood and life.

Linsey at Me Too You is letting her children slide through the summer without a trace of academics or a hint or remorse. Summer is for fun, not study!

At the same time the teacher in Leticia at Tech Savvy Mama can't ignore how important it is to keep kids thinking throughout the warm summer months.

Kimberly at Petroville wishes her baby a happy 14th birthday, with just a touch of sarcasm and a ton of love. And at DC Moms Blog she shares the most hilarious story about the one thing guys shouldn't do while their wives are in labor.

Glennia at The Silent I is sharing her secret "how to pack in under two hours" tips. I'm leaving in 5 days and I'll be checking back with her when it's time to pack!

Jennifer at The Smart Mama shares some terrifying facts about the presence of BPA in cans and how we're being falsely lulled into a sense of security about the whole thing. Excuse me now, I have a few cans I need to get rid of. Ugh.

Kim at Passion and Art is ranting against kid pageants and beauty contests. Kids should be allowed to just be pretty without being put up against each other in "who's the prettiest" contests darn it!

Jessica at jessicagottlieb.com rails against the "fat acceptance movement" and miraculously her readers stayed civil in the comments!

Jennifer at Connect with Your Teens through Pop Culture and Technology is celebrating Jeremy's 16th birthday. No, he's not her son, he's the star of the Zits comic strip and he's been waiting for this day for 12 long years. Happy Birthday Jeremy! Finally!

Joanne at PunditMom is wondering if even as a non-helicopter parent she's being unfair to her daughter by not giving her enough freedom and responsibility.

At one point or another we all have to answer tough sex questions. Sarah of Sarah and the Goon Squad got to do it in front of her inlaws. Lucky her. Or rather lucky us because the result was pretty darn funny.

Amy at A Selfish Mom left home for a weekend and didn't miss her kids at all, even better she doesn't feel guilty about it. She's my kind of momma!

And last but not least, we're wrapping up with a handy guide to green toys for boys over at Son Time Now, you know, in case you want to get a jump on the holiday season...

Happy Carnival everyone! Hope you enjoyed it!

Want to submit a post for future Best of Mommy Blogger Carnivals? Click here to see who's hosting the next one.

There's more than one use for a belt darling

Some days Little L is a doll. A well behaved little doll who listens carefully and acts exactly the way we want her to act. The other 99% of the time Little L is a perfectly typical two-year-old. Our words go in one ear and out the other without making any connections whatsoever in the middle.

Last night, after a particularly frustrating 30 minutes of trying to get her to sit in her chair and eat some dinner without wriggling like a gummy worm on crack or sliding out of her chair like melted taffy, I might have lost my cool a bit. It was probably the perpetual cheerful look on Little L's face as I ranted, raved, held her in her chair, put her in time out, and tried every other thing I could think of to keep her in her spot.

I looked around wildly, desperate for a solution, and finally barked at M.

"Give me your belt!"

"Huh?" He looked at me blankly, probably wondering if I'd finally flipped my lid.

"Give me your belt, now! Please!"

He shot me an unreadable look and started to unbuckle his belt.

"Uh. Exactly what are you going to do with the belt?" He asked as he handed it to me.

"I'm going to use the belt to tie her to the chair. Like a seat belt." I answered as I tried to fit the belt around Little L and the chair back.

"Oh!" The relief in M's voice made me look up.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

"No, seriously, what?"

"I thought you were maybe going to hit her with it!"

I looked at my husband of nearly 7 years and then at my 2 year old baby. He's never seen me raise a hand against anyone in anger. She's 2 for crying out loud. Two, adorable, round, sweet, infuriatingly two.

I didn't answer. Just handed him back the belt that hadn't fit around both the baby and the chair.

"What? Seriously, what else do you do with a belt? It was an honest assumption!"

"You know honey," I replied. "There is actually more than one use for a belt."

As to why he actually gave me the belt if that's what he thought I was going to do with it... well, that's a whole other question. Maybe he was scared I'd be even harder on him if he didn't comply...

The secret to making money from your blog

So the natural continuation of the post I wrote yesterday is the answer to the question that is on everyone's mind.

How do you make money from your blog?

Well here's the answer my friends. And don't forget to say that you heard it here.

You can't make money from your blog.

OK. Fine. Maybe that's a hair harsh. I mean sure, some people do make enough money to pay the mortgage on their house by the beach. Sure. And some others make enough to support their expensive coffee habit. So yes. There is some money to be made blogging.

But let's be really and truly honest here. There's very little money to be made blogging and if you're in it for the money you're not going to be making any.

