It’s like being bombarded by a heard of really pissed off bees. Or rather, it’s like being pulled in ten different directions by thick rough ropes that tug and burn and make it impossible to focus on just one thing or just one person. Being tired makes it especially hard because you lose the ability to change directions at the drop of a hat, and worse, you become incapable of multitasking.
Even in the short moments when only one person or task requires your attention you hear that nagging voice in your head and you know that if everyone would just be quiet for just a second you could hear what the voice has to say that’s so urgent and needs to be done now, in the midst of all the chaos. But just as you’re sure you’re on the verge of remembering, the baby cries, the preschooler demands a snack, the husband has a question, the phone rings, the email dings, or another random thought pops into your head and you’re right back where you started, knowing you’re forgetting something possibly crucial, but unable to recall what it could possibly be.
So then you go online and you find a great list making software, something that will store your to do list, your shopping list, your holiday present list. You get all excited and you pour your brain out into the computer, and each typed recollection creates a space where the next item can take it’s place. Soon enough everything you need to do is there, on the screen, in black and white, and you feel at peace for once, because you aren’t forgetting anything, and things are getting done.
Until your computer shuts down and your browser closes and you can’t for the life of you remember the name of the site that you were using*.
*Took me a half an hour of searching through the History to find the name of the site because I couldn’t remember what day I’d started using it and over the long weekend I forgot about my brilliant brain dump.
Original It’s my life… blog post.