It's party time! Come on in and get your grove on!

Listen? You hear that? All over the blogosphere people are getting down, grabbing drinks, shmoozing, and doing all those things people do at parties. (What do people do at parties? It's been a long, long time since I've been to one.)
Grab a chicken wing, put on your party dress and join the peeps getting down.
It's the Ultimate Blog Party! Whooohooo! Time to raise the roof!

Over here I'm cranking up the Martin Sexton (Sorry, no fancy music player here, you want music head on over to Pandora) and serving up some cheese.

"What can you bring?" you ask.
Well, I'm glad you ask! I want you to either bring some more cheese or some whine.

Come on, I'm sure you have something, anything to whine about, and since it's always better to laugh than to cry, let's have some whine with a healthy dose of cheese.

As the hostess allow me to start.
My whine for today?
If a bunch of people at work are quitting and it's freaking out the people who are staying behind, why, oh why are they being obnoxious to the people staying with them? Don't they realize it's a terrible time to antagonize us? I need a t-shirt that says "My family doesn't need my salary to survive. BE NICE TO ME!"

Would you like some cheese with that whine?
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

More cheese?
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins-if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

Come on. I know you want more.
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her *husband*!"

What? You haven't had enough yet?
Dear God, so far today, I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, and I haven't lost my temper.
I haven't been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and I'm really glad of that!
But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on, I'm probably going to need a lot of help.

OK! OK! I'll stop, but only if you promise to take over.
Let me have it. Take pitty on a gal on a diet. Gimme some whine and cheese, and when you're done, head on over to the Ultimate Blog Party and discover some new blogs. There are a ton of prizes just begging to be won.