Here are the key 4 things that make it possible to earn a living blogging:

1) You have to be a phenomenal writer.
Awesome. Amazing. Inspiring. Really truly great.
That means flawless grammar and spelling. Because yes, it counts.

2) You have t0 be well connected.
Yes, that really does matter. You have to know people who are going to want to share what you write with people they know. And it helps if you know a lot of those people.

3) You have to have a niche or a thing.
If you can picture your specific topic being turned into a coffee table book, you have a niche. If not you don't. It's that simple. And if your topic has already been turned into 50 coffee table books, then go find another idea.
Don't have a specific topic idea? Can't think of a niche? Then you better have an unusual story or an interesting twist on a more common one. People will tune in often to read about your 8 children, your child with special needs, your struggle to overcome a hardship, the house you're building for Habitat for Humanity, or whatever else that makes your story unique. They don't really want to be reading about their own lives.

4) You have to have passion.
You have to believe in what you're writing. Don't just pick something because you think people will care. If you don't care too we'll hear it in your writing. And trust me, it's hard to sustain a regular posting schedule when you really don't care about the topic.
Yes, financial health is a very topical issue, but if it bores you to tears do you really want to write about it three times a week?

Blogging for money is hard, hard work. It's not easy money. It's not a dance-your-way-to-the-bank kind of job. It's work. Pure, hard, sweaty work. The people who are making a living blogging get up early every day and work hard into every night. They work when they're sick, when their kids are sick, and more often than not when they're on vacation. They don't mind because they're passionate about what they do.

And here's the real secret. They also don't mind because they're not in it for the money. The talent and the passion came first. The money came second. And I'm willing to bet that they'd keep doing it if the money went away.

Please don't forget that this is a post about making money blogging. Not about blogging for the sake of blogging. This is not about the "right" way to blog. There is no "right" way to blog.

So you want to start a blog...

You've been reading lots about blogs in the news and you think it might be fun to start one. You have things to say! You might even have found the perfect "niche," that oh-so-elusive thing that promises to rise your as as-yet-unborn blog to the top of the blogosphere. Maybe you're heading out on a journey and want to chronicle the experience. Or maybe you just need a space to voice your thoughts so that you no longer feel as though you're talking to yourself.

There's no one good reason to start a blog. They're all good. You want to start one. That's reason enough.

So what do you have to do?

Well, first you need a name.
Yes. First. Because you're going to get to that first screen and it's going to ask you what to name the blog and you're going to freeze. Trust me. So think of a name. A good easy, memorable, and evocative name.

Then check that it hasn't already been taken by a million other bloggers. Then look for another one.

Got a name?

Good.

Now you need a platform.
A wah?

A platform. A website that will host your blog and allow you to publish easily without having to learn intricate web coding and stuff.

There's no shortage of places you can start your blog. If you're like most of us you're going to want to start off free, which is totally fine. The two most popular free platforms are Blogger and Wordpress. For each ardent supporter of one you'll find an equally ardent supporter of the other. Blogger is a bit more intuitive, Wordpress is more flexible if you like to play with your design and offers the option to upgrade to a paying site if you get big. (There are other lesser known/less popular platforms. Feel free to hunt around online.)

If you're willing to pay for slightly better service you can go straight to a paying Wordpress blog or you can go with Typepad. Again it's a personal preference. Bounce around on the sites and see which feels most like home.

Next it's time to get your new blog all set up.
Whatever platform you picked will make it easy for you. Undoubtedly you'll be introduced to a handy wizard who will guide you through the whole process.

Don't worry too much about sexing up your site and making it uber cool, that's always something you can do later. But do pick a layout that doesn't make your eyes bleed or that doesn't make any sense in regards to your personality. Pink hearts and swirls are great and all, but not if you're writing about a solemn retrospective trip across the land of your forefathers or something.

A couple things you do want to take time to think over.
The first thing most readers are going to do is click on your "About Me" button. Blog readers are voyeurs at heart. They love to get a glimpse into the lives of the people they're getting to know. Tell them something. Anything. Who you are. Why you're blogging. Anything.

The second thing readers are going to do is click through your archives. Make sure you activate the archive option in the wizard.

So? What's next? Oh, duh. The first post.
And yes it's cheesy. And yes you might feel silly. And no you don't have to do it. But it's always nice to kick off your blog with a longer version of your "About Me" section. (Bonus! When you get more savvy with the techy stuff you can just link your About Me button to the first post!)
So again: Who are you? Why are you blogging? Why should we care?

