Make new friends, cuz the old ones keep leaving

standard September 14, 2007 9 responses

Between the friends who have left town over the last year or so and the friends who aren’t speaking to me any more I’m finding myself a little lacking in the crony department. And as some people have been remarking recently, making friends as a grown-up is brutal. Simply put, we’re rarely in a situation where we can meet new people and forge new relationships. So I’m trying something new.

The other night M and I headed to Pasta Pomodoro for a quick dinner with the girls. After a brief moment in hell, when both girls decided to show all the diners how well their lungs worked, I got everyone settled and proceeded to demonstrate my multi-tasking skills. After nursing Little L, assisting C, and feeding myself all while catching up with M, we packed up everyone and got ready to head home. I detoured via the restroom, infant and diaper in hand.

A young mom and her daughter were washing their hands. After letting them coo at the baby I chatted up the mom. She had two kids same ages as mine. She was friendly and funny. She could have been my best friend ever, except I never got the guts to take the conversation that extra step. I mean, how creepy would I have seemed asking her “out” in a restaurant restroom?

On our way out of the place we walked by their table, and we exchanged some more pleasantries, and again I chickened out. Four days later I’m still kicking myself. She could have been my new BFF, but we’ll never know. As I drove home I decided that I really needed cute little business cards to hand out when I meet a kindred spirit.

I jumped on Moo today and I made myself super cute calling cards. The back has various pictures of the kiddos, the front says Wanna have a playdate? followed by my email address and phone number. So if a slightly disheveled, tired looking woman accosts you in a restaurant bathroom, at the park, in the mall, or anywhere really, and hands you a colorful card while asking you to call her, don’t be scared. I swear I’m just looking for friends, nothing kinky.

How do you meet new people?

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9 responses

  • I am so socially awkward and shy that it took me nearly a year to work up the nerve to ask a co-worker/mom for cocktails. Then I totally blundered and never set a day and time. I suck. Good luck out there!

  • I’ll be your friend! I have a 26mo and another one on the way. Hope I don’t sound too desperate, my husband tells me I’m a cyber-stalker. He doesn’t understand that you can have “friends” that you’ve never met because of their blog.

    No but seriously, I’ve made some wonderful friends through Las Madres (which is based on where you live & the birth year of the child). I also made some good friends through my Mom’s group through El Camino Hospital (it’s great b/c all the kids were born w/in 3 months of each other), but since we were more geographically diverse, it became harder to keep up playdates as our kids grew older & nap schedules kept changing. Also, it’s became more difficult as more of us went back to work.

    I just started a co-op for my daughter, and I think I’ll be able to build a lot of friendships there, too.

    I work PT, and it’s gotten more difficult to maintain the friendships (thank goodness for email!), so I can’t imagine how difficult it would be if I worked FT, like you do. (BTW, Las Madres has a group just for working parents.)

    Have you been able to chat up any of the parents at C’s preschool? Maybe you could ask one of them out for a playdate? I think the cards are a great way to try to meet new people, since it’s hard to come up w/ paper & pen sometimes. And they’re more likely to keep it vs. a random scrap of paper, since they’re so cute.

  • Michelle – There’s hope yet! I stalked a mom at C’s daycare for weeks and we finally had lunch last week. If I remind myself that everyone is just as nervous about this stuff as I am it makes it easier to bite the bullet.

    Sun – Which LM group are you a part of? I’m trying to decide which one to join! I love cyber friends, reading blogs is a great way to decide if you are compatible with someone? lol

  • I love your “calling card” idea. My friends all seem to be moving away from me, too. πŸ™ I may have to steal your idea! I don’t have much advice on how to meet mom’s I’ve been working on that myself… join mom’s groups, stalk playgrounds, bookstores, etc.! πŸ™‚ It’s definitely “brutal” when you’re older… I had no problem when I was in school.

  • Hi Rose,

    I’m part of the 2005 Cupertino LM group. I’m also a Big Sister for the 2007 Cupertino group, but since I’m not due ’til 2008, I won’t be joining that one. Since Cupertino is so small geographically, we actually have members from all over – Santa Clara, Sunnyvale, W SJ, Saratoga & even Campbell.

    I’ve really enjoyed being a part of LM, and I think it’s a great way to make friends w/ kids close in age. It was especially great being a 1st time mom going through everything w/ other moms (some w/ 2nd kids) so you know that things are “normal”.

    If you’re free Sunday afternoon, I’m volunteering at the LM booth at the Cupertino Fall Festival from 1-4pm. They have music, crafts, Pirates and the Kid’s Zone is there w/ jump houses. Hope to see you there! Or email!

  • Oh, I forgot to mention, you can preview, or trial, as many LM groups as you want for 30 days. This way you can see which group you ‘click’ with or has the activity level/types you prefer. You can join as many groups as you want as well. Besides the neighborhood groups by child’s birth year, there’s also a working parents group & several others.

    Let me know if you have questions!

    And congrats for putting yourself out there & having a lunch date w/ another mom @ C’s preschool!

  • I went on Meetup dot com and found the best moms group ever!

    Give it a try and maybe you’ll hit the jackpot, too.

    Of course it did lead directly to my blogging addiction, so proceed with caution!

  • R

    Just go for it!
    I made on of my closest “mommy friends” in Pottery Barn when our girls were 4 months old- almost 2 years ago! It felt so weird at the moment, but we exchanged numbers and started hanging out. It helped that when we were talking, I specifically said that she should come try a workout I do. So that gave a reason for us to further contact eachother.

    Thought a “success” story could help you get up the courage to go for it!

  • r- That is helpful. I can’t wait for my cards to arrive. I’m going to start handing them out like candy.

    Sun – Shoot me an email! We couldn’t make it to the fair on Sunday and I can’t access your Blogger profile.

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