Or you know, just start talking. Because it's your blog and really no one can tell you what to do. People like me just like to give lots and lots of advice.

And there you have it. You're a blogger. With a blog. Which you can choose to share with the world or keep to yourself. Enjoy! But word of warning, it's addictive. And clicking "publish" at the end of each post can be incredibly heady and empowering.

A few more bloggy type tips.

• Attempt to blog more or less regularly. Readers like it. At the very least once a week. More is better.
• Be yourself. Readers can tell when you're pretending to be someone else.
• You don't have to reveal all. It's your blog. Your life. You can chose to reveal a tiny fraction of it or a whole lot of it.
• There's no such thing as anonymity online. Trust me. Don't blog something you don't want a certain someone reading. They'll find it.
• Pictures. People love pictures.
• Grammar. Spellcheck. Seriously. It takes three seconds to run it. Your readers will thank you.
• Let yourself go. Dig deep when you write. The best posts are the naked posts. Not as in you write them naked, but as in you bare all.
• Don't worry too much about the stats (numbers of visitors to your site). But if you do care, I can't recommend Get Clicky enough. Or if you want to get serious you can check out Google Analytics, but I have to warn you, they're always a day late, which is only annoying if you become obsessed. Which you shouldn't.
• Go forth and comment on other blogs. No one blogs in a vacuum. It's all about the community. It's a great community, let it embrace you.

The love in the words... on the picture

When I woke up last Tuesday with a fever I thought I was in some serious trouble. On any other given day it wouldn't have been a problem. M would have dressed the girls and taken them to daycare leaving me alone at home to nurse my cold. I would have probably slept all day, waking just about when they walked back in the door at the end of the day.

But no. Not last Tuesday. See, last week our daycare was closed. They close all of two weeks a year. One in the summer and one in the winter. And just my luck, I chose to get sick the week the girls had nowhere to go.

I waved M off to work and dragged myself out of bed, blearily looking at the clock to see how soon I could put them down for a nap. Unfortunately 4 and 2 year-olds don't nap at 9:30am. I had a ways to go. My head was pounding. I was shaking from the chills. My nose was stuffed up and running at the same time. And I had absolutely nothing planned to entertain my hopeful children. I wanted to go back to bed. They wanted to play. With me.

We got through the morning unscathed. Not that I remember what we did, but I also can't remember much fighting or crying so it must have gone well. I'm even pretty sure that I didn't pass out on the couch. But it's not impossible that lunch was served on the very early side and that nap time also came early that day.

As soon as their light was shut off and their door was closed I gratefully slid back into my own bed, closing my eyes long before my head hit the pillow. I figured that with any luck I'd maybe two hours to sleep before I had to get back up and play more games. Imagine my surprise when I heard the door to the girls' room squeak open barely 45 minutes after I closed my eyes.

I squinted at the sheepish little figure standing in the doorway and made a hasty calculation. If I let her lie in bed with me maybe I'd get another 10/15 minutes of sleep. Three minutes of massive wiggling and giggling later and I made another calculation. At the ripe old age of 4 C was more than able to entertain herself quietly while mommy napped a bit. She hastily agreed and hopped out of bed.

She didn't make a sound from the other room and I gratefully slid back into sleep.

I was woken up a while later by an odd and somewhat startling crinkling sound coming from the side of my bed. I lifted my head and looked around wildly. C stared at me, frozen in place, horrified that she had woken me up.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.
"Nothing. Just bringing you this." She whispered back, pointing to something on my nightstand.

I mumbled a thank you and sent her back to the other room. Little L still wasn't stirring and I was desperate for a few more minutes of sleep. She tiptoed back out and I put my head back down.

When Little L finally woke up a bit later I dragged myself back out of bed, but before I went to get her out of her crib I took a look at what C had left for me.

It was a picture. Or rather a note. Her very first written sentence.

Don't see the note? Look closer:
She even wrote "mom" with a birdie in the middle. Best medicine I got all day. It gave me the strength to play with them until their daddy came home from work and I was able to head back to bed.

Happy Love Thursday everyone. May all your love notes have birdies and toothy grins in them.

The Top Ten Things I Brought Back from BlogHer... beyond the cold I mean

So this is about a week delayed, but only because I've had my face deep inside a tissue box since I got off the plane and also I haven't so much unpacked as left my suitcase sitting in the middle of the floor in our room. Which I'm sure my husband totally loves.

Even after taking the high-road and refusing to fight anyone for a swag bag of anything I still managed to leave BlogHer with way more stuff than I brought and a clean conscience to boot, so yay. And so, without further ado...

The Top Ten Things I Brought Back from BlogHer...

Click here to see the rest. (Sorry for the click through, but I can't post reviews here and although this list doesn't really fall under the review category, I'd hate to ruffle any feathers.)

How do you teach gratitude to the 4 year-old set?

Maybe it's because I'm reading Escape, the story of a polygamist wife, mother to 8 children, aunt to well over 30 others who lived under the same roof and shared almost nothing. Or maybe it's because I'm constantly tripping over my daughter's things. But recently I've been thinking about how good my girls have it.

They have two loving parents who are around a lot. They always have food and lots of it. They have snacks and healthy food whenever they want it. They have a comfy home and a large backyard to play in. They have more books and toys than they know what to do with. They have each other.

But to hear the whining in the car today you wouldn't know it. It was all "Why don't we ever..." "Why can't we have..." "So and so has..."

My 4-year-old has everything she could possibly want, but it's never enough. Which raises the question: how do you teach a preschooler gratitude? How do you make her stop coveting everything else and appreciate what she has?

She's not a bratty child. In fact she's pretty much the opposite. She's always looking out for those around her. She shares everything with her friends and her sister. She takes all of us into consideration when she chooses or does something - our favorite colors, our favorite things... Compassion isn't the issue here, it's just plain ol' want.

And I get that. I do. I really, really do. I mean, when I see someone using a fast new digital camera I want it too. When I see someone in a stunning outfit, I want it too. But I'm a big girl. I know how to separate that desire from how I feel about the things I own. Just because a dress is beautiful doesn't make my clothes any less attractive. And I still appreciate my camera even if it is slower than the new models.

I just need to figure out how to teach my daughters that it's OK to appreciate and even want new things, but it's even more important to appreciate and love the things that we already have.

I started tonight. As we pulled into the garage I interrupted the barrage of rants and quietly asked C to tell me about four things that she had that she was really happy she had.

She thought for a long moment before answering.

"The thing that turns blue when we color with the water pen." An odd choice considering they only sporadically play with their Aquadoodle, but a good one because she definitely gets a lot of pleasure from it when we do bring it out.
"Anything else? How about your new pony?" I prompted when she flailed.
"Oh. Yeah! My pony!" She beamed at me. "I love my pony!" She hugged it tight and she skipped off towards the house.

For that moment all thoughts of the things her friends had that she didn't have were banished from her mind. She had her pony and she was home. Tomorrow I'll have to start again, doing my best to remind her that she already has everything she needs, even if the other stuff is shiny and tempting.

A birthday for a two-year-old

On Friday, despite my intense denial about the whole event, my sweet little baby, the one who just yesterday was the same size as her sister's dolls, turned two. Yes. TWO. As in, 24 months old. Which means I haven't slept well in a lot longer than I thought.
Wait. No. It also means that she's been gracing us with her presence and her smiles for two wonderful years now. And, even though there's still little sleep, we wouldn't trade her in for any other model.

Friday dawned bright and early with C waking her baby sister with a sweetly, and cheerily, sung Happy Birthday. I was a tad annoyed that it was only 6:50, but it was hard to be really mad - she was just so excited about her sister's birthday. (And I'm sure it had nothing to do with presents and all... heh.)
Because I've been a bit obsessed with prepping for BlogHer and a couple other projects I'm working on, I completely blanked on planning a party for Little L. And then the creeping crud cold from Hell took over my brain and I was unable to even throw a last minute shindig together. So I did what any mother desperate for a memorable birthday would do. I went with the crazy commercial answer to my problem.

I packed up both girls on Thursday and went to Target where I managed to purchase a couple birthday presents on the sly. Then on Friday morning I packed them up again and took them to the mall for a dazzling morning at The Build-A-Bear Factory followed with a fun lunch at the food court.What can I say? It's a good thing 2 and 4 year-olds are easy to please.

After a rather short nap we spent the whole afternoon baking cupcakes and cookies, which we fed to some very close family friends later that evening after Little L blew out her candle. Rumor has it that her daddy blew it out... I don't believe it.
She never did eat that cupcake. The candy, yes. The cake? Not so much.

I tucked both exhausted girls into their beds with their new stuffed animals snug in their arms. I kissed them both gently and looked at them carefully. If I squint a bit I can almost see a trace of the baby C used to be in the corners of her eyes and her smile. It's easier to spot in Little L's cheeks and the crook of her neck. You know, even though she's two now.